In the Mind of a Child
by Ender0656
Summary: This is a Rei and Shinji alternate universe fic. The kids are in high school and they are living normal lives. Please read and review! Chapter 15 up. Rei and Asuka begin their first day of afterschool clean up together. Neko the cat returns!
1. THIRD

**DISCLAIMER **

Apparently I haven't secured the right to Evangelion yet.

Hello again from Iraq, yep, it's my second time here. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I warn you this is an alternate universe fic, the kids are in high school and believe it not they are almost normal so look for some ooc. I had planned to write more of an introduction but after spending the entire day writing the story I find my imagination and wit drying up. Please enjoy.

**In the Mind of a Child**

Chapter 1. THIRD

When it comes to human beings the only cause that matters is the final cause, the purpose. What a person had in mind. Once you understand what people want, you can't hate them anymore. You can fear them, but you can't hate them, because you can always find the same desires in your own heart.

-Ayanami, Rei

The room fell into darkness as she closed the lid of her laptop. She sat in her chair staring at her toes which wiggled childishly and thought of what little bit of philosophy she would post on the nets tomorrow. She had become quite popular under the pseudonym "Zero" for her utilitarian, commonsensical essays. The nets were where she had influence, where people would listen to her ideas and not simply discredit her for being a child. As far as she was concerned her real life was lived in the discussion boards and group chat sessions where she could converse with people of her intellectual capacity. It wasn't that she disliked the people in her school for being "normal"; she just didn't share the same interests as they did.

"It's cold" Rei said aloud as she shuddered and rose from where she had been sitting. She enjoyed waking early and just lounging around as she watched the minutes slowly tick away. School didn't start for another hour and she usually waited until the last minute to get dressed. Though disorganized by normal standards, her apartment was in such a way that it made sense to her and she could easily find her clothes and get dressed in minutes if necessary.

After dressing herself she decided there wasn't enough time for breakfast and left her home headed for school on an empty stomach. She walked alone, unlike so many other kids on this route. In the year she had been at this high school Rei had made no real friends. She figured this was mostly her fault. Though she wasn't maliciously avoided she never went out of her way to talk to people either. As she passed a large group of boys she heard one of them call out her name but ignored him thinking this would only invite unwanted attention from the more perverted members of the group.

Having arrived at the courtyard to her school she took a seat at an empty bench and retrieved one of her books. She wasn't more that a few pages into reading before she was interrupted.

"Hey Ayanami!"

Rei knew that voice immediately, knew that wherever and whenever she heard it, trouble was soon to follow. Rei was an open minded person and tried her best to understand even the most obnoxious of people, however if there was one person that she hated it would have to be Asuka Langley Sohryu. She shook away the thought immediately and remembered that in a high school environment everything is about your reputation. Asuka gained power by bullying someone around, she gained popularity by putting someone who wasn't part of her group down. All that Asuka was trying to do was keep from being the one bullied, Rei couldn't fault her for that, eat or be eaten. The one thing that Rei couldn't understand is why the red headed cheer leader felt it was necessary to steal her books. She had already asserted her dominance, why further punish Rei by taking from her the means to educated herself.

"Hey Ayanami, I'm talking to you!"

Nothing to say, just leave.

"Hey Casper too smart to talk to us?" Asuka demanded.

Can't think of anything to answer. Anything I say will make it worse. So will say nothing.

Apparently Asuka had enough of being ignored and shoved Rei hard enough to make her drop her book on the ground. Before she could bend down to pick it up Asuka had her foot on it. Great there goes another one. "Bored already Asuka?" Rei sighed. This encounter could turn physical if she wasn't careful with what she said.

"Not especially, just wanted to say hello. I was just kidding anyway." Asuka said offering her hand

Rei knew better than to accept the feigned friendship and stood up on her own. This was the scenario every time Asuka's gang saw Rei enter the school. She couldn't understand why the girls automatically assumed she was weaker than them just because she kept to herself. There was basically no physical size difference. Even when Asuka didn't have her gang with her she was still a devil. Rei figured it was all about ego, Asuka's ego overshadowed hers therefore Rei was perceived as the weaker girl. However Rei also understood that if two egos were matched it always came down to physical strength. She wasn't about to resort to getting herself into trouble with the administration over something as trivial as this.

"Asuka you know as well as I do there are instructors all over the courtyard, so unless you plan on getting yourself suspended, get out of my way."

The surprised look on Asuka's face was proof she was caught off guard by Rei's response. "I was only joking before Ayanami, you've crossed the line. You had better watch your back from now on."

As Asuka walked away Rei silently kicked herself, this wouldn't be good. Her torment would continue everyday now, now that Asuka had been defeated in front of her friends. She was going to have to do something dramatic to regain her standing with the gang. That meant Rei was in trouble. What a wonderful way to start out the day.

The bell sounded that she had five minutes before school started. She still had a queasy feeling in her stomach as she walked to class. When she arrived at the door to the classroom she could see everyone else had already taken their seats and were chatting quietly. Rei would be the source of attention as she sit down and it would be the perfect opportunity for Asuka and her friends to do something childish to get her back for embarrassing them earlier. Rei just hoped whatever they were going to do wouldn't be too painful and figured she might as well get it over with. She braced herself for whatever was about to happen as she walked in the class and took her seat. After minutes of waiting she turned back to look at Asuka and saw that she wasn't even paying attention to Rei. This is bad. She would rather have Asuka embarrass her in front of the class than catch her outside of school where the fight wouldn't be as easily controlled.

"Stand, bow, sit!" Hikari the Class Rep. exclaimed.

In walked Misato the instructor dressed, as always, inappropriately. The rest of Rei's teachers normally wore some kind of semi-formal dress, or feminine business suit. But not Misato, she always looked like she had just come from a day at the beach. Today she dressed rather conservatively however, wearing jeans, sandals, and a tube top that showed off her endowment. Rei looked at her own chest and felt a slight tinge of jealously. She wondered if that would be her one day, dressing to impresses the simple minded testosterone driven boys in this school. If that was Misato's goal she had succeeded rather well considering the entire male population of the class drooled excessively whenever she entered the room.

"Good morning class!" Misato greeted the students with a wink, a wave, and a smile. The class responded enthusiastically. Rei rolled her eyes.

"Today is a special day, we have a new student! He's really cute too girls!" She said excitedly fanning herself in over exaggeration of how attractive this new kid was. "Please come in Mr. Ikari"

The boy that stepped in was seemingly normal on the surface, dark hair and eyes, skinny, not overly attractive but with no disfigurations either. She could read his body language like a book though. His arms laid limply at his sides, his eyes were set to the ground, when he spoke it was barely audible. Wow, she thought, he's almost as bad as I am.

"Hello, I'm Shinji Ikari."

Rei had almost lost interest in the introduction of the boy when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. The look on Asuka's face was unmistakable. The dreamy look she wore, the blush in her face, the way she batted her eyes whenever she thought he was looking. She was infatuated with this kid. Great, thought Rei, perhaps now her attention will be focused on something other than making my school life hell.

"Um, excuse me, but where do I sit ma'am?" Shinji whimpered.

"Call me Misato, I'm not old enough to be a ma'am kiddo."

"You look pretty old to me."

"I what!" Misato exclaimed.

Rei grinned as she watched Misato turn a stunning shade of red and puff up like a threatened bird. That ruffled her feathers, Rei thought. If there was one thing Misato hated, it was being told that she looked old.

Regaining her composer almost as quickly as she had lost it Misato calmly explained, "I'll forgive you for that this one time because you're new. Now as to where you sit" She paused looking in the air at nothing as if she were putting all of her intelligence into this one decision. "I know, sit beside the girl you think is cutest!" She exclaimed proudly.

Rei watched as he scanned the room for the girl who he would involuntarily embarrass. Finding his target he started down Asuka's row. Rei heard her shriek in happiness as he neared her desk; however just before he reached his assumed throne next to Asuka he turned and sat down beside Rei.

"Hi, I'm Shinji Ikari." He said with a shy smile on his face.

Rei looked at him with a mix of shock and horror and could only manage to say, "Huh?" before she was hit in the back of the head with a spitball. Oh dear God, Rei thought as she put her head on her desk hiding her face with her hands.

"Um, you have something in your hair." Shinji offered.

"Yes, I know."

"You're just going to leave it there?"

"If I wipe it away she'll just shoot another one, I figure why make her waste the spit." Rei mumbled.

"She who?"

"The girl you were supposed to sit beside."

Misato walked over and grabbed Rei's wrist lifting her slender arm high above her head like she had just won a boxing match. "Eat your heart out girls, look who Shinji chose! The smartest girl in our class, our little philosopher, our little Rei!"

By all means make it worse, Rei thought as she covered her face with the hand Misato hadn't captured.

"So has he asked you out yet? When is your first date with this stud?"

Date, are you kidding? Asuka is going to kill me before school is out, Rei thought but said nothing.

"Look how shocked she is everyone; this is probably the first time a boy has talked to her! Well if he hasn't asked you out yet Ms. Ayanami he'll have plenty of time. According to his schedule he's in every one of your classes!"

You have got to be kidding. Rei wasn't easily angered but Misato was definitely pushing it, this was out of control. The students were in the floor laughing, all of them except for Asuka that is. Rei didn't care about her reputation but Misato was unquestionably making the already unstable situation with the Red Head worse.

"Ms. Misato, do you remember last Thursday when you were so inebriated you had me teach the class and claim that you had to go home sick?" Rei said only loud enough for her instructor to hear. Misato was stunned. "I'm sure you do. So if you don't want to lose you job and make your living on the street corners wearing even less clothing that you are now, I suggest you let go of my arm."

Rei watched as Misato's eyes grew as wide as saucers, her shoulders slumped and she walked away with her head drooped. Eat or be eaten, Rei thought.

The rest of Rei's classes continued normally until lunchtime. Shinji had been following her around like a lost puppy all day so of course he felt inclined to sit with her while she ate. This bothered her because lunch was the only time she was able to sit down and learn something. She was extremely interested in group psychology and enjoyed watching the students interact with each other. She watched how the various cliques volleyed for supremacy and better seating. Rei also noticed the subtle infighting between clique leader and the rest of the clique. Even in the more outcast groups there were still people trying to prove themselves better than everybody else.

Everyone had gotten used to Rei sitting by herself while she stared at them and wrote little notes in her binder. Occasionally she would actually sit with a group of people and listen in on conversations while saying nothing. At first people were a little thrown off by this weird, antisocial behavior, but eventually the students of the cafeteria regarded her presence with little more attention that a chair or table.

"Hello Ayanami."

High school drama being what it is Rei expected the wide-eyed stares and gasps as he took his seat. What she didn't expect was that Asuka's little gang of cheerleaders were going to get up and move all the way across the room to a table in front of hers. Asuka, of course placed herself so she could see and hear everything Rei and Shinji said.

"Hello, Ikari." Rei sighed.

"Thanks for showing me around today." Shinji said obviously desperate to start a conversation.

I didn't show you around, you followed me and I ignored you as best I could, Rei thought. It really wasn't fair the way she was treating him, he had done nothing more than sit beside her in class letting everyone know he thought she was prettier than Asuka, the girl that tortured her day in and out. Rei was determined however not to let the Red Head influence the way she treated other people. She had been new once as well and knew what it was like to have no friends, she just didn't mind as much.

"Don't worry about it. So how do you like the school?" Rei said and realized that she was horrible at idle chit chat with people her own age.

"Its…" Shinji was interrupted by Asuka who had jumped from her jair and had perched herself neatly on the table pushing Rei's food into her lap.

"Hi, I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu. You're Shinji the new guy right? Can I call you Shinji, I'm sure you don't mind." She giggled and tickled his face with one of her multicolored pompoms.

This was about the point where most boys in the school would have fallen madly in love with her. From Rei's observations it was a game to Asuka. She would show them a little attention and they would fall for her. The game usually started out exactly like it had today, with Asuka ridiculously hopping on the table and then offering the boy to let him take her out. How they fell for it Rei never could figure out. Once they were hooked however she would use them to get what ever materialistic non-essentials she thought she needed.

Shinji either wasn't falling for it or wasn't interested, he just sat there trying to eat his lunch while picking out the loose streamers that had fallen from Asuka's pompoms. "Su…sure, call me Shinji I don't mind."

"You're so shy! I like boys that are shy though, don't worry." Asuka said with a wink. "I have an idea, why don't you take me to the baseball game tonight?"

There goes the pitch, Rei thought to herself..

"No thanks, I don't really like baseball" he answered without looking up from his plate.

Swing and a miss. Rei couldn't understand what was going on. He was almost completely ignoring her.

"Well you like girls don't you?" Asuka exclaimed, annoyed at being snubbed.

Rei was beginning to wonder the same thing herself.

"Ayanami, will you be going to the game?" Shinji asked.

"Wha…?" Rei stuttered. What is this kid trying to do to me?

Asuka turned around with an absolutely demonic look on her face but it disappeared as soon as Shinji repeated his question.

"Of course she's going to the game! We're the best of friends aren't we Rei?" Asuka reached over and gave Rei a hug and messed up her hair in an award worthy display of phony friendship.

Rei almost said no, but then realized that she could benefit from the situation. She quickly formulated a plan for how she could once and for all get Asuka off her back. "I'll go." She answered removing Asuka's hand from her head.

"Well would you mind if I came with you?" Shinji had to peer around Asuka who was still seated on the table.

"Well gee I wouldn't mind at all" Rei said in her best impression of what she thought the Red Head would say. She even tried giggling but that didn't come out at all the way she had expected.

Before she stormed off to her awaiting gang Asuka leaned in close to Rei's ear and ominously whispered "I'll catch you on the way home Ayanami."

I'm counting on it.

Rei knew they would come sooner or later. She was banking that Asuka would try and berate her vocally before she got physical. A fight with her alone Rei could handle, not necessarily win, but she wouldn't be injured that badly. Asuka would almost certainly bring her friends and that's when it would become hazardous to her health.

"Hey freak!"

There they were, five of them still clad in their red and blue cheerleading outfits. Leading the pack of course was her new best friend. Hands on hips and from the expression on her face mad as hell.

"Come to beat me up because one boy out of the whole school prefers my intelligence to your indecency?" Rei had to play this carefully; she had to manipulate Asuka into believing Shinji liked her without inviting a beating.

"Well freak, if he thinks you're prettier than me I guess we'll just have to rearrange your face a little." Asuka replied taking a step in her direction.

Rearrange my face? Rei was almost sure she could name the teenage soap opera Asuka stole that line from. "Bring all your friends to help you as well?"

"They won't get involved."

Unless you're losing. "I have a better idea, we could make a deal." Rei said standing her ground as the Red Head closed in.

"There's nothing you have that I want freak." Asuka said taking out hear earrings in preparation for the brawl.

"Oh no? How about Shinji?"

Asuka stopped in her tracks. "He…he doesn't like you."

It had worked, she was listening and that's all Rei needed. Being a student of psychology meant Rei could talk herself out of almost anything, especially with someone as insecure as Asuka. "We all saw what happened in the cafeteria today and in the classroom this morning. Did you forget who he chose to sit beside?"

Asuka deflated a little, the anger gone from her face. "Wha…what do you propose?"

She actually likes this guy, Rei thought to herself. This was going to be easier than she had anticipated. "You and your cronies leave me alone, now and forever, and I'll not only forget about Shinji but I'll convince him to go on a date with you. However if you choose to fight me now, you may win, but You Know Who is going to be carrying my books tomorrow, sitting beside me at lunch and helping me at my apartment with, oh whatever I need while I'm injured."

"How do you know you can get him to go on a date with me, he didn't even notice me today at lunch." Asuka said averting her eyes.

So she is human after all. This wasn't good, Rei needed to see her as an enemy to pull this off without getting beaten. She couldn't understand why, after all that Asuka had done to annoy her, she was sympathetic for the love stricken girl.

"Trust me." Rei said as she pushed past Asuka's groupies.

End Chapter 1.

Again, thank you for reading my story. This fiction in general, especially the first chapters are in honor of Orson Scott Card's "Enders Game".


	2. Truth

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 2**

Truth

The names on the faces and places, they mean nothing to me. The streets and the thousands of colors all bleed into one. I fall down, heaven won't help me. I call out, no one will hear. All of the sudden I've lost my way out in the city. Stand tall, stand proud. Every beginning has broken its promise. I'm having trouble just finding my soul in this town.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

"Hey don't worry about it Asuka, we'll get her at the game tonight!" Lavi exclaimed as the gang started on their way home.

"Yeah Lavi's right, she's toast." Kaname and Sakura agreed.

They all turned their attention to Shinobu to see what she had to add. After waiting in silence for her response; Lavi, the only other red head Asuka knew, grew impatient.

"Shinobu!"

The volume of Lavi's voice was enough to shake her out of her daydream. "Huh…oh…oh yeah go get her."

"You guys will do no such thing!" Asuka stared down each one of them to make sure they understood correctly. "I don't need your help to handle Ayanami. I'll break that twig-girl in half." That comment got some sly grins from the girls. "Besides, if she wants to hand Shinji over to me I figure why stop her?"

"Wow, so you planned this entire thing?" Sakura, the most loyal one of the group asked innocently.

"Of course I did." Asuka lied. "You think I'd let Ayanami get away with everything she said unless I had a plan?"

Everyone looked convinced except for the class vice president Kaname Chidori. Out of all the other girls she was the only one that had the ability and desire to challenge Asuka's authority. She was surely popular enough. Kaname was second smartest in the class according to her GPA, which followed Ayanami's, albeit by a large margin. She was also gorgeous. Her long flowing hair billowed behind her back in the slight wind and her stunning azure colored eyes glistened in the sunlight filled with the prospect of dethroning Asuka.

Though Kaname had the potential to be in charge of the clique, Asuka knew there was no immediate danger of her being overthrown. This was largely because of the other girls. Shinobu wasn't really interested in who lead the gang. She was in the cheerleading squad for the extra credit and kind of just fell into place with the crew. She would most likely follow whoever wanted to be chief. Lavi, easily the most aggressive of the group was there because she liked mouthing off and fighting with cheerleaders from the other schools. Sakura however had been her friend for a long time, and was completely faithful. She was also involved in some kind of secretive ninjitsu training school. In stark contrast and possible violation of the Dojo's guarded reputation however, she wore its symbol etched on a metal band and set into a piece of cloth in her hair.

As they neared Asuka's residence Sakura spoke up. "You know Asuka, Kaname may have the biggest house but I love yours because it's so stylish and modern. It's a shame your parents are so strict with you having guests over. I'd really like to see the inside sometime."

Asuka only smiled in response as she walked slowly into the front gate and began to walk toward the back yard. _If you only knew. _

"Bye Asuka, we'll see you at the game tonight!" Kaname said with a smile. Even though she was competition, Kaname was still a friend and was there to help if necessary, and Asuka knew it.

She waited until she thought her friends were a safe distance away and then hopped the fence and began the long walk to her real home which was located in a strikingly less glitzy part of town.

Arriving in her front yard she noticed that her father's car wasn't in the driveway. That was no big surprise. He hadn't been home in years. The lawn had not been mown since the neighbors she borrowed the mower from moved to a nicer part of town. Her tiny home was in various states of disrepair. Everything from the roof to the wooden steps leading to her door needed fixing. She stepped in her living room and could still smell the light stench left by the kerosene heaters they used when the weather turned cold. Asuka remembered sleeping in her room with the heater off so she wouldn't go to school the next day with odor stained clothing. She figured being cold was a small price to pay to maintain her popularity.

Her mother worked two jobs and wouldn't return until later that night. Asuka had begged her mother to let her try and find employment but she flatly refused saying she'd rather work two jobs than have Asuka waste her after school time working for some convenience store.

Asuka checked her watch and saw she had two more hours until the game. With no television or phone to keep her busy she walked into her room and reached under her mattress to retrieve one of the many books she kept hidden there. Spread out on her bed she turned to the cover page of the book and read the title "Voices of Wisdom". In the margin of the book was the name Rei Ayanami written in blue ink to mark ownership. _I'm sorry_, she thought to herself before flipping to the dog eared page where she had last stopped reading.

Two hours was plenty of time for Rei to compose and post her daily essay with the online philosophy magazine she published to. Rei had worked out a deal with Misato where she would use her instructor's bank account to deposit her paycheck so as to avoid the unreasonable underage discrimination.

The problem was that she couldn't seem to focus, her thoughts kept wondering to the events that had taken place this afternoon_. I really hurt her today_, Rei thought to herself. _It doesn't have to be this way, why can't she just leave me alone? Never mind the fact that I'm using that new kid Ikari like a pawn in some juvenile game of chess. _Today had been the first day Rei had to deal with physical violence. She was severely disappointed in herself because she could think of no other way to escape the situation with Asuka besides involving an innocent like Ikari. Rei made up her mind then that she was going to do her best to make friends with the new kid. She remembered what she had promised Asuka, and would follow through with everything she could. Rei would not however stop talking to him. And if Asuka attempted sadistically forcing her, she would be ready.

After an hour of staring at the screen of her laptop the only thing she had managed to type was "Revenge is a dish best served cold" She laughed to herself and shut her computer down, opting to type up her essay sometime after the game tonight. Rei looked at the piece of paper in her hand and debated whether or not to call the number Ikari had written on it. She knew that high school boys perceived plutonic friendship as an invitation to sexual misconduct. If she called him she may very well be opening the flood gates.

After three rings an older man picked up the phone identifying himself as Ikari's father Gendo. "Is Shinji available?"

"No, I'm sorry. He's currently at work."

"Would you mind informing me of where that is?" Rei wouldn't normally have been this intrusive but she had set out to do something and wanted to accomplish this mission as soon as possible.

"Um…I don't see why not. He works for a man named Mr. Toriyama at a website design company downtown. If you had planned on visiting him I can give you directions."

"I already know the way." Rei said before she hung up the phone.

For a reason unknown to her she was nervous, very nervous. It started as soon as she had left her apartment and grew progressively worse as she neared the company. She was out of her element. She would have to deal with too many unforeseen circumstances when she arrived. What if Shinji disapproved of her being there? What if the manager was rude? _I shouldn't be here, _Rei thought as she stepped in the glass entrance of the dome shaped building.

"Welcome to Capsule Corp." A middle-aged, man behind the counter greeted her. His platinum dyed hair standing on end from unimaginable amounts of gel. He wore a black tank top inscribed with the words "Knowledge is power" and a picture of a blue overweight cricket donned in sunglasses.

Rei immediately felt that she could keep her distance from this man. "You must be Mr. Toriyama." She said still standing by the door incase she needed to escape quickly.

"Please, please call me Akira. How may I help you today my azure princess?" He said through a mouthful of pocky.

"I…uhh…I'm here to see Shinji." Rei explained checking behind her to make sure the exit was still clear.

"Ikari? Oh sure he's here." Mr. Toriyama stepped halfway through a double door that was behind him and yelled out Shinji's name announcing his girlfriend was here.

Ikari stepped through the doors clothed in a white collared shirt and tie, slacks and a shined pair of dress shoes. He also wore a thin framed pair of eye glasses that she hadn't seen him in earlier. _Wow_

"Hey Shinji, ask her if she has any friends!" Mr. Toriyama called out covering his mouth in a mock whisper.

"She's like sixteen Akira."

"I mean the older friends of course."

"Pervert" Shinji said with a smile shaking his head. "Hello Ayanami" He greeted her with a wave.

"H…hi…Shin…I mean Ikari. You look rather overdressed considering what your supervisor is wearing." Rei said as she partly covered her reddening face with her hand.

"Yeah I know. I dressed like this for the interview and he just gave me the job on the spot."

There was something different about him, Rei thought. His posture and demeanor had changed. He had more confidence in his voice when he spoke. If she didn't know better she would have thought this was a totally different person.

Before she could say anything else a man in his early twenties ran up and began speaking feverishly with Ikari.

"Shinji, I can't find the coding to place tables on the page. You gotta help me this site has to be done in half an hour!"

Shinji crossed his arms, he face turned serious. "Firstly, it's impolite to not introduce yourself. Secondly, it's especially rude to interrupt a girl, particularly if she's as pretty as Ayanami. Lastly, I just started. You've been working here for months. Why are you coming to me for help?"

_Who is this guy_? Rei thought to herself as she stared at Ikari.

"I know Shinji, but you've gotta help me!" The man pleaded.

Ignoring the boys begging, Ikari turned to Rei. "Ayanami, this is Keitaro Urashima and he's rude. He does however need my help, please excuse me."

Rei simply waved her acknowledgement. _Is this the same person as this morning?_ Rei thought to herself. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, it's like he had gone through a complete transformation. _Not a necessarily bad transformation at that. _Rei found herself strangely attracted to this new personality, but forced herself to dismiss the feeling.

After criticizing his coworker for a while longer he spat out some kind of technological jargon and sent the young man away.

"I apologize for my friend." Shinji said returning his attention to her. "To what do I owe the honor of your visit?"

Rei giggled to herself and was immediately embarrassed. She mentally punished herself for acting like a little schoolgirl and attempted to regain her composure. "I came to apologize for earlier today. I wasn't very sociable and I'm sorry."

"No you weren't very nice were you" Shinji said in a gravely serious tone as he seemingly stared through her.

Rei had a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. She almost felt like running away.

His face broke and he started laughing. "I'm just kidding around Ayanami. Do you think I'm blind? I saw what was going on between you on Asuka. I'm sure I just made it worse. Anyway for whatever its worth, I'm sorry and I also forgive you as well." Shinji said with a smile as his put a hand on her shoulder.

Rei felt her knees go weak. Unconsciously, she ran a hand through her hair and pushed a few stray locks out of her face. _What the holy hell I just preened myself._ She took a step back and searched her mind for something intelligent to say. "D…did you know Asuka likes you?" Rei felt the need to massage her temple for the idiocy of the comment.

"Is that so? Well she is pretty hot, gotta love the cheerleading outfit." Shinji said rubbing his imaginary beard.

_But you sat beside me, _Rei thought as her heart dropped a little. _Wait, what the do I care?_

"I don't know though, she seems pretty obnoxious." Shinji said.

"She is obnoxious and she steals my books!" Rei replied before she could stop herself.

"Oh a bad girl huh? I kinda like that."

Rei's face showed the disappointment she felt. She still couldn't understand why she was feeling anything in the first place.

"I'm into the intellectual girls though, and she doesn't seem like that type."

Her heart jumped at that comment. _Make up your mind. _This was too much for her. She couldn't comprehend why it seemed like her feelings were attached to a rollercoaster. The highs and lows based merely on what he said. "Yes well she seems to like you a lot and I just came to tell you that it would be beneficial if you took her out on a date."

"So she got you to come all the way down here to ask me out for her? Wow you two must be great friends."

She forced her hand into a thumbs up. "The best"

"I guess we'll have to see at the game tonight. You are still going with me right?"

_I don't really have a choice. _"Of course I'm going, I said I would." Rei snapped.

"We could walk there from here but I don't get off work for a while. You could use one of the computers over there if you like." He said pointing to a small group of public access laptops. "This place doubles as an internet café."

"Fine" Rei said.

After Shinji had returned behind the double doors she logged on to her magazine's website. When she was done typing her essay, she looked it over and realized it was the most sexually biased report she had ever composed. She did feel better however.

Suddenly cast in someone's shadow she could smell the gel before she could see the person.

"Hello my sapphire doll. Want some pocky?" Mr. Toriyama offered as he licked the icing off his pudgy fingers.

She less than politely thanked him and refused; after he left she logged back on and began searching the nets for personal defense classes available in her neighborhood.

End Chapter 2

Thanks for reading everyone. Just so you know, there are five different anime series that have cameo parts in this chapter, special prize goes to whoever can find them all first.


	3. Into the Looking Glass

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 3**

Into the Looking Glass

Isolation inspires creativity, it also fosters callousness.

-Ayanami, Rei

"Ikari, are you aware that you might have a mild to moderate case of dissociative identity disorder?" Rei asked trying to hide her excitement. Shinji would be her first real case study.

"Dissoca…what?" Ikari asked with perplexity written all over his face.

"I'm saying you have split personalities."

"If I had multiple personalities then I wouldn't be aware of it. So why did you even ask?" Shinji stated with a victorious grin on his face.

_Smart kid_, Rei thought. She had come to the conclusion that Shinji had a disorder not from the absurd way he acted at work, but from the absolutely normal way he had acted afterward. As soon as he stepped foot outside the threshold of Capsule Corp. his persona completely switched back to the Ikari she knew from school. The determined, serious gaze he once had was now gone, in its place was a look only a lost puppy should have. No longer resilient and assertive his voice had dissolved into something more whimpering and bland. His shoulders and head slumped. He had even changed out of his businessman-like clothing. _I blushed, I was actually blushing_, Rei thought as she watched Shinji stumble over his own feet.

"You're crazy Ayanami. I'm just shy I guess." He said regaining his balance.

"No Ikari, I'm introverted, analytical, and cold. You're crazy."

He laughed to himself and shook his head but said nothing further.

"Do you honestly not remember the way you treated your coworker? How about when you complemented me?" Rei probed further, unable to drop the subject.

"You're kidding. I wouldn't say something like that to you."

Rei ignored the somewhat backhanded insult and tried to push the memory of her initial reaction at being complemented further out of her mind. "Ikari, I wouldn't make something like this up."

"I'm sixteen years old. I would be in an institution by now if I had dissacio….split personalities. Do you have any other proof?" Shinji asked, a slight hint of anger in his voice.

Nodding in response she took out the little green notebook she always carried with her. She began scribbling notes but was interrupted.

"What's that?" Shinji asked trying to peek at what she was writing.

"It's my proof. You're going to be my first case study. When I'm finished I'll provide you with the evidence." She explained while playfully fighting off Shinji's halfhearted attempts to steal her book.

They had been walking for only a couple of blocks when they arrived at his house. Shinji had needed to stop by and ask for permission to go to the game. He had stated before that it shouldn't be a problem. Apparently his parents were very tolerant with the way he used his off time.

"I'm gonna get the mail Ayanami. Just go and knock on the front door, my parents are expecting us." Shinji explained as he left her side and ran to his mailbox.

Ikari's was the biggest house she had ever seen. Her tiny studio sized apartment could fit under their front porch. Even though they lived in a more modern district of town the house was designed like it belonged in Feudal Japan. The magnitude of Ikari's house wasn't that large of a surprise to her. While they were walking home he explained that his parents were at the head of some very lucrative endeavors. His father Gendo had spearheaded the Crystalline Instrumentality Project. From Ikari's explaining, this was the development of technology that made it possible to store digital information on crystals. His mother was also a renowned computer scientist. She had designed banking software called Economic Variant Architecture. The details of this program were too sophisticated for her to understand anything beyond the basic idea so Rei just nodded along pretending to comprehend what Ikari was saying.

The front door itself was intimidating. The house was obviously too high class to have a buzzer but the large metal knocker looked as if it were more for decoration rather than utility. She took to lightly rapping on the large window panel that was encased in the door. To her relief she heard a familiar-sounding female voice.

"You must be…" The woman who answered the door stopped in mid-sentence as soon as she opened up far enough to see Rei. She just stood there with saucer sized eyes and stared at Rei.

Rei stared right back, equally astonished.

"Do you two know each other?" Ikari asked as he walked up on the two gawking at each other.

"Ik…Ikari, your mother, she looks just like me." Rei whispered. She heard Ikari's mother whisper the same thing to her husband as he arrived at the entrance.

"What are you talking about Ayanami, you guys look nothing alike." Shinji said laughing to himself.

"I'm going to agree with Shinji sweetheart you and young Ms. Rei here look completely dissimilar." Mr. Ikari said to his wife with a grin on his bearded face.

"Honey, you have got to be kidding. The only difference between us is hair color and twent…eh…fifteen years." Misses Ikari retorted still not taking her eyes away from Rei's.

"Well since my son and apparently my wife are too uncouth to welcome you, please come in." Gendo offered lightly moving his stunned wife out of the way.

The outside of the house may have been imposing but the interior was even more daunting. It was also remarkably westernized. High ceilings complemented by what looked to be ridiculously expensive chandeliers. Wall painting and sculptures decorated what Mr. Ikari dubbed the artificial dining room. They passed a metallic conference/dining table that could seat at least twelve people.

"I'll get some refreshments." Misses Ikari walked toward the kitchen shaking her head still in disbelief.

"We'll sit in the family room, this place is too formal." Mr. Ikari said nodding toward the conference room they had just proceeded through.

As they entered the "family room" Rei watched as Ikari's father took a seat in a leather recliner. The only other seating available was a chair that obviously belonged to Misses Ikari and a couch. Rei made a point to sit down before Shinji so he would involuntarily be put in the position to choose how close to sit to her. To her surprise he sat almost shoulder to shoulder with her. _He's definitely still in subdued Shinji persona. Perhaps he just feels more relaxed here. _Rei almost whipped out her little book again but decided against it.

"You know Shinji, I told you I never wanted you to use your computer knowledge for malicious intent. However if there was one person I'd want you to umm…hack, it would have to be this Zero character." Ikari's father said with disdain.

"Yeah I've heard of him. What's the problem?" Shinji apparently perked up at the possible permission to crack into someone's system.

"Have you seen his latest essay? It's entitled Phallic Flaws of the Modern World. This report is the most one-sided piece of man-bashing trash I've ever read." Ikari's father answered with a growl.

Rei sat there making as little noise as possible. She regretted posting that essay, her credibility no doubt suffered for it. She was relieved when Misses Ikari returned with four porcelain cups of tea.

"What's got you so upset Gendo?" Ikari's mother asked, making light of the angry expression his father wore.

"The latest essay that Zero character posted." He said shifting his tinted eyeglasses.

"The one about the penis?" She said obviously playing dumb in an effort to evoke her husband's anger. "I think she had some rather valid points."

Rei noticed that Ikari shifted uncomfortably at his mother's use of the word penis. She made a mental note to look up what Freud had to say about this odd behavior.

"Yes dear the one about the penis." Mr. Ikari replied trying the best he could to not succumb to his wife's manipulation.

"So can I hack that guy or what Dad?" Ikari interrupted, his face beat red.

"No son, I was only kidding. You're lucky they even let you around computers anymore with some of the stuff you've pulled. Why are you blushing so badly? Is your mother embarrassing you in front of your little girlfriend? Look what you've done Yui."

That was the second time she had been referred to as Ikari's girlfriend. She was rather tired of it. She wondered why adults always assumed that if two teenagers were spending time together they had to be in a relationship.

"All I said was penis Gendo. It's not like she doesn't know what that word means. As a matter of fact she could probably teach you and me a few things."

_Did she just call me a whore_, Rei thought but showed no outward clues that she had even heard the comment.

As if reading her mind Misses Ikari replied, "I wasn't calling you a whore Rei, I was simply referring to the fact the kids of today are more sexually educated than children of mine and Gendo's time."

Rei didn't even hear what she had said, she was too busy noticing that she and Shinji's mother sat in the exact same position. She even drank tea the same way as Rei did, wiping at her lips with her pinky after each sip.

Ikari had resorted to burying his face in his hands. Rei figured that he was embarrassed on her behalf for his parent's behavior. Out of self observation Rei noticed that she tended to stereotype teenage boys. Ikari was definitely not the average boy though. She knew she had walls put up to keep away even completely plutonic friendship. She also remembered she had decided to become his friend. She nudged him with her shoulder and flashed him a little grin and whispered "You're crazy but your parents are psychotic."

Shinji's smile was enough to let her know that he was in a better mood. _He does have a nice smile_, Rei thought to herself and blushed openly without trying to hide it.

Done with their silent game of who can anger who. Shinji's parents turned their attention to the children.

"So what do your parents do Rei?" Misses Ikari asked.

"I wouldn't know. I'm an orphan." Rei responded in monotone. She hated when people asked about her parents. Not because she harbored any ill will toward them, but because adults always found it so hard to understand that she didn't care about being abandoned. Rei prepared herself to answer with the almost conditioned responses she gave whenever people questioned her about the way her parents left her.

"Interesting" Shinji's mother said, showing no interest in their reasoning.

Shinji on the other hand wore the sappiest look of sympathy she had ever seen.

"Who do you live with if I might ask?" Misses Ikari asked continuing her questioning.

"I live alone." Rei replied convinced that she would get some kind of emotional response from Shinji's mother this time.

"Impressive. So Shinji, where are you two going tonight?"

_This is peculiar. She doesn't seem to care at all. _Rei actually found herself growing fond of Shinji's parents.

"To a baseball game." Shinji replied still holding that sickening empathic look on his face.

"Well you two have fun. Oh and Rei my husband apologizes for all this talk of genitalia. He promises he won't be this rude the next time you come over." She said slapping Mr. Ikari playfully on the leg.

"Yes, yes, and my wife apologizes for being delusional." Mr. Ikari responded without looking away from the newspaper he had started reading. "Shinji be sure to bring a jacket for your friend incase it gets windy."

"Who said chivalry was dead?" Misses Ikari kissed her husband on the cheek as she got up and took the empty cups away.

The sun was setting by the time they left the house casting the city in amber luminescence. The multicolored leaves whipped across the sidewalk in the fall wind. Rei was wearing Shinji's jacket before they got two blocks away from the house.

"Thanks" Rei said as she accepted the wind breaker feeling an odd range of emotions. On one hand she felt as if she were in a bad teen movie wearing her boyfriend's jacket. She also couldn't help but feel…she couldn't explain what it was but it was rather pleasant having someone care about her comfort enough that they would put their own well being aside. "You know Shinji; you don't have to worry so much. I actually like your parents. Their honesty is commendable."

"Yeah." Shinji replied. It was amazing to see his personality change so rapidly and dramatically depending on what environment he was in. His hands were in his pockets and he was kicking small pebbles on the sidewalk as he walked. He was obviously in what Rei had named Shinji A persona. The personality he wore whenever he was in unfamiliar situations and around unfamiliar people. So far she had noted three strikingly different personalities. Shinji B surfaced when he was at home. He was relaxed and almost normal. Shinji C had only appeared when he was at work and was the most contrasting.

_If I were in college I could get my doctorate off this kid._

The spotlight had been activated by the time they entered the fence surrounding the school's baseball field. Tiny particles of dust and living organisms were visible in the rays cast by the giant light. The game had already started. There were still people walking around gathered in their respective groups. Some of them were buying things from the concession stand, others were horse playing in the grass. Asuka's group, the one surrounded by all the males was the most loud and obnoxious. _Well let's get this over with_, Rei thought as she walked over to the crowd of people surrounding the cheerleaders.

"Hello Asuka, I see you're dressed for the weather."

Asuka looked down at her bare legs and scowled. "Whatever Ayanami, your not one to talk about fashion, I mean look at you. You're wearing a black skirt, a black turtleneck, and a bright red wind breaker."

Her friends all thought her comeback was hilarious.

"You know Asuka you're right, I do look silly. Here I don't need this anymore, but thank you Shinji that was sweet of you." Rei said with a grin as she handed his jacket back to him.

Asuka stood there stunned. _That shut her up._

Pushing herself between Shinji and Rei she took his hand. "Hi Shinji! I'm really glad you came, I was worried you had forgotten about me." Asuka said making a pouting face.

_Oh brother. _Rei crossed her arms and had to take a step back because Asuka had completely invaded her space to get next to Shinji.

"No, I didn't forget, it's A…Asuka right?" Shinji said looking at his entrapped hand.

Asuka flashed Rei a cold stare. "You remembered my name! Come on Shinji we have seats right over here." Asuka said leading him away. Rei obviously wasn't meant to follow because an anal looking red headed girl from Asuka's gang stood in her way as they walked away.

"Hi, I'm Rei Ayanami, and you must be Asuka's doormat. Let's be great friends." Rei said offering her hand.

Returning a solitary middle finger, the red head said nothing.

"You could at least give me your name so in a few years when you're robbing liquor stores I can tell people I once knew "that" girl."

"My name is Lavi, and another comment like that and I'll beat you senseless."

Grinning Rei walked to the concession stand to buy something to wash away the animosity.

End Chapter 3


	4. Forsaken

Thanks to everyone for all the feedback I've been getting. Your reviews are the motivation I need to continue writing more chapters. Again thank you. That being said I just wanted to note that Toji makes an appearance in this chapter. I read somewhere that he has some kind of Japanese accent. I don't know how to interpret that into writing so instead I wrote him as if he spoke like the English soccer hooligan from the movie Eurotrip. Well enjoy!

**In the Mind of A Child Chapter 4**

Forsaken

Maybe I just wanna fly. Wanna live but don't wanna die. Maybe I just wanna breathe, maybe I just don't believe. Maybe you're the same as me. We'll see things they'll never see. You and I are gonna live forever.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

"Is Asuka so unsure of her ability to seduce Shinji that she needs you to follow me around?" Rei said as she glanced at Lavi who had been watching her the entire time she had been in line. 

"If you don't like it you could always leave" Lavi retorted unconsciously tapping her foot on the grass.

Before Rei could respond a blond haired boy about her age walked up and greeted Lavi.

"Hey Sleepy Head, you finally woke up huh?" Lavi exclaimed with a warm smile on her face.

He had the most amazing eyes Rei had ever seen. They were the color of the sky on a clear day, a brilliant cerulean blue. There was a clarity in his gaze that she had never seen before. She could only imagine what he would have looked like in the daytime.

"Sorry, I overslept again" The boy said apologetically. "I've been looking all over for you Lavi, where have you been?"

"I…I've been busy." She said eyeing Rei.

"Oh I see, well are you ready? We're missing the game."

"Sure! Let's go." Lavi said as she took the boys arm and began to walk away.

Lavi had obviously forgotten about her and Rei could have easily slipped away unnoticed but she couldn't resist. "You kids have fun"

The red head stopped instantly, remembering her assigned duty.

"What's wrong Lavi?" The boy turned around and looked at Rei. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Uh…I…" Lavi stuttered unsure of what to do next.

"Hi, I'm Rei Ayanami" She introduced herself in hopes of annoying the red head.

He responded with a kind smile. "Nice to meet you, my name is Clou…" He was interrupted as Lavi dragged him away by his arm.

"Just stay away from Asuka and Shinji!" Lavi exclaimed as she pulled Sleepy Head away.

_I wonder what I'll do without my watchdog following me around_, Rei thought to herself.

"Hey whaddaya want?" A boy behind the counter of the concession stand yelled out. The line had dissipated since the start of the game and Rei was the only one still there.

* * *

"Yeah!" 

Shinji watched as Asuka and the rest of the people in the stands jumped from the stands and screamed as the batter knocked one out of the park.

"Are you having a good time Shinji?" Asuka asked returning to her seat.

"Oh, uh yeah sure" Shinji responded without looking away from the game. "Where is Ayanami?"

"I don't know, she probably left already. You don't like being here with me?" Asuka replied tugging on Shinji's sleeve.

"It…it's not that, I was just wondering where she was"

"Don't worry about her Shinji, Asuka is much better looking" Kaname explained from her seat behind Shinji. "Isn't that right Shinobu?"

"Whatever you say Kaname" Shinobu replied with a shy grin. "Oh look Asuka here comes Toji!"

"Oy! Asuka did you see dat? I hit a car with me ball." Toji said through the fence as he dusted off his cleats.

"Yeah it was awesome! Wasn't it great Shinji?" She said giving him a hug.

The baseball player gave him an absolutely murderous look. No one but Shinji seemed to notice. "Yeah, great job Toji." Shinji said testing the waters.

Toji grunted in response and walked back to his dugout.

"Asuka you're so lucky, look how the guys flock to you!" Sakura said retying the blue cloth she used to keep her hair up.

"**Number thirteen Sousuke Sagara" **A voice on the loudspeaker announced as a deathly serious looking boy walked away from the dugout and approached the batters box.

"Go Sousuke!" Kaname screamed at the top of her lungs as she waved her arms and jumped from her seat.

The boy responded with a little salute.

"A...Asuka, I'm gonna go use the restroom. I'll be right back." Shinji said as he got up from the metal stand.

"Oh, okay, I'll miss you!" Asuka replied with a wink.

After waiting until Shinji was safely out of earshot Asuka turned to Sakura. "Follow him"

"Will do." She replied and was gone before Asuka had returned her gaze back to the game.

* * *

Shinji walked out of the bathroom still drying his hands and was promptly greeted by a baseball bat toting Toji. 

"Oy! Who said you could sit next to me girl?"

"Y…your girl?" Shinji replied as he looked around for any possible exit.

"Yeah, me girl, I saw you two sittin together. So if ya don't mind, enlighten me. **Who da hell are ya!"** The boy screamed as he slammed his bat on the ground.

"Stop right there!" A female voice exclaimed.

"Where da hell did dat come from?" Toji asked bewildered.

Suddenly, out of no where Sakura dropped in front of Shinji.

"I am protecting this boy in the name of Asuka Langley Sohryu!" Sakura exclaimed dramatically as she took her fighting stance.

"Were you hidin in da trees? What da hell were you doin in da trees?" Toji asked even more confused than before. "Look Saukra, just get out of me way, I don't hit girls"

"YA!" Was Sakura's only reply as she placed a foot firmly in Toji's groin. "Run Shinji!" She said taking his hand and escaping toward their seats.

_Not a smart move_, Rei thought to herself. She was sitting under a small tree with her notebook prepared to write down Shinji's reaction to the situation. She had hoped to see for herself weather or not his personality switched when he was under threat of physical violence. _She may have saved Shinji today but she's only created a worse situation for him later. _

Rei walked to the slumped over Toji and intentionally asked the obvious question. "Are you alright?"

With his hands still covering his injured manhood Toji rolled onto his side to face Rei. A look of pain etched on his face. "No I'm not alright. I just had me boys crunched!"

"You must be pretty angry." Rei said as she knelt down and swiped away some of the debris that had collected on Toji's forehead from his from his face first fall.

"You're damn right I'm angry, I'm gonna kill dat kid!" Toji exclaimed trying to force his voice out of the squeaky pitch it had taken after his injury.

"I assume you mean Shinji."

"Yeah him, I'm gonna kill em!" Toji replied his reddened face still wrought with a pained expression.

"I wouldn't touch him unless you want everyone to know you were defeated by a girl. No one saw you fall, but I can certainly bring everyone's attention this way if you like" Rei said as she cupped her hands over her mouth as if in preparation to yell.

"No!" Toji peeped.

"Then leave him alone" Rei said as she stood up and walked away leaving him on the ground in the fetal position.

She walked toward the stands where the students were seated and began the hunt for Shinji. She didn't have to search long however as Asuka wearing a bright red windbreaker ran past her with a horrified Shinji in toe.

"Ayanami!" Shinji yelled as he past her.

"Well that was strange" Rei said aloud as she turned and watched as Shinji tripped over his feet brining Asuka down with him.

"Idiot get up!" Asuka yelled as she brought Shinji to his feet and continued running until they were obscured from view.

* * *

Shinji tripped two more times before Asuka stopped running. They were both out of breath and panting like dogs. Asuka lied on her back in the soft grass and spread her arms and legs out. Still breathing heavily she looked at Shinji with a mischievous smile. "That was some fun huh?" 

"Fun? That wasn't fun that was ridiculous. That guy was going to kill me. Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" Shinji said obviously perturbed.

"I…I don't have a boyfriend. Toji thinks that we are together but I swear I'm not with anyone Shinji." Asuka explained as she brought herself up on her knees. "That is unless you were planning on asking me out soon." Asuka grinned expectantly.

Ignoring her question Shinji asked "Where is Ayanami?"

"What is it with you and her? Am I so repulsive that you can't spend five minutes with me without brining up that freak?" Asuka retorted angrily. Her face softened and her voice became almost whimpering as she said, "Shinji if you hate me so much I'll just leave you alone."

"I…I don't hate you. I just don't like being around a lot of people." Shinji said as he sat down in the grass and brought his knees up to his chest. "I talk to Rei because she's always alone and I'm more comfortable around her."

"So you're on a first name basis with her as well. How far have you two gotten?" Asuka asked spitefully.

Shinji responded with an angered look.

"I…I'm sorry Shinji. I'm just jealous I suppose."

"There's nothing to be jealous of. Rei doesn't really like me, she only tolerates me. I'm like some kind of science project to her." Shinji explained as he softly rocked himself back and forth. "Why do you even care Asuka, you can have any guy you want."

She watched as a red and black ladybug crawled onto her finger. As she brought her hand to her face to inspect the insect it flew from her finger to the tip of her nose causing her to let out a slight squeal. She swiped the bug away rather violently and saw that Shinji was smiling at her. "I care because no one here knows the real me. I'm tired of lying. I figured if we got to know each other then maybe you would actually see who I really am and not who my reputation makes me out to be."

"Who are you lying to?" Shinji asked.

"Everyone, my friends, the guys I talk to, the teachers, everyone." Asuka answered as she diverted her eyes from his.

"What is it you're lying about?" Shinji asked as he looked up at the starless night sky.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just tired of it." Asuka said as she rolled on her side and faced away from Shinji.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I suppose." Asuka answered with her back still towards him.

"Why is it that you and Rei hate each other so much?"

"You just can't stop talking about her can you!" Asuka exclaimed as she got up and threw Shinji's jacket to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He said as he started rocking himself again.

"Whatever I'm out of here." She began as she started walking away. She had only gotten a short distance when she turned and saw that Shinji was still in the same place with his head down. "You're not even going to try and chase me are you? I get the point Shinji, I won't bother you anymore." Asuka said as she hurriedly blinked away the small tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Do…don't leave me." Shinji whispered only barely audible enough for Asuka to hear. "I don't wanna be alone."

Asuka sat down beside him and put his jacket back on. "Your jacket smells nice." She said in a failed attempt to get him to smile. "Hey, its okay I'm not mad anymore." She placed a hand on his shoulder but retracted it quickly as he jerked his body. "What's wrong Shinji?"

"I…I'm messed up Asuka. I'm messed up bad." Shinji explained without looking up.

"What do you mean messed up?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'm not even sure what the problem is. But something is definitely wrong with me."

"Shinji lets make a deal. How about we start fresh? Let's not worry about what's happened in the past and not worry about what people say about us behind our backs. Let's only believe what we see in each other from this point on. Maybe some day we can tell each other what our problems are, but for right now let's just start out by being friends. I promise I won't lie to you like I do everyone else. I'll show you the real me."

"How can I be your friend when I can't be completely sure who I am? Asuka, you don't want to be close to me, you'll only get hurt. I don't wanna cause you any pain.

"Idiot, we are gonna be friends whether you like it or not!" Asuka said as she shoved him "I don't care what psychoanalytical excuses you come up with."

He got up and pushed her back playfully. She was off balance and tipped over but as she fell she grabbed his arms and he fell on top of her.

"Pervert! Get off me!" She said with a smile as she teasingly tried to free herself. "Help! He's having impure thoughts I can see it in his eyes!"

"If you want me to get off of you then how about letting go of my arms." Shinji said with a grin.

She looked into his eyes, the playful expression gone from her face. "Shinji please, let's be friends. We can start fresh. Don't tell me no, I could use a real friend."

"Start fresh? I…I think that's a good idea." Shinji said offering his hand. "I'm Shinji Ikari, nice to meet you."

"I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu, the pleasure is all mine." She said with a toothy grin.

* * *

As she did every morning Rei woke up and lay in bed refusing to leave the comfort of her blanket and pillows. She usually used this time to daydream. However today her mind was on what had happened the night before. She was worried for Shinji. Worried that the arrangement she had worked out with Toji might not last the day. She had bought him time, she hadn't figured out a solution for his problem. It would have been better to let Toji fight him at the game, at least then it would be over and done with. Unless she could figure something out Shinji would be in deep trouble. Toji had the entire night to sit and stew about his humiliation so now he would be out for blood. Rei couldn't figure out how she was going to help him, she couldn't even get herself out of a similar situation with Asuka. _Why do things always have to come to violence? It doesn't take a genius intellect to understand that trivial things like this aren't worth the trouble. _

Rei wasn't a pacifist. She understood that the ultimate power in the world was violence, the power to force people to do what you want. She just couldn't comprehend why people her age felt it so necessary to omit all the preliminaries and just skip right to fighting. It didn't make sense.

Unable to think of anything other than Shinji's problem she forced herself out of bed and began to get dressed for school. She put her socks on first and then walked to her closet to pick out what she was going to wear. After standing there for a while she was still unsure of what to put on. It had never taken her this long to get dressed before. She was starting to get chilly, wearing only socks and underwear. _Am I actually trying to impress him?_ The more she thought about it, the more she didn't mind. She was in high school after all. It wouldn't kill her to act like a regular girl every now and again. After more deliberation she finally settled on a burgundy sweater with a white button up shirt underneath. Rei walked over to her mirror and fixed the collar so that it protruded slightly from the neck of the sweater. After slipping on a grey skirt she took her contacts out and put on her thin framed black eyeglasses. _I look rather collegiate_, she thought to herself with a smile.

* * *

Rei had been waiting for Shinji outside her apartment building for at least twenty minutes before she gave up and walked hurriedly toward her school. _I wonder if he forgot._ She had made plans with Shinji earlier yesterday to walk to school together but he had stood her up and she was now going to be late if she didn't rush. As she reached the final block before her school she saw Shinji and almost yelled out to him before she saw who he was with. 

She hadn't expected it to hurt this much, seeing him with her. That was the plan after all, to get Shinji together with Asuka so she would leave Rei alone. _Mission accomplished apparently. Why then do I feel like this? I'm actually shaking. _

She stood there on the sidewalk a long while and just watched them walk shoulder to shoulder. _I took his feelings for granted. Now that he isn't following me around anymore, I'm jealous and I miss the attention. Nothing more._

Rei was late for school that day.

End Chapter 4


	5. Reprieve

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 5**

Reprieve

The wise are not wise because they make no mistakes. They are wise because they correct their mistakes as soon as they recognize them.

-Ayanami, Rei

No one bothered to scold her for being tardy to school. The instructors had long since given up trying to control her, much less teach anything. The faculty, especially Misato figured Rei was intelligent enough to teach every one of the classes she was attending.

The bell had already sounded and the students were all seated. Misato had just begun the day's lesson and didn't acknowledge Rei as she walked in and found her desk. Not even the student seemed to pay her any attention. They too assumed she was there only because the law made it so.

Shinji however was unaccustomed to Rei's aloofness and unrestrained behavior. She could tell he was trying to talk to her because he continually glanced at her then back at Misato, apparently waiting for a moment where he could whisper to her without being caught.

"Rei…" Shinji whispered cupping his hands over his mouth. When she didn't respond he leaned toward her desk and tried again, only more loudly "Rei…" Still failing to gain her attention he resorted to tugging on the sleeve of her sweater. However he pulled to hard and the hand she was using to rest her chin on slipped causing her head to bob. She heard Asuka laugh.

"What?" Rei replied, the anger obvious on her face.

"Why were you so late?"

"I overslept." Rei replied turning her gaze to the window. _He really doesn't remember._

"Rei…"

"What!" She exclaimed in as loud a whisper as she could manage.

Shinji was taken back by her aggressive whispering and hesitated before bashfully commenting, "You…you look nice today."

Her eye twitched and she bit her lip. She couldn't think of anything to respond. So instead of talking, she did the next best thing. Rei got up, grabbed her bags and left the classroom leaving Shinji completely astonished. Asuka, who had been watching and listening as best she could was also confused but joyful as nothing good every preceded a teenage girl walking hastily out of a room.

* * *

Rei decided she'd skip the rest of class and read in the school's courtyard. It was beautiful this time of year; the fall wind ensured a constant rain of stunning cherry blossoms. When she arrived at her favorite spot under the lone sakura tree she found it was already inhabited by another troubled looking girl.

"Oh hello Ayanami" Hikari said. If Rei had been an artist of any quality she would have wanted to paint a picture of the petite sixteen year old. Cherry colored blossoms littered her auburn hair and speckled her outfit. Her shoed feet swayed gently in the grass. She had a classic beauty, gentle and pristine. The splendor she added to the scenery contrasted heavily with the sullen look on her young face.

"What are you doing out here Hikari?" Rei asked as she sat down crossed legged.

She smiled shyly as she answered, "I'm on official Class Representative duties"

"So you're skipping class" Rei replied dryly.

"Well I…yes I suppose"

Rei had never been one for idle chit chat and skipped right to the point. "So what's wrong with you?"

The surprised form her face took was proof enough that something was in fact bothering her. Of course as most people did, Hikari lied. "No…nothing at all" She responded brushing a pink petal away from her cheek.

Rei returned a sigh and a matter of fact gaze.

She hugged her books tightly to her chest and averted her gaze to the grass. Her body language was so apparent it was almost sad. _This girl is an open book_, Rei thought. She could tell by the way she unconsciously protected herself by drawing her arms in that she was about to say something sensitive and possible damaging. The way she averted her eyes meant she was embarrassed and possibly ashamed of what she was thinking. Even her feet swayed more quickly meaning she was nervous about trusting Rei.

"Rei, you like boys right?" Hikari asked in such an inquisitive tone that she might have expected either answer.

She pushed the mental image of Shinji out of her mind. This left a vacuum of thinking that was quickly filled as she contemplated Hikari politely asking if she was lesbian. "Who is it that you like?"

"Oh, no one I was just asking."

"You were _just asking_ whether or not I like boys? Since you're not going to tell me I'll inform you of the obvious. There is a boy that you like who doesn't seem to notice you even exist. You've tried everything you can think of to get him to talk to you but nothing seems to work. You're on the verge of giving up, which is exactly what you were thinking about before I walked up and interrupted your self pity party" Rei was still mildly displeased about this morning. "Sorry" She said, humiliated at her own insensitivity.

"H…how could you possibly know?" Hikari now had her knees up to her chest as well. Rei had apparently frightened the poor girl.

"Lucky guess. Toji right?" Rei asked softening her tone.

She nodded in response without questioning Rei's apparent mind reading powers.

_Why didn't I think of this before?_ "I think I can help, if you'll let me"

"I don't wish to inconvenience you" Her head perked up as she answered.

"No trouble at all" Rei said with a small grin. "Do you know where he is right now?"

"Baseball practice until ten and then he has Algebra until eleven thirty and then…" She trailed off as Rei looked at her less as a love sick girl and more as a stalker.

"It'll be done by tomorrow" Rei said as she left Hikari dumbfounded under the sakura tree.

* * *

Rei walked to the baseball field and immediately spotted Toji. He was the one trying to balance a baseball bat on his head. Amid the catcalls she stepped on the field and approached the showboating boy. "Forgive me for interrupting your _practice_, but can I have a word with you?"

"What da hell are you doin here?" Toji said forgetting about the bat on his head and paying for it dearly as it fell and hit him in the knee. To his credit he didn't make a sound, and only let a few tears form in his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you for a moment if you're not to busy beating yourself"

"Just make quick I got a lot a work ta do" Toji said crossing his arms.

"Are you still angry that Asuka likes Shinji?"

"Oy! She don't like em. She wants me, even told me so!"

"How much money did you have to spend before her true feelings surfaced?" Rei asked growing tired of his ego.

"I…dats none of your business!" Toji exclaimed, his face turning red.

"Whatever, I'm sure you could have any girl you wanted. Being the star baseball player and all."

"Yeah, yeah I could. 'Cept you of coarse, you don't like boys"

Ignoring that she had, yet again been called a lesbian she continued goading him. "Well I know of a girl that you can't have. She says she doesn't like you because you're not man enough to talk to her. She's pretty too, trust me, I don't like boys remember"

"Oh yea! Who?"

"I'll only tell you if give me something in return" Rei said.

"You wanna borrow some of me clothes so you can dress like a man?" Toji laughed to himself.

Rei sighed to herself. "I find it somewhat peculiar that you continue bringing up my sexual preference when you and your baseball boyfriends have more homosexual tendencies than I can count on both hands. Especially your friend Kensuke, he has on more makeup than I do"

"It…it's just a joke. Never mind dat, what ya want in return."

"I want you to promise me that you'll leave Shinji alone"

He thought about this a moment and after expending all his mental ability finally agreed. "Who is it?"

"It's Hikari. All you have to do is talk to her a little, I'm sure she'll work out the rest." Rei said wishing she had just a little more patience. She could have handled this situation with more finesse but she was sorely tired of playing matchmaker.

"Hikari huh? I'll have her before the days out" Toji said with a cocky grin.

"We're done here"

* * *

Rei retuned to class just as the student were packing their bags in preparation for the bell to sound. "What did I miss? She asked Shinji.

"We have a project due tomorrow. There's no real guideline other than we have to use this construction paper and make a poster. Oh…and we're partners"

"Who's idea was that?" Rei asked with a tad of scorn in her voice.

"It…it was Misato's" Shinji replied. "I'm sorry"

"If we make plans to see each other after school to work on this assignment are you going to show up or just ditch me again?" Rei had been trying her hardest to not show how mad she was about Shinji forgetting her this morning but she just couldn't help it.

"I…I won't forget. I have to work today so we could meet at my house afterwards if you want" Shinji said still failing to apologize.

_Wonderful, I'll just orient my day around your time schedule_, Rei thought. "Fine"

"**Ikari Shinji please report to the principal's office immediately" **the intercom buzzed.

Rei watched as the boy quickly gathered up his belongings and headed out the door. As soon as he left Asuka walked up and sat beside her.

"Don't get any ideas Ayanami, Shinji is with me now. You should have seen us last night after the game, he was all over me" Asuka said with a devilish grin.

_It was so much easier when I didn't care._ Asuka's comment had actually injured her. Even though Rei knew there was almost no way Shinji had done anything with Asuka there was still sufficient doubt in her mind. _I set out to be his friend, nothing more, what do I care what he does? _She did care though, and Asuka could see it in her face.

"I'm telling you Ayanami, keep your hands to yourself. You pissed Lavi off pretty bad at the game, the only thing holding her back is the deal we made with each other. Think about that while you're with him tonight"

As intimidating as she was attempting to be, Rei could see right through it. She still saw Rei as a major threat to her and Shinji. If she was secure in their relationship Asuka most likely wouldn't feel the need to threaten her like this. That made Rei feel a little bit better.

* * *

Shinji saw the receptionist sitting at her desk filing her nails. She wore a white t-shirt with a picture of a bonsai tree on the chest. Over her shirt she was wearing a little red vest covered with various buttons and stickers. She was young, in her early twenties, very pretty with short black hair that complemented her face and gave her something of a pixie look. "Um…Ms. Ibuki, I'm here to see the principal."

"Go right in Shinji, oh and call me Maya. I haven't even graduated college yet. You say Ms. Ibuki and I look for my mother" she laughed.

Shinji smiled and waved at her before walking through the open door of the office.

There was no one in the office. Only the principal's wooden desk covered with an assortment of feline ornaments. Shinji looked behind him as he heard the door close.

A tall man in a black suit and dark framed sunglasses stepped in without saying a word to him. The man reeked of authority, so much so that he felt the urge to sit down. He had pony tailed hair and looked as if he hadn't shaved in days. Other than that he looked completely professional, almost federal in his demeanor. Before taking a seat himself the man threw a large green binder on the desk. Shinji shifted uncomfortably as the man, who had still said nothing to him began undoing the wire clasp securing the folder. After ruffling through the contents of the binder he finally spoke.

"As you can see we've had our eye on you for some time now Mr. Ikari. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Shinji Ikari, html programmer for a respectable website creation company. You have a social security number, do your homework, and you... help your mother carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias "Sannan" and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not."

Shinji had never been this scared in his entire life. He didn't dare speak or move. He could only listen in fear as the man droned on in his monotone voice.

Removing his sunglasses the man continued, "I'm going to be as forthcoming with you as I can be Mr. Ikari. You are here because we need your help"

"Ca…can I call my mom?"

The man sighed and replaced the darkened frames on his face. "Mr. Ikari you disappoint me. Tell me, what good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?"

"Wha…what are you going to do?" Shinji exclaimed as he began sweating profusely.

"He's not going to do anything Shinji." Ms. Akagi said. Shinji had been so wrapped up in what the man was saying he hadn't even heard her come in. "Is all this really necessary Kaji? You scared him half to death."

Kaji's stone cold demeanor broke into a wide grin. "Oh come on Ritsuko I was only kidding. Okay Shinji here's the real deal, I was wondering if you would help me teach my computer sciences class this semester."

* * *

Shinji still hadn't returned by lunchtime so as usual Rei sat alone. She didn't care however as she was still upset. As mature and intellectual as Rei knew she was, she couldn't quite grasp why Shinji forgetting her this morning made her so mad. She knew he most likely had no mal intent. Still she couldn't get over it. Rei understood that there were basically two ways in which people dealt with their emotions. People that express them are usually the more instinct driven, outgoing types like Asuka. Rei on the other hand controlled her feelings, depended on logic more than impulse and was nothing if not an introverted thinker. Rei and Asuka were polar opposites. She understood, in depth the psychology behind what she was feeling, but it didn't help. Rei knew that Shinji didn't mean to harm her, therefore he should be forgiven. The urge to pout and be bitter was overpowering however.

"Hello Ayanami" Shinji said in a somewhat defeated tone as he sat down at her table.

Rei grunted in response. _I'm acting like a child. _

"A…are you mad at me?" Shinji asked tentatively.

Rei caught her self tapping her fingers rapidly on the table. "Not at all" she spat.

She could see in his expression that the cold shoulder she was giving him had not been unnoticed. "Please…tell me what's wrong." Shinji pleaded

"Nothing" She lied. _I'm such a hypocrite. _"So did you have fun walking to school with _Asuka_ this morning?" _Damn it_, Rei thought. She couldn't stop herself. She was dying to say something.

"Oh yeah, it was great she's really funny. Like on the way to school she…" Shinji stopped speaking when he saw that Rei's fists were clenched. "Uh…what…"

Rei wouldn't say that she was fluent in English. She did however know a few select phrases and by the time she was done she had used every bit of Americanized profanity she could think of.

Shinji of course didn't speak anything other than Japanese and just sat there completely confused. "What?"

After collecting herself Rei grabbed her books and left the table. "I'll be there at seven Ikari." Rei couldn't believe how much better she felt. _Perhaps its better to just feel what you're going to feel and move on_, Rei thought.

* * *

After getting over the initial shock of seeing Shinji's mother again Rei was let in and Shinji was called down from his room.

"Oh hello Rei" Gendo greeted her as he walked in the room.

Before she could answer she and Misses Ikari sneezed.

"Excuse me" They said in unison looking at each other with more disbelief.

"Sorry Yui I was playing with the neighbor's cat earlier and…Rei are you allergic to cats as well?" Mr. Ikari questioned scratching his beard.

"Apparently so" Rei replied wiping at her eyes which had began to itch as soon as Shinji's father walked in.

Ikari's father laughed to himself. "Rei, Shinji tells me you're something of a philosopher. Have you ever read anything on the nets by a man named Zero?"

"I've read a few essays. Also I think that Zero is a woman, Mr. Ikari."

"A woman, are you sure?" Gendo asked.

"Pretty sure"

"Have you seen her latest report on the ethics of globalization. It's brilliant."

"Dad leave her alone. Come on up Rei" Shinji called out from the balcony.

* * *

Rei suspected Shinji's room was like any other average high school boy's, only much larger. He had posters of various American and Japanese bands taped to his walls. There was a large stack of graphic novels sitting by his bed. A few brightly colored model robots hung from his ceiling and lined his dresser. He even had a cello sitting in the middle of his room.

"You play." Rei stated staring at the beautiful instrument.

"Yeah a little" Shinji replied.

"That's amazing" Rei loved classical music. It's what she listened to when she was typing her reports. She especially favored Beethoven's Ode to Joy.

"Rei…I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't forget you. I just figured you would rather walk by yourself anyway. I know I've been kind of a pain following you around all the time. I just thought you'd rather be alone. I'm sorry Misato put us together, I even tried to refuse but she wouldn't hear it"

"Wh…why wouldn't you want us to work together?" Rei asked, hurt that Shinji had tried to break their pairing.

"Because I knew that you were mad at me about something and I didn't want you to hate me anymore than you already do" Shinji desolately replied.

After Shinji's heartfelt apology, Rei had trouble remembering what she was mad about in the first place. "Shinji I…I'm your friend. I don't hate you at all. You're right I was mad this morning. I was hurt that you ditched me for Asuka. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions however, that was my fault" Once proven wrong Rei had no problem admitting it and apologizing. She thought this was one of her better qualities as it showed maturity.

"Friends?" Shinji said offering a bashful smile.

"Friends"

"I hope you don't mind me saying it again but, you really do look pretty today"

She used one of her books to cover how red she was turning. She couldn't force away the gigantic smile that had grown on her face after his compliment. "You…embarrass me" She felt the urge to hug him, he had made her day. With a few simple words he had washed away everything negative she felt.

"Rei, you're blushing" Shinji said taking Rei book's away from her.

"Yes" She felt how warm her face was as she covered her blushing cheeks with her hands. "Girls tend to do that on occasion. Can we get started on the project? My cheeks are starting to ache"

After deliberating for over an hour they finally decided on the topic of their assignment. Rei would compose a paper on the pros and cons of religion in the modern world. Shinji would occupy himself by cutting out pictures and gluing them to the construction paper Misato had given them.

Rei had practically buried herself in the books she had brought. As always before writing anything she did massive amounts of research. After studying for what seemed like hours she caught herself falling asleep and decided to move to a more uncomfortable position next to the wall. She saw that Shinji was still cutting away at his pictures. They hadn't spoken since they started the project. He was involved with his pictures and she was involved with her studying, neither of them interrupted the other. Before finally succumbing to sleep she smiled to herself as she thought about how hard of a worker he was.

She awoke to the sound of Shinji stirring, the lights had been turned off so she couldn't tell exactly what he was doing but she could make out the outline of his form. Her watch alerted her that it was almost three in the morning. Rei watched as he walked toward her carrying a blanket of some kind. As he approached she quickly shut her eyes and acted as if she was sleeping. She felt him take the book she was reading out of her hand and place the blanket over top of her. He even went so far as to put a tiny pillow behind her head. As soon as he walked away she opened her eyes and watched him walk over to his bed and just stand there as if deciding whether or not to lie down. After making his decision he walked over to the opposite wall and knelt up against it, dropping his head as if he was going to sleep. _Why didn't he just sleep in his bed? _Rei thought to herself. No one had ever gone through this much trouble for her before. Without contemplating the situation anymore she got up and carried the blanket over to where Shinji was sitting.

"Ayanami?" Shinji whispered.

As she sat down next to him she threw half the blanket over his body. "Goodnight Shinji" She whispered before putting her head on his shoulder and falling asleep.

End Chapter 5


	6. Tribulation

**In the Mind of A Child Chapter 6**

Tribulation

To another abyss, to no avail, the search is bound to fail. To another abyss, to no avail, so long ago I set sail. And it chills me to the bone that I'm so far away from home. And I'm struggling on the way. And I'm waiting for the day. And I'm looking for a way back home. To another abyss.

A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

_My back hurts_, Rei thought upon awakening. She opened her eyes and noticed that she and Shinji were still propped up against the wall. The lights in the room were still off; however a small amount of ambient light crept through the shutters on his window. Their supplies were strewn across the floor. Her books lay open, tossed in the middle of the room. Rei noticed that Shinji had the foresight to throw his scissors on his bed. 

He was still sleeping peacefully with his head on her shoulder. She looked at him and smiled. With her hand Rei reached over and removed a few stray hairs from his face. _We haven't even been on a date yet. I just skipped everything and went straight to spending the night in his room_, Rei chuckled to herself. "Shinji" Rei said as she gently brushed the backside of her hand on his cheek. "Shinji" Rei tried again as a smile grew on her face.

"Mmm." He replied as he rolled to his left and placed his arm across Rei's abdomen.

Her cheeks started to ache again. She had never smiled this much in her life. As she glanced at her watch Rei whispered, "Well we have a little time left Shinji I guess you can sleep for a while longer" After laying her arm across his shoulder she leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Rei, wake up" A soft feminine voice said

She opened her eyes to Misses Ikari kneeling in front of her holding a pot and a wooden spatula. Rei was immediately embarrassed at the compromising situation she was in. Misses Ikari must have noticed that Rei was uncomfortable because she smiled and assured her that nothing was wrong. "Rei I need to wake Shinji up now so you might wish to move. Don't worry you wont wake him by getting up I promise"

Rei moved Shinji's arm away from her and slid out laying him face first on the floor. His mother was right, he didn't even stir.

She watched as Shinji's mother knelt down beside him and yelled, "Shinji wake up!" With that she began banging noisily on the metal pot. "Shinji get up! Get up son, don't make me get your father!"

"Mmm" He groggily mumbled. "Okay mom I'm up geez, calm down" He said wiping the sleep away from his eyes.

After Shinji was awake his mother's pristine demeanor returned and she walked happily toward the door stopping only to alert them that breakfast would be ready soon.

The two teenagers sat there and said nothing. It seemed to Rei that they were afraid to even look at each other. _What's wrong with us, shouldn't we be closer now?_ _Why is it I can't bring myself to speak?_

"Rei, is something wrong?" Shinji asked.

"Oh…nothing I guess. I just…how did you sleep?" Rei said with a grin.

Shinji blushed as he said, "My back hurts, but I've never slept so soundly in my entire life."

"Thank you for caring enough to put a blanket on me last night" Rei said as she averted her eyes.

"Thank you for…everything" Shinji replied.

"I tried waking you up. I've never seen someone sleep so deeply before" Rei stated with a grin as she playfully kicked at him with her socked feet.

"I couldn't help it, you're so soft I didn't wanna wake up" He replied and watched her turn red and leave the room.

* * *

"Rei, please have a seat. Don't be polite, eat as much as you want" Shinji's mother offered. "Shinji, be a gentleman and pull her chair out for her."

He did as he was told and Rei rewarded him with a bashful smile.

"Don't worry kids I made Shinji's father promise not to say anything about last night, so just relax. We know nothing happened, it's the sweetest thing I've seen in a long time" Shinji's mother said as she took a sip of her morning coffee.

Shinji's father grunted in response. Rei watched as he continuously stared at his son grinning from ear to ear. He didn't need to say anything to get his point across, the look he was giving Shinji was enough.

"Honey stop it, you're confusing Rei" Misses Ikari said.

"I'm not doing anything Yui, leave me alone" Mr. Ikari replied jovially. "You know I'm sure this diet you have me on is a good idea but this is ridiculous. The penguin gets more breakfast than I do" He said using his fork to pick at his plate.

"Penguin?" Rei questioned.

"Yeah, his name is PenPen, he's a rare hot water penguin, he should be eating now, I don't know where his" Shinji answered searching for the animal.

"Waark!"

"Ow!" Rei jumped as a slight pain ran up her leg. Her knee hit the table causing the dishes to clatter nosily.

"Wark!" The black and white penguin answered as it hobbled its way out from under the table.

"PenPen no!" Misses Ikari scolded. "Don't worry Rei, he bites me too"

_Why doesn't that surprised me?_

"Hey Dad, I have a surprise for you. I know who Zero is." Shinji said with a victorious grin.

Rei froze unable to move. There was a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. No one was supposed to know that she was Zero. _Why wouldn't he tell me first if he knew it was me? _

"You're never going to believe who it is"

"Son how many sites did you have to hack to get this information?" Gendo replied in an exasperated tone.

"Only two Dad, come on, don't you wanna know?"

"Fine"

"It's my Home Ec teacher Ms. Misato. I _researched _the site's user database and found out what bank, routing number, and account number Zero's pay was being sent to. It's sent to a savings account registered to Misato Katsuragi. I looked at the transaction report and found that she uses the same ATM every single time she withdraws money. What's strange is Ms. Misato has the money from her teaching job deposited into a checking account. She pays all her bills with that account and doesn't touch the money from the online job accept to withdraw it from that ATM. There's something there that I'm not seeing. It's also strange because Ms. Katsuragi doesn't seem smart enough to write the things Zero writes"

"Off the record, good investigative work son. On the record I should ground you for hacking again. You could go to jail Shinji"

"Not really, I checked on some things before I did anything really illegal. The philosophy website has a contract that requires two servers containing the crystal technology your company produces. Also Mom is installing the EVA software she created at the bank whose site I hacked. Either way I'm covered" Shinji said with a confident smile on his face.

"Don't get cocky Shinji, you've been caught once before"

_Who is this guy? _Rei thought and found that she was strangely attracted to him again. _This isn't a switched personality but it's definitely getting closer to the Shinji that only appears at work. Computers seem to be the trigger. _

* * *

"Rei is it okay that you're going to school in what you wore yesterday?" Shinji asked.

"You know you're probably right, it'll only give Asuka something to complain about"

Shinji laughed uncomfortably and watched as Rei removed her sweater revealing a plain white button up shirt. She undid the top two buttons of her shirt exposing a small amount of skin. Nothing remotely seductive but enough to make Shinji blush, she also undid the buttons closing the cuffs of her shirt.

"Well, what do you think?" Rei asked with a grin as she did a little spin. _It's kind of liberating acting like this for him. _Rei knew she was somewhat fishing for a complement with her last question but she didn't care.

The blush on his face was compliment enough. "Come on Shinji lets go. You know once we get to school you can't keep staring at me like that" Rei never could have imagined how good it felt to have someone adore her as Shinji apparently did. The attention she was getting made her feel better than she had ever felt before. She felt beautiful. She had always been praised for her intelligence. So much so that she hardly paid attention to the compliments she received anymore. This was the first time she had actually received attention for being attractive. It was on a completely different level than being told she was smart.

Shinji was walking beside her doing his best to look at her out of the corner of his eye without getting caught. Rei contemplated trying to hold his hand, she felt that it wouldn't be moving too fast since they had already spent the night together. She wanted him to put his arm around her, wanted him to hold her, she couldn't get enough of this new feeling she didn't even know existed. _Am I in love?_ She couldn't believe how ignorant she was, how for sixteen years she had been devoid of what she was feeling right now. Of course she knew that as long as these feelings stayed in her head she was safe. No emotional harm could come to her. The hard part would come when she confessed how she felt.

Her train of thought was suddenly interrupted when Shinji grabbed her hand. The surprise was equal to the joy she felt. "Shinji, don't hold on so tight. Shinji you're hurting me!" He had her hand gripped so tight she thought it would break.

"Rei…" Shinji mumbled

She turned around to look at him and was horrified to see that his face was twisted in pain. He let go of her hand and fell to the ground shaking violently.

"Shinji! Someone help!" Rei screamed as she watched her friend convulse.

"Oh my God Ayanami what's happening?" Asuka yelled as she came running up with her gang in tow.

"I…I don't know he just fell down" Rei replied, the fear evident in her voice.

Sakura pushed past the group of girls and immediately took charge of the situation. "Kaname, take his back pack off and make sure there's nothing around him he can hurt himself with. Asuka get down by his head and try and control how much his neck moves. Lavi, get on top of him and do your best to hold him down. Shinobu call an ambulance. Rei, how long has he been convulsing…Rei!"

"I...about five minutes before you got here"

"Do Shinji's parents live very far from here?" Sakura demanded.

"No, they live right up the road" Rei replied unable to take her eyes away from Shinji.

"Good, go run and tell them what's happening"

"Sakura…I can't hold him!" Lavi exclaimed as she was thrown from Shinji to the ground.

"Shinji stop, please stop!" Asuka begged.

Suddenly his body calmed as if in compliance with Asuka's pleading. He lay on the ground covered in sweat breathing heavily.

"Sakura the ambulance is on its way" Shinobu said, her eyes red from crying.

* * *

"Rei catch your breath and tell me what happened" Misses Ikari said putting a hand on Rei's heaving shoulder.

Rei was bent down with her on her knees trying desperately to catch her breath. "It's…it's Shinji. He's having a seizure"

"Again" Misses Ikari said barely loud enough for Rei to hear. She dropped her newspaper and ran back into the house. She quickly returned with the keys to her car. "Come on Rei lets go"

"Ri…right" Rei said as she ran to catch up to Shinji's mother.

After they were seated in the car Misses Ikari handed Rei her cell phone and instructed her to call a number that would get her through to Shinji's father. "Just ask for Gendo and tell him to meet us at the hospital"

Rei did as she was told, but dropped the phone as she was thrown into the passenger door by Misses Ikari's irate driving. After she fastened her seatbelt she retrieved the phone from the floor. "Mr. Ikari, this is Rei. Shinji has had a seizure and he's being taken to the hospital. Misses Ikari wishes for you to meet us there"

"I'm on my way"

* * *

Rei and Misses Ikari arrived in just enough time to see Shinji being loaded onto a gurney and pushed into the awaiting ambulance. Shinji's mother pulled the car to a screeching halt and exited the vehicle without turning off the ignition. Rei shortly followed after undoing her seat belt.

"Um…ma'am you're going to have to stay back" A young paramedic explained holding up his hands in an attempt to ward her off.

"I'm his mother, get out of my way" Misses Ikari said curtly as she pushed past the EMT and entered the rear of the ambulance. Before she closed the doors she called out to Rei. "I want you to take the car and follow us to the hospital"

It wasn't a request, it was an order, Misses Ikari left no room for interpretation on that. Rei had been driving for only a week and wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of maneuvering the expensive looking German made vehicle through afternoon Tokyo traffic. She nonetheless complied however and began walking toward the car.

"Ayanami, I'm coming with you" Asuka demanded as she walked to the passenger side door.

* * *

Rei had never liked hospitals. The antibacterial smell, the stale recycled oxygen, it was almost overwhelming. She couldn't stand the way the older people looked at her as she went by them. Each one seemed to be begging for attention, some indication that someone still cared. The smug doctors were no better company. The employees here seemed to believe that they were somehow better and more intelligent than the people they treated. Rei could see right through the façade of polite concern.

"Ayanami the receptionist is this way, let's go!" Asuka yelled as she turned a corner.

The two girls reached the desk and tried to get the attention of an overweight secretary who was flirting with a young doctor that was obviously way out of her league.

"Um., excuse me" Rei interrupted. She repeated herself as the receptionist ignored her and continued chatting.

"Just one minute young lady" She said as she turned her attention back to the doctor.

_This is why I hate being a child. If I were anyone else she would have helped me immediately_, Rei thought to herself. "Excuse me do you know where Shinji Ikari is being treated?"

"Miss it's not polite to interrupt, now go take a seat"

Asuka had enough and pushed Rei out of the way. Rei watched as she knocked everything on the lady's desk within her reach to the ground.

"Hey! Didn't you hear her? Where is Shinji Ikari being held? And you, just because you're overpaid and undereducated doesn't give you an excuse to stand around doing nothing" Asuka exclaimed as she turned her attention to the horrified doctor.

After typing the information in her computer the lady scowled as she said, "He's in room one sixteen you little brat"

"That's right this way" Rei said as she ran down the hall.

After arriving at the entrance to Shinji's room Rei took a seat in a small metal chair. "We're not allowed in there Asuka, you can stop pawing at the door"

"I…I just want him to know that I'm here" She replied. A smile grew on her face as she heard the door open. A petite nurse slipped out and closed the door behind her. She was clad in white and spoke with an almost motherly manner.

"You two must be friends of his. I'm really very sorry but only family is allowed in that room. I'm sure you understand"

"Can you at least tell us how he is?" Rei said as she stood up from her chair.

"I'm sorry, I cannot" Without another word she walked away.

Rei flopped down into her seat defeated. Until now she hadn't had time to sort through her emotions. Now she could do nothing else but wait and think about all that had happened. It was more than she could bear. She placed her face in her hands and began to sob softly.

"Here" Asuka said as she offered a box of tissue paper. "I…I don't think I can cry anymore" She said as she looked down at her feet.

Rei hesitantly accepted the box. As she wiped her reddening eyes she tentatively asked, "Does it always hurt this much?"

"Yes" Asuka answered without looking up. She wiped at her face as tears began to form in her eyes again.

They sat in silence for half an hour before Mr. Ikari arrived. He was dressed in his normal business attire but looked nowhere near as collected as he normally did. Shinji's father wouldn't have even acknowledged their presence if Asuka hadn't stopped him.

"Mr. Ikari, will you let Shinji know that I'm here" Asuka asked as she grabbed the sleeve of his suit.

"What's your name?" He replied taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm Asuka, please let him know that I'm here for him"

"I'll tell him" Mr. Ikari replied looking over at Rei. She still had her head down, her shoulders heaved slightly as she silently cried.

* * *

After two hours of waiting Rei's head popped up as she heard the door to Shinji's room being opened. Asuka was already standing up with an expectant smile on her face.

"Excuse me" An older doctor said as he stepped out of the room.

The next person to leave was Shinji's father. He was no longer wearing his jacket, his tie was undone and hung loosely around his neck. His gaze looked almost dangerous. She watched as he walked hurriedly down the hallway.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he violently kicked a small trashcan out of his way, the contents spilling out into the walkway.

When Rei turned around she saw Shinji's mother standing in the doorway. She looked almost normal, other than her eyes, which were pink.

"Is…is Shinji going to be okay?" Asuka asked.

Misses Ikari looked at her and smiled. "He'll be fine" Rei noticed an increase in how rapidly she blinked her eyes, noticed that her fists clenched when she answered, noticed how she wouldn't look Asuka directly in the face when talking to her.

_She's lying_

End Chapter 6


	7. Paradox

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 7**

Paradox

Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights.

-Ayanami, Rei

* * *

"Mrs. Ikari, can we see Shinji?" Rei asked.

"I would appreciate that very much. He asked for you." Mrs. Ikari replied offering a weak smile.

"He…he did?" Rei felt childish worrying about petty things like a boy's attention when there were more dire circumstances to be considered. She couldn't help it though; her heart fluttered slightly when she heard that Shinji had asked for her.

"Did he ask for me too?" Asuka questioned happily.

"Oh, I'm sure he did dear, please go right in." Shinji's mother explained.

Rei watched as Asuka gleefully skipped into Shinji's room. Asuka's sunny disposition seemed to illuminate the entire area. She was radiant. Her demeanor had completely changed from earlier. Rei suspected Asuka was concealing her own feelings of concern to put on her best face for Shinji. _Admirable_, Rei thought to herself. The obnoxious Red Head may have been a pain to her, but to Shinji she was gentle and affectionate. As sullen as he looked when they entered the room he seemed to brighten up when Asuka smiled at him. Now that she thought about it, Rei honestly couldn't say why she would be a better choice for Shinji. Asuka was at least open with her feelings. She would have no trouble confessing to him. To Rei on the other hand, confessing would be an almost insurmountable obstacle. That would place her feelings at his feet, completely opening herself up. When the time came for her to tell him how she felt, she knew it would require far more trust than she had ever placed in anyone. Rei couldn't grasp how Asuka could be so open with how she felt, didn't she understand that she easily be taken advantage of?

"How are you feeling Shinji?" Asuka asked as she leaned over and gave him a hug.

"I feel fine, I don't know what all the fuss is about" Shinji replied as he sat up in the bed

Asuka flashed Rei a worried look then returned her gaze to Shinji. "Well you had me worried to death!" She replied with her hands on her hips and a mock angered look on her face.

Rei felt a pang of jealously as she watched the two converse. She wanted desperately to interrupt, to somehow win his attention. She felt that the only person she ever cared for was being stolen from her as she watched. She couldn't reason herself into trying harder because she believe that Asuka would be just as good for him, if not better. Instead of joining in the conversation she stood in the middle of the room with her hands behind her back. She felt like she wasn't part of that group, like she didn't belong in the room, she almost felt like she was eavesdropping.

"That hospital gown looks good on you" Asuka stated as she teasingly tried to take away the blanket Shinji was covering himself with. "Hey Shinji, are you thirsty?"

"Um…I don't wanna trouble you" Shinji replied pulling the sheets up to his chin.

"Oh, don't worry it's no trouble at all. Hey Ayanami, will you go get Shinji and me a soda?" Asuka said turning her attention to Rei.

_I might as well, I'm not doing any good here_, Rei thought. She almost turned around and left before she saw Shinji staring at her. She got the feeling he didn't want her to leave. "I…I'm not your maid Asuka, if you want something to drink go get it yourself" Rei said without taking her eyes from Shinji.

"Fine, if you're going to be so self-centered then I'll go get our drinks!" Asuka exclaimed as she stormed out of the room, making an attempt to slam the door on her way out but failing due to the hydraulic closing mechanism.

After Asuka had left Rei took a few timid steps toward the bed. She saw that Shinji was a bit more pale than usual. He also had a small bandage from where he had fell and scraped his arm. "I'm glad you're feeling better" Rei said making an attempt to hide how worried she actually was. Aside from the way his parents were acting she knew that a seizure could only lead to more intense medical problems.

"Thank you for staying with me Rei. It really means a lot" Shinji said as he hesitantly reached for her hand. "I'm sorry for hurting you earlier" He explained as he placed her hand on his cheek and closed his eyes.

She was glad his eyes were closed. It would be embarrassing for him to see how much she was blushing. She was so nervous she thought he would surely hear her heart beating through her chest. Apparently he heard nothing as he kept his eyes shut. _So this is how it feels_, Rei thought to herself as she used her other hand to run her fingers through his hair. "You know you really did have us worried" Rei said in an almost whisper.

"I…I know, I'm sorry" Shinji replied.

Rei felt something warm drip on the hand Shinji held. His head was in such a way that she couldn't see his face. "Sh…Shinji what's wrong?" When he didn't answer she sat down on the bed and repeated herself. Instead of answering he wrapped his arms around her and put his head on her shoulder. _It's not supposed to be like this_, Rei thought. "Shinji please tell me" She said as she returned his embrace.

"Please don't make me tell you. Please don't ask me that" Shinji replied.

Rei's heart was being twisted in ways she didn't think possible. She should be happy he was expressing this much feeling, that he was being this affectionate. The context was skewed however and she had never felt this sad in her entire life.

"Rei will you promise me something?" Shinji asked looking at her with tear stained eyes. "Will you promise me that after today things can go back to normal? Promise me that you won't treat me any differently because you know that I'm…sick"

"I…I promise" Rei replied trying as best she could to hold back her own tears that were brimming her eyelids waiting to escape down her pale cheeks. "When can you come back to school?" Rei asked trying to change the conversation to a lighter subject.

"The doctors said I could go back today if I wanted." Shinji answered still holding her hand. Rei bit her lip as she watched him play with her fingers.

_I wonder if he knows how giddy he's making me. _"You…you're helping Mr. Kaji teach his computer sciences class today aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's why I wanna go back to class. Actually I had better get ready if I'm going to make it" Shinji said as he checked his watch.

"I'll go wait outside then" Rei replied and made her way to the door. As she exited the room she saw Asuka walking up with a soda in each hand. "He's changing" Rei said as she closed the door behind her.

"He's coming back to school?" Asuka asked excitedly.

"Yes, he's coming back in time to help teach a class" Rei replied holding her position in front of the door incase Asuka decided on trying to go in.

"I assume you three are going to walk to school from here then?" Ms. Ikari asked from her seat. "In that case would you mind if I had my car keys back?" She said with a smile.

Rei reached in her pocket and retrieved Ms. Ikari's keys. Before she handed them to her Mr. Ikari walked up looking more sociable than he did before. His hair was fixed, and his jacket was buttoned like always. Rei still felt slightly uncomfortable around him and shrunk back against the door as he passed her. He seemed to notice her uneasiness and bowed in apology for his earlier outburst.

"Mr. Ikari, what's wrong with Shinji?" Asuka asked, the look of concern returned to her face.

Mr. Ikari removed his glasses and stroked his beard lightly. He looked at his wife as if they were silently deciding whether or not to say. "He…he's epileptic. It's a rather complicated condition so the doctors aren't totally sure how serious his case is. Anything further than that and the doctors are just speculating"

_So he knows more than he's telling us_, Rei thought. His answer seemed to satisfy Asuka though as she simply nodded in response. Rei was interrupted from her train of thought as the door she was leaning on opened and she fell backward into Shinji. She blushed as he gently took her shoulders and straightened her back up.

"Are you guys ready?" Shinji jovially asked.

His attitude surprised everyone, especially Rei who had seen him sobbing not five minutes ago. She was happy he was in a better mood however and flashed him a small grin in response to his question. Asuka took it a step further as she walked up and took his hand.

"Let's go Shinji" The Red Head said gleefully, swinging hers and his hands back and forth as she dragged him toward the exit.

Rei felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach. The precious moment she had with Shinji in his room seemed so insignificant now that Asuka had one upped her. She was startled when she felt someone put their hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see a smiling Mrs. Ikari.

"Thank you for being there for my son. You mean more to him than you know. Take care of him for me will you?" She said with a wink.

"Ye…yes ma'am" Rei replied with a smile and ran to catch up to Shinji and Asuka.

* * *

"Everyone please take your seats. I have asked Mr. Ikari here to help me instruct this class. Please, in this class at least, treat him with the same respect you would me. I assure you his knowledge in this subject rivals my own" Kaji said eyeing Shinji who was busy writing numbers on the black board. "Today we will continue converting binary numbers to decimal numbers and vice versa. We will be working in groups today so just partner up with the person next to you"

_Of course_, Rei thought as she looked at her would be partner. Asuka sat at her desk copying the table Shinji was writing on the board. When she noticed she was being watched she stuck out her tongue and returned to her note taking. Rei didn't bother taking down notes even though the class was told it would be necessary for the assignment. She always winged things like this, not because she was particularly good at it, but because she lacked the interest required to put pencil to paper.

"Shinji will you work with Shinobu, she's having a little trouble and I'm sure she'd appreciate the help" Kaji said as he began making his rounds through the classroom.

"Um…sure" Shinji replied as he walked toward Shinobu's desk and took a seat.

She smiled at him bashfully and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, just a little hungry I haven't eaten all day" Shinji replied.

"Oh, well you can have some of these cookies I made. They probably aren't very good" Shinobu explained as she retrieved a small bag from her backpack and handed it to Shinji.

"What do you mean? These are great!" Shinji exclaimed after taking a bite out of a small cookie..

Shinobu giggled to herself and motioned that Shinji had crumbs on his face.

"Thank you for the cookies and…for helping me earlier today"

"Oh I didn't do anything special, I just called the ambulance. You should thank Sakura, she's the one that told everyone what to do" She replied modestly. "You…you must really know a lot about computers if Mr. Kaji is asking you to help teach the class"

"I guess you could say that, Kaji heard that I worked at Capsule Corp. and asked if I would help him out"

"You work with Keitaro Urashima then?" Shinobu asked excitedly pushing her azure colored hair out of her eyes.

"I…yes I do. How do you know him?" Shinji asked surprised at her sudden interest.

"He used to go to school here. We were friends until he graduated. I think he's forgotten all about me now though" She laughed nervously and looked away.

"If you two were friends I'm sure he hasn't forgotten about you"

"You think so? He was really sweet to me when he was here" She said as she brightly blushed.

* * *

"What do you suppose they're talking about over there?" Asuka asked making no attempt to hide that she was staring at Shinji. She leaned so far over Rei's desk that she had to sit back in her chair to keep from pushing Asuka over.

"How should I know?" Rei said bluntly as she turned in her seat and looked at the conversions they were responsible for completing. "Why are you even worried, isn't she one of your lackeys?" She replied biting her pencil.

Asuka returned to her desk and crossed her arms. "You mean to tell me that you're not even slightly jealous that he's over there flirting with Shinobu right now?" She asked with a grin.

"No" Rei replied as she cast a sideways glance as Shinji. "Let's finish this assignment and then you can stalk him all you want" Rei was still figuring out the first problem when Asuka stole the paper from her.

"Why are you worried about this so much? I thought you were supposed to be super smart, why are you having trouble with this stuff, its child's play" Asuka exclaimed as she began solving the conversions at an intimidating rate.

"I am smart" Rei retorted. "I'm also mildly dyslexic. I have trouble with numbers, especially if they are sequential ones and zeros"

"Wow, and I thought you were perfect" Asuka said sarcastically.

"I never said I was perfect. I just have the ability to read people. Like you for instance, you see the way your writing slants at a downward angle? That means you're in a bad mood, presumably from what happened today. The way you skip so much space on a line before writing also means you're confident, dare I say even obnoxious?"

"Is that so? Well what can you tell me about Shinji and Shinobu?" Asuka replied ignoring that she had just been insulted.

Rei leaned over in her desk to get a better view of the two kids. After watching them for a short time she returned her attention to Asuka. "Okay, you see the way she keeps playing with her hair? She finds him attractive. Neither one will keep eye contact with the other. Shinji keeps looking around like he's embarrassed and Shinobu continuously glances from his eyes to her desk. Shinobu is probably nervous because she knows you like Shinji. He is probably nervous because he knows we are staring at him right now. Both of their legs and arms are also crossed. They aren't comfortable around each other"

"You could tell all that just by looking at them?" Asuka asked dumbfounded.

Rei shrugged, "It's what I'm good at"

"Class, give me your attention for just a moment. I was just informed that the fall dance is being rescheduled to this Saturday. So if you don't have a date already you hade better find one!" Kaji announced.

Asuka and Rei looked at each other in wide eyed shock. They then turned their attention to Shinji who was in turn staring at them with the same amount of astonishment. The girls watched as Shinji put his face in his hands and his head on his desk in exasperation.

* * *

"I'll see you after you get off work" Rei said as she waved good bye to Shinji. Today was Rei's first martial arts class and Shinji had offered to walk her to the dojo on his way to work. As she stepped in the entrance she immediately spotted Sakura.

"All the new students come this way and sit down" Sakura instructed.

Rei did as she was told and took a seat on a blue exercise mat near where Sakura was standing. The other students crowded in closer to her so as to get a better view of the training. The smell of disinfected plastic and body odor was almost too much for her to bear.

"My name is Sakura. I'm an instructor here at the Hidden Leaf Village Dojo! After one week with me you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man" She adjusted the blue cloth bearing the symbol of the school in her hair. "At the Hidden Leaf Dojo we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching you back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today by dressing like Miss Congeniality over here?" Sakura exclaimed while pointing at Rei. "Take a look at what I'm wearing people!" Rei watched as she stretched out her oversized balloon pants. "You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it! Alright, I need a volunteer!"

_Oh Jesus_

"How about you?" Sakura exclaimed pointing at Rei. Sakura eyed Rei like a lioness eyes an antelope as she rose to her feet. "Bow to your Sensei"

Rei did as she was instructed and bowed slightly.

"Bow to your Sensei!" Sakura yelled. After Rei returned a deep bow Sakura continued. "Okay let's say you're on you way home from school and someone attacks you. What do you do?"

"I…"

"You don't know because I haven't told you yet!" Sakura exclaimed. "I want you to grab my arm"

Rei again did as she was instructed and grabbed Sakura left wrist with her right hand.

"The other arm" Sakura explained and watched as Rei used her left hand instead. "MY other arm!" Sakura yelled.

Rei did as she was told and was rewarded with pain as Sakura chopped down on her wrist.

"Just break the hold and walk away" Sakura explained. "Now I want you to hit me with your best shot. Give me everything you got!"

Without a moments hesitation Rei dropped to the ground and delivered what she thought was an excellent sweep. Sakura dodged it easily and slapped her in the back of the head.

"Christ!" Rei exclaimed.

The rest of the day went pretty much the same. Rei left sore and angry feeling like she hadn't learned a thing.

* * *

Meanwhile Asuka had plans of her own. She had decided that Shinji most likely wouldn't have the courage to ask her to the dance. She would have to do it herself.

"Welcome to Capsule Corp.!" A fanatical looking man greeted her as she stepped in the front door of Shinji's office building.

"Um…hi, is Shinji here?" Asuka replied almost gagging from the odor the man's hair gel produced. She watched as he disappeared behind two double doors and beckoned for Shinji.

"He'll be here in no time my crimson tigress." The man said as he lumbered his way back through the doors toward her. "If I might ask a question my doll, how about a night on the town with _this guy?" _The man asked pointing at himself with both thumbs.

"Leave her alone Akira she's only sixteen" Shinji said as he walked through the doors.

"Hey Shinji did you get the memo about the TPS reports?" Akira asked turning around to face Shinji.

"Yes Akira I got the memo and I understand the policy" Shinji answered in a flabbergasted tone.

"Yeah it's just that we're putting coversheets on the reports before they are sent out now, so just make sure you do that from now on alright?" Akira said before he hobbled away.

Shinji sighed to himself before he greeted her. "Hey Asuka what's up?"

"Um…I…are you feeling okay?" Asuka asked perplexed at Shinji's personality switch.

"Yeah, I'm fine babe, what can I help you with?" Shinji replied putting his hands on his hips.

"Babe? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I was actually trying to hide from my boss that's all" Shinji explained.

"Oh…okay, I came to ask you if you wanted to take me to the dance?" Asuka said in her sweetest voice.

"Umm…I don't know how to say this but I've already asked someone Asuka"

"What? You can't be serious. You asked Ayanami didn't you!" Asuka exclaimed trying her best no to show how disappointed she was. "Shinji I thought we were friends!"

"We are Asuka, I just…I have to get back to work I'm sorry"

"Why don't you stop making excuses and just tell me you hate me!"

"I…I don't hate you it's just that…"

"Whatever!" Asuka exclaimed before she stormed out of the building.

* * *

After Shinji had gotten off work he found Rei waiting for him just outside the building. He greeted her happily and began the walk to her apartment

_Just ask him already_, Rei thought to herself as she and Shinji walked down the sidewalk.

"Rei you're walking kind of funny are you okay?" Shinji asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine" Rei replied looking at the bruise she had on her wrist from her _training._ Rei began to get more and more nervous as they neared her apartment. She knew that if she didn't ask him now, she would never get the chance because Asuka was sure to catch him tomorrow. _Ask him._

"You're so quiet tonight Rei" Shinji said with a sadden expression on his face.

"Will you go to the dance with me?" Rei blurted out covering her mouth as soon as she said those words.

Shinji stopped in his tracks and looked at her with surprise. "I…"

"I know it's technically supposed to be the guy that asks but I figured I'd save you the trouble" Rei laughed nervously.

"I've already asked someone Rei, I'm sorry" Shinji replied without looking at her.

Rei felt like she had been hit by a train. She had to work up an incredible amount of courage to ask him and after putting her trust in him, he said no. He actually asked someone else. _Maybe I'm not as special to him as I thought. _Rei didn't know what to say, she didn't want to sound angry, it was completely within his rights to take someone else. "You asked Asuka didn't you?" Rei said. "So we are just friends after all" She whispered. She felt like running away, it was hard to even look at him.

"Rei I…I thought it would be for the best" Shinji desperately explained.

"You thought it would be for the best to ask Asuka instead of me?" Rei replied, a bit of anger in her voice.

"I didn't ask Asuka" Shinji said as he gently grabbed her shoulders. He looked into eyes so intently that she averted her gaze. When she turned her face he leaned forward and gently kissed her cheek. "I…I have to go" Shinji said and ran into the night, leaving Rei stunned with a hand over the place he had kissed her.

End Chapter 7


	8. Cathexis

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 8**

Cathexis

Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what's in his hands. Who walks along the open road of love and life, surviving if he can. Bound with all the weight of all the words I tried to say, chained to all the places that I never wished to stay. As I faced the sun I cast no shadow. When she took my soul she stole my pride. If you take my soul don't steal my pride

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

_My first kiss_, Rei thought to herself as she watched Shinji run into the night, her hand still softly touching her cheek. She had no idea being kissed would have such a significant impact on her. She laughed out loud and skipped through the front door of her apartment building. _I must be mentally ill_, she thought with a smile. After deciding against the elevator she ran the three flights of stairs to her floor and giggled to herself the whole way. When she arrived in her room she leapt onto her bed, took off her socks with her feet and began kicking at her sheets until her bed lay completely disheveled. She even heard her neighbors bang on the wall with a broom. This only served to bring about more laughter from the love struck girl. Once she was finally done with her joyous celebration she had ended up on the floor and was totally out of breath.

Rei did her best not to overanalyze the situation, for once in her life she wanted to actually feel something without worrying about the subliminal implications. He had kissed her, that's all that mattered. She didn't care anymore who he was going to the dance with, she was slightly jealous of course but that only showed that she cared for him. She had decided to trust him. If he kissed her then that meant something. It meant he favored her over other girls, it meant he cared for Rei and Rei alone.

The way Rei saw it, it was all up to her now, Shinji had done the hard part. He had showed the first real sign of affection. He had put himself on the line, it was her turn. All that she had to do now was work up the courage to confess to him exactly how she felt. If there was ever a person she was going to trust it would be him, Shinji Ikari.

After she had halfheartedly remade her bed she decided to change into her nightclothes. She would normally stay up late on Friday night but she was drained, physically and emotionally. Her body still ached from her first martial arts class and running up the stairs hadn't helped the pain in her legs. She flopped down on her bed and spread out her arms and legs, not bothering to use the sheets. Rei blew away an azure colored lock of hair that had fallen in her eyes and sighed to herself that she had gotten in bed with the lights still on. She debated internally about whether or not to get up and finally decided she would eventually cut the lights off if she didn't fall asleep first.

* * *

Rei woke up and sleepily cast her crimson eyes to the stippled ceiling mentally wondering why she was awake already. The sunlight that shown through her window alerted her that it was morning, whatever time is was didn't matter, it was still too early.

_Its cold_, Rei thought to herself as she turned on her side and hugged her pillow. She wondered what Shinji thought about upon awakening. If he thought of her like she was thinking of him. She tried to consider if he would want her to come to the dance tonight. The situation was unfavorable either way. If she went she would have to bear watching Shinji with another girl, she would also run the risk of him thinking that she didn't trust him. If she stayed home she would have to deal with her own insecurities and curiosity. Rei figured that the only real threat to her relationship was Asuka. He had already explained that he wasn't going with her so she convinced herself that she had nothing to worry about.

She sighed to herself as she heard her phone ring. This would be the final push for getting her out of bed. Rei walked to her dresser to cease the incessant ringing and stubbed her toe along the way. Needless to say there was a less than hospitable tone in her voice when she flipped open the phone.

"Yes" She answered curtly. She watched as a small black cat sauntered its way into her window. She couldn't really claim ownership of the feline and she couldn't really call the cat her friend. It had crawled through her window a year ago and visited her on regular occasions for scraps of food. She had tried once to pet the cat but it had scratched her hand in return. Rei didn't even know why she fed the malicious animal. She was convinced that he understood that she was allergic and visited her partly because of that fact.

"Rei…is that you?" The voice nervously replied.

"Wait let me check…yes its me" Rei said as she sat on the floor and began massaging her injured foot. At least the pain in her toe took away from how cold she was in her night gown.

"Do…do you know who this is?"

Before answering in the negative Rei made a point to sigh loudly in the phone. She winced as she heard something glass fall to the ground. When she turned to see what it was, she wasn't particularly surprised to see that her "friend" had found its way onto her tiny kitchen table. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that he was grinning at her.

"It…it's Shinji, are you okay?"

"Shoo!" Rei said as she vainly swatted at the cat. He had jumped off the table and was making his way toward her ready to begin his allergenic assault. "Who did you say this was?" Rei asked as she kicked at the animal and watched as it attached itself to her nightgown.

"It's Shinji"

"Stop Neko!" Rei yelled as the black tabby tore a hole in her nightie. "Shinji?" Rei repeated before sneezing.

"Yeah, I called you once before but you never picked up. I was wondering if you wanted to go to breakfast with me" He questioned.

"I…sure!" Rei replied a bit too energetically.

"I'll meet you at your place in about an hour if that's alright"

"Su…" Rei sneezed a reply and hung up the phone. "I'm not going to feed you if you don't let go" She scolded as her eyes began to water.

"Mao!" The cat replied and unglued itself.

"Why can't you be nice to me?" Rei asked trying to reason with her tormentor. "I feed you and give you a place to sleep when it gets cold, what sense does it make for you to claw my nightgown? Look, Neko, look at this hole. I can't sew, can you sew? You're a cat so I'll answer in your place, no you can't sew. Reason would dictate that if you can't fix something, then don't break it, correct?"

"Mao!" Neko defiantly replied scratching itself behind the ear.

"Because you've been such a little bastard I'm going to make you wait until I finish taking a shower before I feed you. Maybe that way you'll learn" Rei scolded. After she had finished verbally punishing the feline she began the long process of finding what she was going to wear. She figured that if she looked pretty enough for him now, then he would be thinking about her at the dance tonight. She finally decided on a sleeveless, form fitting, black mini dress. The dress's mandarin collar was laced in white and added a slight quasi-religious air. Rei laid the dress neatly on her bed before walking to her bathroom and taking a shower.

When she had finished, she walked into her bedroom garbed in only a towel and found that Neko had decided the best place for a nap was on her dress. "Neko no!" Rei exclaimed as she haphazardly made her way to the bed, her movement restricted by the towel. Before she could yell at the cat anymore she heard a knock at her door. _You have got to be kidding. _

"Who…who is it?" Rei called.

"It's Shinji"

Rei slightly cracked open the door and peaked her towel covered head outside. "You're early Shinji" Rei said as she felt something graze her bare legs.

"Mao" Neko exclaimed as he began scratching at Rei's make shift clothing.

"Neko stop!" The towel covering Rei's head fell to the floor as she slapped at the cat.

"I could wait if you want" Shinji replied.

Rei had never been in this type of situation before and was completely unsure of what she was supposed to do. She couldn't very well let him in while she was unclothed, but she didn't want him waiting outside either. "I…I'm not dressed yet, give me just a minute" Rei said as she scampered away to put her clothes on.

When she returned to the door she found Shinji lovingly holding Neko. The cat purred softly as he lightly stroked its fur.

"I…I like your hair like that" Shinji said with a slight smile.

"It's just damp" Rei modestly replied as she ran her hands through her hair. "If you're done playing with that mangy cat we can go" Rei said tenderly extending a hand to pet the cat in a truce offering and was punished by its claws.

* * *

The weather outside was beautiful. Multicolored leaves littered the sidewalk and whipped in the air creating tiny tornadoes. The sun was still low on the horizon so the temperature was fairly cool. Rei watched as sweat suited joggers ran past heading wherever it was they ran to.

"Where are we going?" Rei asked.

"I figured we could try that new American restaurant up the street a little ways. My mother said they had a really good breakfast menu"

Rei sneezed in response.

"Rei I…I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know how much it took for you to ask me to the dance. I didn't mean to hurt you I just…" Shinji stopped speaking as Rei interrupted him.

"Shinji its okay" She said with a tiny grin as she took his hand. The blush on his face was proof that she had surprised him. He interlocked his fingers with hers and smiled to himself.

* * *

Before they even walked in the door they could smell the food being prepared. They were welcomed by a teenage girl only slightly older than them. She wore her hair in a ponytail and had an apron decorated with various pieces of flair. She lead the two to their seats and assured them that their waitress would arrive shortly.

Shinji chivalrously let Rei sit down first and then took a seat next to her. The thought crossed Rei's mind that she never seemed to be able to use any of her psychology skills when she was with Shinji. If it was anyone else she could read everything from facial expressions to pupil dilation. However when she was with him, she always forgot everything she had learned. She did note that he decided to sit next to her instead of across the table.

"Hello Rei, Shinji" A familiar voice greeted them.

"I didn't know you worked here Hikari" Rei replied giving a little wave.

"I just started; I'm supposed to offer you the specials in English so bear with me if I have trouble pronouncing them. Today, I would like to recommend blue beddie waffus" Hikari stuttered. Before she could continue Rei stopped her.

"I'll take the waffles" Rei said with a smile.

"Uh…yeah I'll have the waffus too" Shinji explained.

"Hikari who is that a picture of?" Rei asked pointing to one of the buttons on the girl's apron.

"It…it's a picture of my boyfriend, Toji" Hikari explained before leaving the table to fulfill their order.

Rei smiled to herself as she felt Shinji take her hand.

"Is this okay?" He questioned, it was obvious he wanted to be more affectionate but he was worried about offending her.

Instead of verbally answering him Rei instead put her head on his shoulder. _This is nice_. The only thing that would improve her situation was if Shinji knew exactly how she felt. She figured the closer they got, the easier it would be for her to tell him. She was happy now just being in his company. "I wonder what Freud would say about a boy that is holding hands with a girl that looks just like his mother" She said with a mischievous grin.

Shinji squeezed her hand playfully. "You look nothing like my mom Rei"

"You're some kind of computer hacker with spilt personalities that likes girls who look his mom. Even with my background in psychology I couldn't even begin to analyze you. You're so weird I don't even know why I'm letting you buy me breakfast" Rei giggled loudly as Shinji began to tickle her relentlessly.

"I'm weird? You're the one that's clairvoyant. And so jealous too, I saw you staring I me and Shinobu!" Shinji teased.

Rei's eyes went wide at having been caught. She didn't have a chance to offer a response as he continued tickling her. She tried in vain to fight back. He reached behind her back with one hand and pulled her closer to him in and effort to avoid getting hit. They were now cheek to cheek and she was laughing uncontrollably. Suddenly he stopped teasing her and turned his tickling into an embrace. Their faces were so close she could feel his breath on her lips. _Kiss me_, Rei thought as she looked longingly into Shinji's eyes.

"Um excuse me" Hikari said.

Rei's first reaction was to sit up straight and proclaim "We weren't doing anything"

"How immoral", Hikari mumbled as she set their plates down and walked hurriedly away.

Shinji snickered to himself. "Look you embarrassed her. You could get us kicked out for trying to kiss me like that"

Rei's jaw dropped and she turned a bright shade of red, "I…I didn't do anything. Wait a minute I'm completely innocent. Don't try and shift the blame to me just because you're embarrassed. You should be ashamed of yourself" Rei explained with a grin.

The exchanged glances and laughed before beginning their meal.

"Have you always lived alone?" Shinji asked between bites.

"Not always, I ran away from the orphanage when I was fourteen" Re replied.

"Why would you want to run away?"

"After school I worked as a maid for the headmaster. One day he sent me out of his office because he was going to have a meeting with someone from the city council. Normally I would have just gone to my room but I stayed back this time because kids had been disappearing and I was curious as to what they were going to do about it" Rei replied as she sipped at her orange juice.

"So what did you hear?" Shinji had stopped eating and was giving her full attention.

"He was planning on sending half of the house to a labor camp. As soon as I heard that I grabbed a change of clothes, told as many kids as I could and left for good" She took Shinji's wide eyed shock as permission to continue, "I lived in the streets for about six months until I met Misato. She took me in, fed me and gave me a place to stay until I could afford to move out"

"You're only sixteen, how could you possibly get an apartment and get into high school all on your own?"

"Technically Misato is my legal guardian, so she took care of everything that required an adult's signature" Rei explained calmly.

"It's amazing you turned out so…normal after all that you've been through"

Rei grinned slightly, "I'm not normal, I'm clairvoyant, remember?"

Shinji laughed uncomfortably and looked away.

Rei smiled at Shinji's concern, "Its okay, I'm not upset. I like the person I became, living alone for so long has made me who I am, so I have nothing to regret"

"I…I've just always been so sheltered, I've never been without anything I needed, or wanted" Shinji explained still refusing to look at her as if he were ashamed at his own upbringing.

"I wouldn't wish what I've gone through on anyone Shinji. You have no idea what I had to do just to survive. Be happy that you have parents that take care of you and provide you a home" Rei interlocked her fingers in his, "Shinji look at me, can we please just change the subject?"

"Are you going to the dance tonight?" Shinji asked finally looking at her.

"No, I don't think so" Rei replied.

"Are you sure you're not going to be angry with me if I go with another girl?" Shinji asked, the concern apparent in his eyes.

"Shinji, it meant something that you kissed me last night, didn't it?" Rei asked, her insecurities surfacing. "If it was nothing, let me know, but I…it was special to me"

"It was special to me too Rei"

"You won't forget that will you? That we shared something special?"

"Of course not" Shinji, replied. "We're just going to a dance, that's all"

"Then promise me" Rei pleaded. "Promise me that we will still have something together when the dance is over"

"I…I promise"

End Chapter 8


	9. Introjections

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 9**

Introjections

Sometimes lies are more dependable than the truth

-Ayanami, Rei

* * *

_It's cold_, she thought to herself as she looked around the darkened room. The sheets lay crumpled on the floor next to her bed. _Why can't he just stay still when he's sleeping?_ Asuka thought as she looked at the boy next to her, he shivered from the cold and brought his knees up to his chest in an attempt to warm up. "Shinji, Shinji wake up" She prodded as she lightly shook him.

"Wha…what happened?" He sleepily asked while rubbing his eyes.

"I…I'm cold" Asuka stuttered and shivered in an over exaggerated attempt to show how uncomfortable to she was.

"Where's the blanket at?" Shinji asked.

"Idiot, you're supposed to offer to warm me up; I am your girlfriend after all!" Asuka exclaimed flicking his nose. "I guess I'll just freeze" Asuka said acting as if she was crying.

"Come on Asuka I was just kidding" He hurriedly explained before he got up to retrieve the blanket he had kicked off the bed in his sleep. "There, is that better?" Shinji asked as he gently laid the bedspread across her trembling form.

"No" Asuka pouted as she crossed her arms and turned on her side facing away from him. She smiled as she felt him wrap his arms around her. He pulled her toward him and hugged her tightly.

"How long are you gonna be mad at me?" Shinji asked as he kissed her bare shoulder.

"As long as I want" Asuka replied still trying to pretend she was angry. She did her best to squirm and squiggle her way out of his grasp, but he securely held her in place. Eventually she stopped fighting and placed her head on his chest. "Okay, I'm not mad anymore" She felt Shinji try and restrain himself from laughing. Her head raised and lowered softly as Shinji deeply inhaled and exhaled.

"Your hair smells nice"

Asuka giggled and lightly hit him in the stomach before placing her arm across his abdomen. "Idiot"

Shortly after, she fell into a deep sleep and was again woken up by Shinji's stirring. "Where are you going?" She lazily asked.

"I've gotta go to work" He said as he tried to get up but failed as Asuka used all her might to keep him in place. "Sweetheart I have to go" Shinji smiled at her as he stood on his knees dragging Asuka, who was still attached to him, up as well. "You do this every morning" Shinji said as he placed a gentle hand on her cheek and grinned. "Will you let me go if I give you a kiss?"

Asuka nodded in response and closed her eyes as Shinji pressed his lips to hers and gently laid her back down to the bed.

* * *

"Asuka, breakfast is ready, hurry before it gets cold"

"Why so early momma!" Asuka exclaimed as she turned on her stomach and put a pillow over her head, trying unsuccessfully to block out the blinding light that had appeared overhead. _It was only a dream_, she thought.

"You're the one that said to wake you up at six, something about a dance" Her mother replied before walking out of the room.

Asuka's eyes shot open and she sprung from bed eager to begin her day. She struggled to put her sweatpants on as her eyes adjusted to the light. After grabbing a small white t-shirt from her closet she ran to the kitchen.

To say that Asuka's kitchen was small would be incorrect. It was the largest room in her house. Asuka's kitchen was cramped. In the middle of the room sat a beautiful, if not oversized, wooden dining table, complete with four chairs that served to only take up room since they never had visitors. In the rightmost corner was their hand me down refrigerator, donated by someone in Asuka's family. The ice machine on the left door didn't work and its color had long since faded from white. Next to the refrigerator was the washing machine with a missing dial that had to be turned by a pair of pliers. Her mother was at the stove preparing their breakfast like she did every morning before she went off to work.

Asuka's mother turned around as she heard her socked feet tramping on the dark green tiled floor. "Good morning sweety, how did you sleep?"

"Okay" Asuka answered, still grumpy at having been woken from her fantasy with Shinji.

"So tell me about this dance. Are you going with a boy?" Her mother asked as she set Asuka's plate in front of her.

"I…sorta" She replied, picking absentmindedly at her food.

"Sorta? Well what are you going to wear?"

"I…I wanted to wear your dress" Asuka hesitantly answered as she watched her mother retrieve a gallon sized jug of orange juice from the refrigerator.

"The red one? It doesn't fit you Asuka. I'm afraid it would drag the ground. It was also damaged when we moved, its torn on the side. I'm sure I could repair it but I have to go to work and I just don't think I would have time honey, I'm sorry." Her mother answered in a disappointed tone.

"I know you have to work mamma, but I was going to fix it. I have everything I need. I got it all from my Home Ec. Class"

"You know we don't have a sewing machine, you'd have to do all the repairs by hand. It would take all day"

"That's why I got up so early!" Asuka replied with a smile.

"Honey, why don't I just give you some money and you can go rent a dress. I don't want you in the house all day, you should be out enjoying the weekend" Her mother replied as she left the table and began searching for her pocket book.

There was no way Asuka could take her money. She was barely getting by as it is, her mother didn't need to spend her hard earned money on something as trivial as a high school dance. "But I wanna fix it myself!" Asuka exclaimed.

Her mother was taken back by Asuka's outburst. She sighed to herself and then smiled. "This boy must be pretty special. I'll go get the dress"

Asuka watched as her mother returned with a red dress wrapped in protective plastic. Before handing it over she studied the garment and silently wondered if she could still fit into something so tiny.

"Thank you momma" Asuka said as she took the dress and ran back to her room.

* * *

Normally Asuka kept her bedroom fairly organized, which wasn't difficult because she didn't really own anything besides clothing. Today however it looked as if a tornado had passed through. There were sheets of fabric scattered over the floor, spools of thread unwound and strung across her bed, scissors and other various sharp objects littering her carpet.

"I can't do this!" Asuka exclaimed after poking her finger again. She had gone through almost all of her fabric and none of it matched the color of her mother's dress. She had barely made progress, the chest still needed to be widened, the waist thinned out, and worst of all the giant hole still needed to be mended. Asuka needed help, but she only knew one girl that could sew and that was Shinobu. _I don't think anyone asked her to the dance,_ Asuka thought to herself. She figured it would be distasteful to ask for help from a girl that was going to sit home all night.

After stabbing her finger yet again Asuka was fed up. She decided to ask her mother for help, she just couldn't do this by herself, it was impossible. She made her way to the back porch and saw her mother sitting quietly on a swing reading. _She built that swing herself,_ Asuka thought. She had done everything by herself. Once her father had left, the responsibility of their survival fell to her mother. She had done it too. Asuka had never gone hungry, never gone without clothing. She took their condemned house and with her bare hands turned it into a home. She was never bitter, never had she taken out her anger on Asuka, like Asuka had so many times done to her. Even when Asuka was completely and utterly belligerent her mother never responded with rage, she simply apologized for being unable to provide Asuka a better life. _Will I ever be like her?_ She thought as she watched her mother slowly swing, her auburn hair billowing behind her in the wind.

"Oh Asuka, how is the dress coming?" Her mother called out lifting her sunglass above her eyes. "Do you want me to take a look at it; I still have some time before I have to go to work"

_If true altruism does exist then it is surely one of my mothers cardinal traits_, Asuka thought to herself before running back in the house to finish the dress on her own.

* * *

"Mom, can you please take me?" Shinji begged. "If Dad drives me to the dance I know he's gonna say something embarrassing"

"Shinji, I'm tired, I've been on my feet all day, I'm not going anywhere. Besides if your father goes in his suit it'll look like you have a personal driver. You'll definitely get a kiss then!" His mother teased.

"Yui, you picked this suit out, if I look like someone's driver it's only because you have poor taste" Gendo responded as he grabbed his keys from the table.

"Perhaps I just like to dress you subserviently because it makes you easier to control" Yui shot back.

"Get in the car son" His father said with defeat in his voice.

* * *

"I think she lives right up here" Shinji said from the back seat. They had parked in front of a double story building that looked to be more of a dorm than a house. Shinji could hear female voices and see silhouetted shadows in the windows. "Hinata House" Shinji read the words from a small sign near the driveway.

"Do I really look like a limo driver in this suit son?" Gendo asked.

"You look fine Dad. I'll be right back"

"Well go get her stud" His father said putting the car in park and taking out his newspaper.

Shinji got out of the car and began making his way across her front lawn. He watched as she quietly slid out her front door. "Hey!" Shinji greeted her with a wave.

"Shh!" She exclaimed as she put a single finger up to her lips. "I don't want my roommates to know that I've left. They get kind of crazy when they see a guy" She smiled at him bashfully and followed him to the car.

"Hello Rei" Shinji's father greeted the girl as she stepped in the car.

"I…" She hesitantly replied.

"Dad this isn't Rei! This is Shinobu! I knew you were gonna say something to embarrass us!" Shinji exclaimed.

"It was dark! How am I supposed to keep track of all the girls you bring to the house!" His father replied as he sped the car down the road.

"How immoral" Shinobu whispered to herself.

* * *

Even from an inartistic male point of view Shinji could appreciate the beauty of the scenery. A shade covering the ceiling-mounted lights cast the interior of the gym in a cerulean incandescence. A mirrored globe spun in the center of the room throwing spots of white luminescence on the walls. Shinobu looked absolutely serene. She matched perfectly with her surroundings; her cobalt dress sparkled and almost seemed to glow in the light reflected by the spinning ball. Her hair, as well as her girlish face was dotted with tiny bits of glitter. She had a look of absolute amazement in her eyes as she took in the sites and sounds of the dance.

"Shinobu is that you? Oh my God you're so pretty!" Kaname exclaimed as she spotted the two enter the dance.

"Kaname, you've really outdone yourself with the decorations!" Shinobu replied.

"Shinobu you really do look great" Lavi said as she walked up and took a sip of her punch.

"Oh, no I, it's just that…" She stuttered blushing deeply.

Shinji wanted to compliment her as well but felt that she would just become more uncomfortable. Instead he smiled warmly at her and nodded. Another reason he couldn't directly talk to her is that when Lavi and Kaname appeared he had been somewhat excluded from their little group.

"It's best to just leave them alone when they get like that. My name's Clous, Clous Valka. I'm here with Lavi"

"Sousuke Sagara, I'm escorting Ms. Chidori" He had obviously made no attempt to dress for the dance as he was still in his school uniform.

"My name is Shinji Ikari" He said shyly.

"Oh yeah, aren't you dating Asuka?" Clous asked trying to loosen the tie around his neck.

"Negative, the last word was that he was with Ayanami" Sousuke interrupted.

Shinji immediately thought this guy was abnormal. He always seemed to be looking for something, like he was nervous or on alert.

"Don't worry about him Shinji he's just a military brat wannabe" Kaname explained before rejoining her friends.

"Shinji you didn't come with either one of them, you came with Shinobu, what gives?" Clous scratched his head and again loosened his tie before being scolded by Lavi.

"Its simple tactics" Sousuke answered. "He would have to fight a losing battle by choosing either one of them, so instead he opted for a third girl, a girl he could take who he didn't have feelings for. Thereby circumventing the choice all together"

"I understand all that. But who is Asuka here with then?" Clous asked.

"Asuka's here?" Shinji exclaimed.

"Yeah she was sitting by herself at one of the tables over there, she looked really lonely" Clous stated as he pointed toward the other end of the gym. "For as pretty as she looked it would sure be a shame if she didn't come with anyone"

"I agree" Sousuke stated.

"You what!" Kaname and Lavi exclaimed in unison as they started beating their dates.

Shinji looked at Shinobu who was giggling to herself. When he caught her eye she made a shooing motion with her hands alerting him that it was okay to go find Asuka.

* * *

As Shinji made his way through the crowd he was hit in the stomach by someone much larger than him.

"Oy! Hello boyo!" Toji exclaimed with a toothy grin as he punched Shinji in the arm.

"Uh, hi" Shinji said rubbing his injured bicep.

"Calm down son, get da knot out cha knickers. I got notten but respect for ya. I saw ya dat day when Ayanami walked outta ya house in da mornin. You got Asuka ova dere waitin on ya, and ya got Shinobu ta come to da dance with ya. Pretty damn good lad!"

Shinji only understood a select few words of what Toji had just said but knew that it was a good thing when the oversized jock opened a glass bottled root beer with his eye lids and handed it to him.

"Oy, dis ones on me lad, now go get ya gurl!"

Counting his blessing Shinji walked away and found Asuka sitting alone at a small round table observing the crowd. As soon as she saw him the sullen look disappeared from her face replaced by the sunniest smile Shinji had ever seen. _She's beautiful_, Shinji thought to himself. Asuka looked positively elegant in her sleeveless crimson dress. Where Shinobu seemed to match her surroundings, Asuka blatantly contrasted them. She stood out, like a priceless diamond among mere stones. Shinji had never seen a dress so beautiful, it was oriental in its design and was accented with golden kanji lettering that ran down the side. Her auburn hair was done up in a traditional bun with a few slight strands dangling in front of her face. She even wore a tiny chocker that added a girlish cuteness to her.

"Well, what do you think?" Asuka asked as she bit her lip.

"I…you're…wow" Shinji stuttered unable to avert his eyes.

"You like it! You really like it!" Asuka squealed as she jumped up and down while giving him a hug.

"Asuka, you look amazing" Shinobu compliment as she walked up.

"Is that you? Shinobu oh my God!" Asuka exclaimed

_Here we go again_, Shinji thought to himself.

"Who are you here with?" Asuka asked looking at Shinobu.

"I…I'm with Shinji" She answered nervously.

Before answering Asuka just stood there as if she couldn't contemplate what Shinobu had just said "You…why Shinji? Why would you ask her?" Asuka asked turning her attention to him.

"I just didn't want to lose you guys as my friends, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else to do"

"So I guess he likes you now?" Asuka said to Shinobu, the anger apparent on her face.

"Oh no, not at all Asuka! I know someone he works with and we are all going to meet up after we leave the dance. That's the only reason he asked me, he just wanted to help me out" Shinobu nervously explained.

Shinji watched as the anger faded from her face, replaced with a look of slight disappointment. "That's really kind of you Shinji" Asuka said averting her eyes and retaking her seat at the table. "So you guys are getting ready to leave?"

"Well yeah, Asuka what's wrong?" Shinji asked as he sat down next to her.

"Shinji, do you really like my dress?" Asuka whispered as she looked into his eyes.

"I…I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you are right now Asuka" Shinji said.

"You don't mean that" Asuka replied with a small grin on her pretty face.

"I swear it Asuka. I have an idea, why don't you come with us? I could brag to everyone tomorrow that we went out on a date" Shinji said trying his best to cheer her up. He still couldn't figure out why she was so down. He had told her that there was nothing going on between him and Shinobu. Why else would she be upset?

"What makes you think I wanna go on a date with you?" Asuka replied lightly punching Shinji's arm.

_She's back_, Shinji thought with a smile. "Come on, Keitaro is waiting on us"

* * *

Keitaro was indeed waiting for them at the noodle bar they had previously decided as their meeting place. He had even gone so far as to dress up slightly, wearing slacks and a black collared shirt. He waved happily as he saw the three teenagers walk up.

Shinji apologized for their tardiness. After the introductions and reintroductions were finished they sat down at the bar and ordered their meals. Everyone except for Asuka that is, she refused to eat on the grounds that she didn't want to damage her dress. Shinji really had never seen another girl as pretty as she was right now. She drew looks from everyone that walked by.

Keitaro and Shinobu got along immediately and chatted happily the entire time they were at the noodle bar. Shinobu seemed to come out of her shell when Keitaro was around, she was vibrant and giddy. She giggled freely and didn't even notice the others at the bar.

They had been sitting at the bar for over an hour before Shinobu said that she needed to go home before it got any later.

"I'll be happy to take you all home" Keitaro offered.

"Sure!" Shinobu happily accepted.

"I…I'll just walk" Asuka replied as she began to walk away.

"Asuka wait, are you sure you don't wanna ride?" Shinji asked.

"I'm sure" Asuka said as she continued walking away from him.

Shinji bid farewell to Keitaro and Shinobu before chasing Asuka down. "Hey, what's wrong? You're not even going to say goodbye?"

"I…goodbye" Asuka said trying again to escape but was stopped as Shinji grabbed her arm.

"At least let me walk you home" Shinji pleaded.

"No, its fine, it's a really long walk anyway. I had a great time tonight I'll see you at school okay" Asuka nervously replied.

"All the more reason for me to walk with you, look if you won't let me walk with you then I'll just have to follow you. Either way you're not going by yourself" Shinji replied crossing his arms. Shinji watched as she looked to the ground and nodded her head slightly.

The entire way she didn't say a word. Shinji figured he had said something wrong and tried several times to cheer her up. The only response she offered was either nonverbal or single worded sentences. After a while he gave up trying and shoved his hands in his pockets looking to the ground as he walked. His attention was so focused on his feet that he didn't notice that Asuka had stopped walking until he heard her voice from behind him.

"Shinji, this is it"

Shinji looked at the tiny house she was standing in front of and immediately understood why she was hesitant to let him walk her home. She was uncomfortable because he lived in such a large house and she only lived in an average sized home. If Shinji had it his way though he would rather have lived in a house like Asuka's, at least in wasn't a corporate fortress like where he lived. Even in the dark Shinji could see the little things Asuka and her mother had done to turn this house into their own. There were two little gardens on either side of her front porch with wooden signs shaped into tiny human form. One of the characters was painted in what appeared to be a school uniform. "Asuka is that you?" Shinji asked with a smile on his face as he walked into her front yard.

"I…yes, I made that when I was little" Asuka said.

"Did you make that wind chime too?" Shinji asked as he admired her work.

"Yeah, my mom kept all the stuff I made when I was little"

"That's awesome, I kind of wish my parents would do stuff like that. We have to keep our house spic and span because we constantly have big business over" Shinji replied sitting down on her front porch.

She smiled to herself and sat next to him. "Shinji do you remember when I told you I was lying to everyone?"

Shinji nodded in response.

"All my friends think I live in some big house on the other side of town. I just tell them my mom is really strict on having visitors, so they never ask to come over"

"I don't understand Asuka, this house is great, why wouldn't you want them to come over?" Shinji asked.

"It's embarrassing Shinji, have you seen their houses?" Asuka exclaimed.

"Yeah I've seen them, they're all as big and unfriendly as mine. I like your house because I already feel welcome here and I've never even been inside"

"Idiot" Asuka said with a smile as she took his arm and put her head on his shoulder.

"Asuka, if you're so embarrassed of your house then why did you let me see it?"

"Because…because I like you Shinji" Asuka said without looking at him.

"Well I like you too" Shinji replied.

"Not like that you idiot!" Asuka exclaimed as she grabbed his shoulders. "Do you know what I did all day today?"

All Shinji could do was shake his head in wide eyed surprise.

"I fixed this dress I'm wearing! My fingers have never hurt so badly in my entire life, I can't even remember how many times I stabbed them!"

Shinji couldn't help but smirk at what she had said.

"Don't laugh! It's not funny! I've never sewn a day in my life! But I had to learn so I could wear this dress for you! And you're so oblivious you probably don't even know why I would go through all the trouble!" Asuka said as she shook him violently.

Again Shinji's response was a simple shaking of his head.

"Because I _like _you stupid!" Asuka exclaimed as she kissed him so forcefully he fell backward in the wooden guardrails of her front porch.

End Chapter 9


	10. Perspective

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 10  
**

Perspective  


Right now, well it's finally time to face my fears. Gonna get the hell out of here. And create a fresher atmosphere. But the consequence is clear, there's a furnace set on high and a yearning undefined. But it's time to turn the tide, its social suicide.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

_Rei,_ Shinji thought as he stared, wide-eyed at the red headed girl that was kissing him. She held on tightly to his shirt and pressed herself firmly against him. Her soft scarlet hair surrounded his face and tickled his ears. He would have been lying to himself if he said he didn't expect this. As oblivious as he was he could tell that Asuka liked him. He had tried to think of what he would do if put in this situation, but he never could imagine a suitable resolution. No matter how he responded, she would end up getting hurt. Still, he hadn't expected it to be this hard. As she pulled away from the kiss and looked at him with her beautiful cobalt colored eyes he realized that it wasn't difficult because he didn't want to hurt her. It was much more selfish than that. Shinji placed a solitary hand on her soft cheek and gently pulled her lips to his. _I'm so fucked up._ _

* * *

_

Shinji spent the rest of his weekend alone in his room avoiding calls from both girls and thinking about what he had done. He knew he had wronged Rei. In her vain concept of relationships she believed the promise he had made her signified that they were now a couple. If she found out what had happened between him and Asuka she would be crushed. He had cheated on her within a day of their relationship's consummation. This was doubly troubling because Rei was what Shinji classified as an innocent. He had a theory on how relationships with females were supposed to proceed. It was a game. If you were a player in this game then you had no moral problem doing whatever it took to get what you wanted from the opposite sex. The only rule was that you only played the players, not the innocents. You also accept the responsibility that eventually you would meet someone who was better at the game and you would end up getting hurt. Shinji had always thought of himself as an innocent. That is until he kissed Asuka. With that kiss he had betrayed both girls and broke the rules to his own theory. In a way he could excuse himself from being concerned with Asuka's feelings because she had most likely hurt some poor, love struck boy in the past. He had no excuse for Rei though. She had been honest and trusting with him. She had expressed her feelings and put herself in his hands.

The way Shinji saw it he had a few options. He could tell Rei what had happened and risk losing both girls. He could withhold the truth from her and have Asuka eventually blurt it out. Or he could turn his back on Rei completely and be with Asuka. He figured the noblest thing to do would be to distance himself from both girls. He doubted he had the willpower to follow through with that however.

* * *

"Good morning Shinji" Rei greeted him as he exited his front door. 

_She's wearing her eyeglasses again_, Shinji thought. Rei always looked cute when she dressed like that. The wind brought the light scent of her perfume in his direction and he forgot if only for a moment what he had done. He weakly smiled at her and returned her greeting. Shinji figured that Rei could already tell something was wrong, being as smart as she was. She seemed to have the uncanny ability to almost read his mind and then tell him exactly what he was thinking. This morning however she simply walked beside him, occasionally glancing his way to offer a shy smile. Every time she looked at him he became more ashamed. _She deserves better than me_, Shinji thought.

"How was the dance?" Rei asked as she adjusted her glasses with her index finger.

"Fine" Shinji replied silently cursing himself for not hiding his attitude better.

Rei's eyes narrowed as she said, "I'm going to ask you a question even though I know the answer you're going to give me is a lie"

"Wha…I" Shinji stuttered.

"Is something wrong?" Rei asked as she stopped walking and looked directly into his eyes.

"No…I'm fine, really" Shinji replied as he averted his gaze.

"Predictable" Rei muttered as she began to walk ahead of him.

"Rei, wait up!" Shinji exclaimed as he ran to catch up with her.

At the sound of his voice she stopped walking and turned to face him. "Shinji I'm going to be perfectly honest with you in hopes that you will do the same for me" Rei said as she took his hand. "The night of the dance I was worried sick. It's not that I don't trust you, I've never trusted anyone more than I do you. I can't really explain what it was, I…I was just worried. And to compound my nervousness you are acting unusual. That only serves to even further arise my insecurities. I guess the question I really want to ask you is, do you still care for me?"

Without a moments hesitation Shinji tightly embraced her. "Of course I do Rei, like I said it was only a dance" He closed his eyes as he felt Rei wrap her slender arms around his waist.

"Thank you" She replied.

_I'm manipulating her_, Shinji thought. _Again she is placing trust in me and I'm using it to my advantage. _Shinji felt like he was going to be sick. He truly had feelings for this girl. Why then did he continue to withhold the truth from her? Every bit of affection he showed her from this point on would only serve to make the truth harder to bear. It would be easier if he told her now, rather than wait and let the lies compound on each other.

"I…could stay like this forever" Rei whispered as she tightened her grip around his waist.

_This isn't fair_, Shinji thought. _I shouldn't even be holding her. I've betrayed her. I can't even bring myself to tell her how I feel. _"Rei…"

"Yes?" She replied without loosening her grasp on him.

"I…we need to get to school" Shinji said as he backed away from her embrace. The disappointment was evident on her face as she let him go. He was relieved when she nodded and took his hand.

"Well I can't hold on to you forever" Rei replied with a smile.

* * *

Shinji had spent most of his class time staring out of the window nearest his desk. The instructor's lesson was completely lost on him He hadn't heard a word she said. Both Rei and Asuka had made several attempts to talk to him during class but he ignored them equally. He had no idea what he would say to Asuka. What would she be expecting of him now? Shinji half expected her to shout out loud that they had kissed. Rei was a completely different story; he couldn't take any more of her heartfelt innocence. He wasn't worthy of it, it made him sick every time she smiled at him. This proved to him just how vile he was. The more Shinji thought about it, the less he wanted to be forgiven, as if the pain he would feel at losing her would somehow compensate for what he had done. As long as that pain was there he was being punished. 

When lunch finally arrived Shinji gathered his things and walked by himself to the cafeteria. Both girls were already seated at opposite ends of the room. Asuka spotted him first and waved happily. Without acknowledging her greeting he walked to an empty table at the center of the lunch room.

"Shinji?" Rei said as he passed her table.

Acting as if he didn't hear her Shinji found his table and began to eat his lunch. He could feel both girls' eyes on him. Especially Rei's, he couldn't imagine what she might be thinking right now. Shinji refused to look away from his plate, afraid that he would catch her gaze and have to see what expression she was wearing on her face.

"Oy, dis seat taken?"

"Huh, on no feel free" Shinji replied with a slight grin as he watched Toji, Clous, and Sousuke circle his table.

"We saw you sitting here by yourself so we figured we'd be nosey and come see what was wrong" Clous explained as he sat down.

"My assumption is that you've come to the realization that you can't have both girls and are sitting by yourself to further delay your inevitable decision" Sousuke explained.

"I…" Shinji was at a loss for words.

"Oy, you gonna eat dat?" Toji asked as he jabbed his finger in Shinji's plate.

"No, be my guest" Shinji replied as he looked at the imprint Toji's finger had made in his bread. "Why aren't you guys sitting with your girlfriends?" Shinji asked pushing his plate to Toji's side of the table.

"Only cheerleaders are allowed at their table" Clous answered with a smile.

"Shinji, forgive me if this question is inappropriate; have you decided on a favorable course of action concerning your current dilemma?" asked Sousuke who had also helped himself to the remaining food on Shinji's plate.

"I have no idea what I'm going to do" Shinji explained as he put his head on the table.

"Well if you go by looks alone I'd say choose Asuka" Clous stated as he looked around apparently making sure his girlfriend hadn't heard him. "I mean she's so full of life, always so spunky"

"I disagree with you. I think Rei is far more attractive. She's also highly intelligent and somewhat mysterious" Sousuke whispered, placing his hand over his mouth, also an attempt to hide what he was saying from his significant other.

"Why can't you just do em both?" Toji asked as he wiped the crumbs away from his mouth.

"I agree with Toji, though I doubt you have the skill to complete such a difficult maneuver" Sousuke said.

"I can't do that!" Shinji exclaimed.

"I was joking" explained Sousuke, the deadpan look still present on his face.

Shinji cracked a small grin, "You're weird"

"That's what Kaname says as well"

* * *

Like they did everyday after practice Asuka and her group of friends began the trek home. Asuka couldn't remember a time when she had been happier. He friends could all tell that she was on cloud nine but didn't know exactly the reason why. All of them except for Shinobu had hounded her all day long as to why she was so jovial. In response she simply shrugged and smiled her sunniest smile. 

The night of the dance had been such a gigantic surprise to her that she didn't really know how to take it all in. Kissing him was her last ditch effort, she feared she had gone too far and expected him to be angry with her. Before Shinji had kissed her back she was almost convinced she didn't have a chance to be anything more to him than a friend. She could tell he liked Rei, it was obvious, they always walked to and from school together, always sat together at lunch. The moments Shinji and Asuka had were so few that she didn't know if they really meant anything to him at all. But they obviously did mean something to him. He had kissed her back, had returned the affection she had for him. This had to mean he had feelings for her, Shinji wasn't the type of boy to just go around making out with lots of girls. That's why she liked him, he was honest and sweet.

"He kissed me" Asuka said with a smile as she stopped walking.

"What!" The girls unanimously exclaimed.

"Who kissed you?" Kaname asked excitedly as she shook Asuka's shoulders playfully.

"It was Shinji wasn't it" Shinobu asked with a smile, her hand lightly touching the black choker on her neck. Asuka had complimented on it earlier in the day and Shinobu explained that an old friend of hers had bought it for her.

"It was Shinji!" Asuka said as she and the rest of the girls began jumping up and down in celebration. This brought a small amount of attention from a few of the local boys as they stopped to watch the girl's skirts billow up and down.

"Asuka I'm so happy for you!" Sakura said as she gave Asuka a large hug. "I knew he liked you, I could always tell!" She winked as she exclaimed "Lucky!"

After the celebrations had ended they continued walking, eventually arriving at the wooden fence that enclosed Asuka's supposed house. Asuka smiled to herself as she ran her hand along the individual pickets. She couldn't help but think of how shallow this all seemed now, this fake, materialistic lifestyle. The gigantic house that didn't even belong to her family, the clothes she wore, the way she acted, this wasn't her, she had lied to her friends and now that she had Shinji, she felt she had the strength to come clean. She would be forgiven if they really cared about her, if they were really her friends it wouldn't matter where she lived. Either way, she would be fine as long as she had Him. "Hey, you guys wanna see something cool?"

"Like what?" Lavi asked.

"Yes or no?" Asuka grinned. She watched the girls silently nod in unison. "Alright, see if you can keep up. We're gonna be going through some rough neighborhoods so we're gonna have to run"

"Asuka what are you talking about?" Kaname asked dropping her book bag on the ground.

"Just don't fall behind!" Asuka said as she ran in the yard and hopped the fence like she had done so many times before.

* * *

"Asuka this is crazy, stop!" Kaname yelled from somewhere behind her. 

"We can't stop on this street, just keep running we're almost there!" Asuka exclaimed as she checked to her rear to make sure she hadn't lost anyone.

"Shinobu is falling behind!" Sakura said grabbing Asuka's shoulder, forcing her to stop.

"Shinobu, I wasn't joking when I said we couldn't stop on this street" Asuka explained. This was one of the worst blocks in Tokyo, a place the city had forgotten about. The police rarely came to this part of town anymore, and when they did come, never with less than a squad. This area had been burned out by fires caused by a riot a few years back and there was no effort to reconstruct. Smoked out and turned over cars still occupied the center of the street, apartment buildings with stable flooring were now home to squatters and the homeless. Asuka herself had been assaulted less than a month ago on this very street. "This place is dangerous Shinobu, we need to go"

"I'm fine, let's go" said Shinobu who had her hands on her knees and looked as if she were ready to pass out.

Asuka nodded and continued running down the abandoned sidewalk. She ran the rest of the way to her house and finally stopped in her front yard. All of her friends except Kaname acted as if they were about to die from exhaustion. Even Sakura was on her back in the grass gasping for air.

"I assume this is a safe place to stop?" Lavi asked looking as if she were ready to beat Asuka's face in.

"Of course its safe here, this is where I live" Asuka replied.

"What? You mean to tell me you drug us all the way out here, through that war zone of a neighborhood, just to play a stupid joke on us?" Kaname exclaimed.

Asuka couldn't help but grin, Kaname was a mess. Her face was beat red, her usually perfectly kept hair was tangled and matted to her face with sweat. She huffed and puffed like a balloon ready to explode. "This is where I live, look at the wooden figures in the garden" Asuka said. "I can go and unlock the door if you want"

"Why, this doesn't make any sense. Why would you tell us you lived in that other house?" Sakura asked bewildered.

"You guys wouldn't have accepted me if you knew that I lived here. I did what I had to do to make friends" Asuka explained, the anger evident in her voice.

"So…so you've been lying to us the entire time we've known you?" Shinobu asked looking as if she were about to cry.

"Look I didn't bring you here to apologize! It's not my fault I'm poor! I brought you here to test what kind of people you are!" Asuka exclaimed as the tears began to stream down her face. "If you really are my friends then it shouldn't matter that I'm poor"

"You're right! No one here would stop being your friend because you're poor. The reason I'm no longer your friend is because you've been lying to me! You endangered the lives of everyone here just so you could prove a point, what right do you have?" Lavi exclaimed as she stepped forward and slapped Asuka in the face. "Unless you're going to fight me, I'm gonna find a bus and go home"

Asuka held her reddened cheek and looked to the ground. "Endangered your lives? I make that trip every day just so you guys would think I lived in that house."

"Whatever" Lavi said as she turned around and walked away. Without another word to Asuka, the rest of the girls followed.

* * *

By the time school had ended for the day Rei had long since given up trying to cajole Shinji into telling her what was bothering him. He had never treated her this way before, she felt completely unwanted. If Shinji wasn't going to let her be part of the solution, then she wasn't going to be responsible for worsening the problem by constantly nagging him. Rei found that she could only play the caring, submissive girlfriend for so long before her more logical and somewhat indifferent side took dominance. Rei knew better than to jump to conclusions, there could be a number of different reasons for Shinji's more than awkward behavior. What bothered her was that she couldn't think of one thing that would cause him to act the way he did. She didn't want to wait for him to tell her what was bothering him. She would rather have it figured out so that when he finally told her she would be ready to help him. His behavior was too contrasting and erratic though. Shinji had gone from holding her this morning to completely ignoring her this afternoon. 

After sitting in her room for more than an hour she decided to go out for a while. Hopefully being in the midst of other people would help clutter her mind so that she could take a break from thinking abut Shinji. She also needed to do to everything possible to keep her emotions out of the situation. If her feelings surfaced she would become weak and unable to resolve anything. She could feel the doubt, anxiety, and fear slowly eating away at her resolve, a cold feeling in her stomach that worsened as time went by.

Rei settled on a local coffee shop where she would hopefully sit within earshot of an intellectual group of college students. She always liked to eavesdrop on supposedly educated people as they talked about the larger, more important issues in life. It was always fun to mentally poke holes in their theories and philosophy.

"Um excuse me? What can I get for you?"

"Huh? Oh…sorry, I'll have a…what do you recommend?" Rei asked embarrassed that she had been so lost in thought. She had visited this establishment many times but never could remember exactly how to order what she wanted. It amazed her whenever she saw the caffeine gurus rattle away at their ridiculously complex order.

The waitress blew a pink bubble of chewing gum and rolled her eyes before answering, "I dunno, I always get a double latté, half-caf, no foam, foam on the side"

"Um, do you have anything with fruit?" Rei innocently asked.

Sighing in exasperation the waitress answered, "One Happy Star Cherry Cola, roger. Anything else?" She tapped her pen noisily on her clipboard for added annoyance.

"Well since I'm here, why not splurge a little huh?" Rei said. "Do you have any of those excessively expensive, stale cinnamon roles? The smaller and more expensive the better" Rei said with a sweet smile.

"One Super Fun Cinabun, roger. Do you want that with or without cinnamon?"

"You can get a cinnamon roll without cinnamon?"

The waitress replied with a look that conveyed she was going to add her own salivated ingredients to Rei's order.

"Cinnamon please" Rei responded.

"Coming right up" The waitress stated as she walked away.

Rei had barely been alone for five minutes when she heard an all too irritating female's voice behind her.

"Hey freak" Asuka said as she took a seat in front of Rei.

_Outstanding_, Rei thought to herself. "Asuka, can you guess who I would pick if I had to choose one person out of everyone in the world that I would least like to sit with right now?" Rei caught herself tapping the table with her fingers and abruptly stopped. "I could be waiting for someone."

"Are you?" Asuka asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"No" Rei replied flatly.

"You've been crying" Asuka stated pointing ay Rei's eyes.

"As have you"

Asuka held a hand up to her reddened cheek. "Has Shinji talked to you yet?"

"In reference to what?"

"About him and I being a couple now" Asuka said with a grin.

"Believe it or not he failed to mention that to me" Rei replied, she was in no mood to play this game with Asuka.

"Oh that's right, he didn't say a single word to you today, did he? Let me guess, he's been acting weird ever since he got back from the dance on Saturday huh? You're lucky you didn't go, I bet you worried yourself to death sitting at home all by yourself."

Rei felt like hitting her, which meant that Asuka was winning this verbal battle. She was injuring Rei with everything she said. "Asuka, since it's so blatantly obvious you're trying to hurt my feelings I'll go ahead and save you the breath and precious little intelligence you have by telling you I already know what you're doing and why. I'll be as forthcoming with you as I can be. The things you've just told me are indeed hurting me, however would you really feel the need to say them if you weren't worried about your own standings with Shinji? The answer is no, you wouldn't say these hurtful things unless you were insecure in your own right. That is, unless you're just a total bitch, and you and I both know you're not a total bitch, right?" Rei said with a slight grin.

"Ah…I…" Asuka stuttered before she reared her hand back in preparation to slap Rei.

"This is called telegraphing. By escalating this argument to a physical battle you're telling me that I've won and you can think of nothing else to do but hit me. I don't fault you for being less intelligent that me, but I must warn you, I've been training with one of your flunkies, Sakura, to be exact. Judging by the handprint on your face it seems you've had enough physical violence for today so I beg you, for your own safety, walk away"

"Excuse me, one Happy Star Cherry Cola and one Super Fun Cinabun" The waitress stated as she sat Rei's order down.

Before Rei had a chance to even look at her food Asuka had taken the cinnamon roll and shoved it in her mouth. She put her hands on her hips and chewed triumphantly.

"You do realize that she probably spit on that right?" Rei said with a disgusted look on her face.

Asuka stopped chewing immediately and stared at the waitress who shrugged slightly and nodded her head in agreement. After spitting out the cinnamon roll Asuka got directly in Rei's face. "Ayanami, I may look stupid now, but I'm the one Shinji took to the dance Saturday, and I'm the one he kissed, not you. You can keep your witty phrases and spit covered cinnamon rolls, because I have Shinji, and that's all that matters.

End Chapter 10


	11. Equity

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 12**

Equity

Login:Sannan  
Password:xxx  
-$ for item in $((dictcrk.sh ./passwdssh/grep wheel)); do ssh -l  
$item0 shell. -i finger -lp Zero  
Login: Zero Name: Katsuragi Misato  
Directory/home/Zero Shell/bin/bash  
Phone: 5-1212  
cd/ $pwnull 01qwe32 / www.boj.on.jp/members/accnts/x02katsuragimisato341/  
bash-2.04 getcard -n -c 09b87357420ff  
Searching...Found  
Name: Ayanami Rei  
Disconnect  
Exit

* * *

_He kissed her. No, worry about that later. Don't let her see you weak_. "Asuka, normally I wouldn't waste my time arguing with you because I personally believe that you're half retarded. Today however, I have neither the sympathy nor the patience to tolerate your mental disabilities" Rei said as she stood up, keeping her eyes locked on Asuka. 

"If you don't believe me, just ask him Ayanami. Shinji wouldn't lie about a thing like this" Asuka said with a victorious grin as she put her hands defiantly on her hips. "We kissed right on my front porch, the same night he told me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He took me out after the dance and offered to walk me home, it was amazing! I almost feel sorry for you…almost"

_Enough_, Rei though as she clenched her fists. "I'm not disputing whether he kissed you. It's completely possible. My question is do you believe the physical affection he showed you to be proof of your relationship with him? In other words, he kissed you so you two are a couple now" Rei said, silently praying Asuka couldn't see the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Asuka stood in silence for a moment, apparently contemplating what Rei had said. "Of course that's what I'm telling you. Shinji isn't the kind of person to just do that with any girl! It means I'm special to him! What else could it mean? Besides, I know you like him too. Stop acting like you're not upset that we kissed!"

"Why would I be upset? He was completely within his rights to kiss you, we aren't dating yet", Rei shrugged, doing her best to show that she was completely indifferent to the shocking news she had just learned. "According to your little theory, Shinji likes me more anyway"

"Wha…what are you talking about?" Asuka asked, her face morphing from that of anger to that of despair.

_I've found it_, Rei thought to herself as her eyes narrowed, she watched as Asuka twitched under her ever constant gaze. "Shinji and I have already kissed, held each other, and I've even stayed the night at his house. You've known from the moment we met him, that he liked me more. Who did he sit beside when he first arrived? Who does he sit with at lunch? Who does he walk to and from school with? Me." Rei explained in such a monotonous voice it seemed like she was explaining facts rather than trying to win an argument. The calmer Rei appeared, the more Asuka's emotions would get the better of her. "Asuka don't do this to yourself, in all honesty he probably kissed you because he was mad that I haven't confessed to him yet. Apparently you don't know him as well as you'd like to believe. I suppose I should apologize for him because he used you to prove a point to me. You already know everything I've said is true, it's buried in the back of your mind, but it's there. I know you like him Asuka, but that is exactly why you're hurting so bad right now, you _believe _in his feelings for you. Stop believing in something that's not there"

Rei watched as Asuka's lip began to quiver, her pupils tightly constricted in an unconscious attempt to protect her eyes from something her brain found harmful. Asuka's arms dropped from her waist and went limp by her side. Her auburn hair hid her eyes as she dipped her head. She practically crumbled into one of the plastic chairs circling Rei's table. _It worked_, Rei thought as Asuka began to sob. Before leaving the coffee shop Rei threw enough money on the table to pay for what she had ordered. "Ciao"

* * *

_Not yet_, Rei thought as she walked hurriedly away from the café doing her best to contain what she was feeling. The tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks. Though she hid her face with her hands it was obvious she was crying and the people on the sidewalk stared at her in shock as she passed them. As soon as she could see her apartment she broke into a full sprint. 

By the time Rei made it to her door she was shaking so badly she had trouble inserting her key. Without closing the door behind her Rei fell to the floor and began to bawl uncontrollably. She could no longer contain the things she felt. The emotions she was experiencing were so contradicting it was almost physically painful. The betrayal she felt was especially excruciating because she had never trusted anyone before, she had always relied on herself, never opening up, never giving anyone the chance to harm her. The first time she put her feelings in someone else's hands she had been crushed. _I'm smarter than this_, Rei thought to herself. Shinji had completely caught her off guard. Normally she could read, in an instant, what kind of person someone was. Never in a million years would she have ever believed Shinji was capable of something like this. She began to feel sick as images of Shinji and Asuka kissing ran through her head. These thoughts were soon replaced with the iconic memory of Asuka collapsing into the chair at the café. Rei cried all the more violently when she recalled what she had done to Asuka. Even though everything Rei said was in self defense, she had gone too far. She had destroyed Asuka, thoroughly and completely, attacking each of her insecurities and breaking everything she was confident in. Rei had killed her spirit, her Eros. _I'm no better than her_, Rei thought. _This is no different from her abusing me because I'm weaker than she is. When did I become so pompous? I took advantage of the fact that I'm smarter than her, how is that more ethically sound than some overgrown bully beating on a small child?_ Rei brought her knees up to her chest and laid on the ground in the fetal position. She didn't bother to wipe the tears out of her reddening eyes. _What if she kills herself because of what I said?_ Rei knew that Asuka was capable of that. Regardless of how she acted, Asuka was hiding something. She was brittle as glass, her obnoxious front served as armor to keep people away from her true self. With Rei's carefully planned words she had completely bypassed Asuka's defenses, attacking directly, Asuka's ego strength. She had frayed the thread used to attach Asuka's identity to her. If and when the second phase of Rei's attack completed, Asuka would lose herself. All that remained now was for Shinji to tell Asuka he preferred Rei.

Rei couldn't believe she had used her abilities in such a vile way. She couldn't even remember setting up the assault, it happened instinctively, like a reflex to a life threatening situation. Except that the situation wasn't life threatening, it was an argument over a teenage boy, and Rei had used a potentially lethal technique of psychoanalytical warfare. It was true that her education in psychology was her basis of personal defense, but there was also a need for escalation of force. Rei however had skipped straight to one of the arts most destructive maneuvers.

* * *

After declining an invitation to hang out with Clous and the rest of his friends Shinji decided to skip work and contemplate his problems in a small park near his school. Rei had once told him that the laughter of a child was therapeutic, so he figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to go where children played. The playground he found was encircled completely by a thin row of trees and had a small fishing pond in the center. Mothers watched from benches as their children played together on the monkey bars. Couples lay side by side in the grass on colorful blankets. If Rei ever forgave him, Shinji thought, he would bring her here one day. 

Shinji walked to a relatively vacant side of the park and took a seat on a green wooden bench. He threw his book bag on the ground in front of him and let out a long sigh. Shinji still had no idea what he was going to do about his dilemma. He was surprised someone like him had such a problem. A lesser person would be happy that he had his choice of two beautiful girls. Shinji on the other hand was sick to his stomach. He felt he had already lost Rei. He didn't know her well enough to know how forgiving she was. At least with Asuka he could have a fresh start. Would he just be settling for Asuka because Rei had rejected him or did he actually have feelings for her as well? Before Shinji could think of anything else a man sat down beside him. _What the hell?_ Shinji thought as he looked around at all the vacant benches the man could have sat down at. "Um, excuse me" Shinji said shyly. The man responded by crossing his legs, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. _He doesn't speak Japanese_, Shinji thought as he rolled his eyes. "Hello…how…are…you…" He spoke slowly so the man could hopefully understand him. Looking to be in his mid-twenties the man was dressed oddly enough, in a black high collared button up shirt, black slacks, and to set it off, a weathered looking black hooded cloak. This all heavily contradicted with the small emerald jewel he wore in his left ear. "Hello…my…name…"

"I presume you're speaking that way out of some disability because I'm sure you know it would make it no easier to understand you if I didn't speak the language. Also, it's never good to assume the ignorance of someone you don't know" The man replied in perfect Japanese without opening his eyes.

"Ah…" Shinji stuttered and blushed. Slightly annoyed he muttered, "Japanese people usually introduce themselves when they meet someone new"

"I'm not Japanese" The man said as he shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"Fine, well why did you have to sit here, there are plenty of benches in the park." Shinji asked motioning to the many available seats.

"Since you're apparently so familiar with traditional Japanese customs I'm sure you're aware that it's rude to speak so firmly with someone older than yourself. Especially if he's a stupid foreigner" The man replied running a hand through his hair. "That is what you're labeling me, correct?"

_Who the hell is this guy?_ _He's almost completely ignoring my side of the conversation. _"I…I'm not labeling you at all" Shinji lied.

"Tell me something if you don't mind, I've never been to Japan before. I was just wondering if all Japanese teenagers are as unfriendly as you. I wouldn't want to develop an unfair stereotype"

"I'm just having a rough day, I'm sorry. I'm Ikari, Shinji"

"Ho Shinji" The man cheerfully greeted him.

"What? Never mind, what is your name?" Shinji asked.

"What seems to be the reason you're having a bad day" The man replied, again ignoring Shinji's questions.

"Why should I tell you my problems when you won't even give me your name?" Shinji exclaimed.

"Because my name isn't important to you, I presume solving your problem is"

Shinji could only stare back at the man who had still not looked directly at him. There was something weird about this guy. He just didn't fit, didn't seem to belong, regardless of what race he was. "I'm sure my problems are too childish to bother you with sir" Shinji said throwing the man's age back in his face.

"I have no doubt your predicament, while earth shattering from your perspective, is infinitely trivial in the grand scheme of things, still I'd like to help"

Shinji figured there would be no harm in hearing what the man had to say about his ordeal. After all, he had the intellect to make Shinji feel totally ignorant. "Okay then, I have these two girls that like me, I sort of made a promise to one of them but broke it by kissing the other girl. Now I don't know what to do. I could end up losing both of them if I'm not careful. I just don't want to hurt anyone"

"Firstly I believe a solution would more easily present itself once you start being honest with yourself. Since it seems you're incapable of sincerity, I'll help you. You most likely don't care about hurting them. You are more concerned with how _you_ will feel about yourself once the decision is made"

"That's not true at all! I honestly care about both…"

"Secondly, tell me why you deserve the affection of either girl since you obviously have an inability to keep your word" Said the man as he lightly touched the jewel in his ear.

"I…who are you to judge me?" Shinji exclaimed as he stood up from the bench.

"If I'm not mistaken this is called displacement. You're angry at yourself for being too weak to accept your flaws so instead you're turning your anger on me. I haven't judged you at all, I've simply repeated everything you've said, minus of course the self helping twists you've added to your version of the truth. So, I ask again, why is it you think you rate to have either one of these girls care for you since it seems you also have anger problems in addition to a lack of a moral code"

"I…" _Wow, even Rei would have trouble dealing with this guy. _His sheer presence was downright intimidating. Even Rei had to look someone in the eye before she could play her mind games. This guy on the other hand hadn't even bothered to look at him. _He's right though, I really don't deserve either one of them. I've betrayed both…_

"Stop wallowing in self pity, you're still trying to take the easy way out. Now answer my question" The man said, his voice and posture still hadn't changed from when he first started talking.

Shinji on the other hand was red in the face and heaving with anger, "Fine! I don't deserve either one of them! All I've done so far is hurt her! Is that what you want to hear?" Shinji exclaimed.

"So you're just giving up then?"

"God damn it what do you want from me!" Shinji yelled.

"I want you to make a decision"

"I just want to make her happy you bastard! I want to be with her! I know it might be selfish and I know I'm not perfect but I want her!"

"Is it her or yourself you want to satisfy?" The man said lightly scratching at his eyebrow.

"Both! Holy Christ, why can't we be happy together?"

"What if she doesn't wish to be with you after what you've done?"

"I want to be with her but her happiness comes first, if she doesn't want me anymore then I can be satisfied with that because in the end she'll be happier!"

For the first time, since Shinji had started speaking with him, the man opened his eyes. "My mistake, I thought you said you had a problem" The man said as he got up, stretched and began to walk away.

Shinji was completely dumbfounded, "Please, tell me your name"

The man turned around and smiled at him. He then shifted his gaze to the sky and spoke so certainly it seemed as though he were conversing directly with someone Shinji couldn't see. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

* * *

A soft, almost inaudible knock on the door woke Rei from the slumber she had fallen into. The first thing she noticed upon awakening was the black ball of fur that had curled itself next to her. "Neko" Rei said softly as she stroked the sleeping feline's coat. Another knock on the door brought Rei to her feet. When she saw who was standing at the entrance to her apartment her mind went completely blank. For the first time in her life she had no intelligent response to give, instead, she resorted like most people, to physical violence and punched Shinji in the face. She almost immediately apologized and watched as Shinji lost his balance and fell backward into the hallway. 

"Damn it!" Shinji screamed. "You hit me in the ear, what the hell?" Shinji was rolling on the floor in pain cradling his injured appendage. "What's wrong with you?"

"Well Jesus I'm sorry. Wait, what do you mean what's wrong with me? You were just knocked off your feet by a girl that weighs like a hundred pounds soaking wet!" Rei exclaimed. Shinji only responded with whimpering as he kicked around helplessly on the ground. "Shinji I know everything, I know you've been lying to me"

Shinji's eyes went wide and he stopped flailing around when he heard what she said, "I…I came to apologize Rei!"

Rei's anger only intensified at Shinji's words, "Apologize, Shinji you broke my trust! You're a liar! Why would I accept an apology from someone like you?"

"I haven't lied to you at all!" Shinji exclaimed as he got to his feet. "Everything I said to you I meant! The only liar here is you, Zero"

Rei gasped in shock, "How…"

_What am I doing? Why am I attacking her? _Shinji couldn't help himself, he was angry, and the only one here to take it out on was Rei. "It doesn't matter how I know, but if you're going to accuse me of something you had better make sure you're not guilty of the same thing. Yes I kissed Asuka, but that doesn't mean I stopped caring for you! We aren't even dating yet Rei" Shinji walked slowly toward Rei and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Rei, I'm sorry"

Rei's head dropped and small tears began to form in her eyes. _Why, why does it have to be like this? _"No" She whispered as she quickly removed his hands from her and thrust her open palms into his chest forcing him backward. "You're trying to win this based on a technicality! Why Shinji? You knew exactly what that promise meant to me!" Rei wrapped her arms around herself as she sunk to the floor.

He had failed again. Shinji had come here to apologize and had succeeded only in hurting her even more. _Why, why can't I just accept it, why can't I just tell her how I feel? _Shinji thought to himself as he rubbed his chest. He watched as she slowly rocked herself back and forth, her shoulders heaved as she sobbed silently. "I…I came here to tell you that I was sorry, and that I wanted you to be happy even if you didn't forgive me. But…I'd be lying if I said that, Rei I want you to be happy, but I want you to be happy with me. You have to forgive me, because…because I love you" Shinji said wiping at the tears that were streaming down his face. "I'll do whatever it takes, say anything you want me to say, but I can't, I won't lose you. I know it's selfish and I know I don't deserve you but I don't care Rei, I love you!"

After a short pause she stopped shaking and whispered, "Say it again"

"What?" Shinji asked, straining to hear her muffled words. He took a step back and braced himself as she got to her feet and looked directly into his eyes.

"Say it again" Rei said as she squinted. It seemed to Shinji that she was staring through him, searching in his eyes for some bit of information, some signal that he meant what he was saying.

"I…love you" Shinji said and breathed a sigh of relief as she looked away from him. He hated it when she looked at him like that. It was like she was reading his mind. Before she looked away though Shinji thought he saw her gaze change, if only slightly. For a moment the analytical stare was gone from her eyes, replaced with something else, something warm.

"I…I'll get some ice for your ear" Rei said as she turned around and walked to her kitchen.

End Chapter 11

A/N, Thanks to unknown user for the coding at the top of the page.Also, thanks to Norsehound for the phrase "brittle as glass", I hope you don't mind that I used it in the fic. I also took Bebop Samurai's idea and had Rei "kick Shiniji's ass around the block". Lol, thanks for that review it cracked me up. Thanks for reading everyone, I'll have the next chapter up soon.


	12. Thanatos

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 12**

Thanatos

I would rather be mocked for doing good than respected, knowing I have done wrong.

-Ayanami, Rei

* * *

Asuka sat at the coffee shop staring blankly at the table she was crouched over. She crossed her vision in and out of focus as she played idly with her fingers. _It's not true_, Asuka mentally screamed as she closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She vaguely grinned as she dug her fingernails so deep into her palms that a small amount of blood oozed onto her hand. After staring, absentmindedly at the crimson liquid for only a moment Asuka gasped and began frantically searching for something to clot her wound with. _What's happening to me?_ She had never hurt herself before. Asuka knew that something was wrong. She wasn't necessarily sad or angry, just off, or incorrect in a way. Like she had misplaced a valuable and couldn't search for it because she didn't know exactly what was missing. The reactions of people around her were also a good indication that she was behaving strangely. Since Ayanami had left, bystanders had approached her in what she guessed was an attempt at single-serving kindness. Now that she tried, she couldn't remember what she had said to them, if anything at all.

"Um, Miss?" The shop's manager hesitantly said.

As soon as Asuka heard the man's voice coming from so close to her she snapped back to reality and shirked away so violently she knocked over the bottled soda on her table. She brought blood stained palms to her mouth in an effort to muffle a scream. Her eyes went wide with fear as the man attempted to calm her by putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry but we're going to have to ask you to leave. You're frightening the customers"

Keeping her eyes trained on the man Asuka slowly rose to her feet and walked backward out of the coffee shop, making sure she could react if he did anything suspicious. _What am I doing?_ She thought as she neared the door. Without another word Asuka left and began running as fast as she could toward her home.

_Something is happening to my mind_, Asuka thought as she ran. She had just entered The Falls district when she was overcome with an intense wave of despair. So strong was this feeling that it brought her to her knees right there on the broken and litter covered sidewalk. The stench of rotten garbage and smoke hung heavy in the air, causing her to gag in disgust as she covered her nose and mouth. _I can't stop here_, Asuka thought as she wrapped her arms around her shaking body. This sudden bout of depression was so powerful that it was defeating Asuka's will to survive. She wanted to just lay there on the sidewalk and close her eyes, hoping that the intense pain would just fade away. She knew from past experiences however that she would be injured or worse if she didn't relocate. Doing the best she could, Asuka got to her feet and made her way to what she hoped was an abandoned building. The thought had crossed her mind to try and make it home, but she needed to run if she was going to make that trip. In her current condition Asuka could barely walk straight. She felt weak all over, her limbs weren't injured, she just didn't feel like moving them, each step was almost momentous in its difficulty.

Asuka's hopes of finding the building empty were destroyed as soon as she saw a body slumped over in a far corner of the room she had entered. She stood, frozen in fear as she stared at the immobile form. Dirty and tattered clothing drooped off the limp body; an overturned bottle of alcohol was spilling its contents onto the man's pants. "He…he's dead" Asuka whispered to herself. She breathed a sigh of relief as the man grumbled and wiped at his bearded face. After she left the main entryway Asuka made her way to the same room she had stayed in the night she ran away from home.

Almost two years ago Asuka's mother had met a man at one of her jobs. At first Asuka didn't mind as he seemed to make her mother happy. He was also very kind to her, offering to drive her to and from school whenever he had the chance. For her birthday he had taken her to the local department store and bought her one of the most expensive backpacks available. It was for this reason that she had originally met Kaname and her group of friends. They had approached her and asked about how she could afford such a costly item. Her modesty in replying that it was a gift seemed to intrigue the girls even more. Noticing that the group responded to materialistic possessions, Asuka decided to wear her mother's favorite pair of earrings the next day. Her plan worked and the gang invited her to sit with them at lunch. Until then Asuka had always sat by herself, she never had the courage to try and make friends. She simply sat alone and wrote her poems or drew in her sketch book at lunch. After that day though Asuka and her new friends were inseparable, she eventually grew to trust them enough that she asked for their help when she became jealous of her mother's boyfriend. It was Lavi that recommended running away from home as a sure fire way to get a message across to Asuka's mother. So she did as she was advised and packed her book bag with snacks and a change of clothing and made her way to The Falls to spend the night. As she was setting up her sleeping bag she was approached by a small group of older homeless children. Asuka understood that they weren't there to make friends as soon as they started ruffling though her things. When she protested, they beat her up, took her backpack, sleeping bag and shoes then left her there. Asuka returned home immediately fearing for her life. When asked by her mother why she had run away Asuka responded, looking utterly pitiful that she thought her mama didn't need her anymore because she had that man now. Needless to say her mother quickly broke relations with her boyfriend.

"I am a bitch" Asuka said aloud as she propped her body up against a dirty wall facing the entrance to the room. Her thoughts began to shift from Shinji to how she had mistreated her mother. Strangely her depression subsided slightly, replaced by a cold self-punishing anger. Asuka had always appreciated all that her mother had given her but she never realized just how much she sacrificed to make her happy. Beyond giving up her time and money, she had thrown away her chance at possible happiness with a man that might actually have been good to her. "I wasn't worth it momma" Asuka whispered to herself as she glanced at the open wounds on her hands. It was almost sickening how little she had accomplished compared to how much effort went into making her happy. Asuka had always been told she had a lot of potential, but she had given up that path in order to keep her friends. Her friends were what made her happy, what gave her a reason to get up in the morning, now however they were gone. The void filled with a different type of affection. The feelings she had for Shinji replaced what she had felt for her gang. It filled her up, illuminated her, to have someone to care for and to him care for her in return, it's all that she ever wanted. "Shinji" Asuka whimpered. According to Ayanami she had lost him to. What would she do then, who would she return to? There was no point in living a life without purpose. Being with Shinji was now Asuka's purpose, without him, she was nothing.

* * *

Rei returned from the kitchen to find Shinji seated on the floor looking as if he were an injured puppy. He cradled his ear and looked up at her with eyes that seemed to beg for forgiveness.

"Thank you" Shinji said as he accepted the plastic bag of ice from Rei. He winced in pain as he placed the compress on his reddened appendage.

"You look as if you're waiting for me to say something" Rei said as she stared at him blankly.

Surprised at the callousness of Rei's response Shinji hesitated before speaking, "Well I…"He looked away apparently uncomfortable with the way she was looking at him.

_Good_, she thought inwardly. She thought it might be somewhat childish, the mind games she was playing with him, but she couldn't stop herself. She was still angry and craved some kind of vengeance, now that Shinji was safely hers again.

"I…I just told you I loved you" Shinji explained, still keeping his head lowered.

"I heard you perfectly well" Rei said as she glanced away, providing Shinji a moment of comfort from her ever constant gaze.

"You…you don't believe me" Shinji said as he dropped the bag to the ground and covered his face with his hands.

She sat down next to him and placed the dropped bag gently on his ear. She waited for him to look in her eyes before speaking. "Of course I believe you. I can tell if you're lying, remember?" Rei said. This brought a slight smile from Shinji as he reached up to touch her hand. "I also realize now that you're a fickle teenage boy who's interest in girls fluctuates. You have a difficult time accepting responsibility for your actions and your loyalty is less than admirable"

Shinji's hand quickly dropped back to the floor. "So I have lost you"

"Shinji as I hope you've come to understand, I believe myself different from most girls my age. Saying that you love me won't magically make things normal between us" Rei said even as she hoped to hear him say those words again. She wanted to assert herself and show him that she wouldn't be toyed with. She wanted to make it clear that she was smarter than that. It was necessary to punish him for what he had done to her, and the only way she could think to do that was to shut herself off, even though all she really wanted was for him to hold her.

"I…I didn't say that because I wanted you to forgive me, I said it because I meant it.

Rei figured she should consider herself lucky that Shinji even chose her above Asuka. What right did she have to be angry anyway? But there was still a part of her that couldn't let it go. "Shinji…I can forgive, but I cannot forget. We will get past this, but you must know that I do not trust you right now" Her anger began to fade slightly as she saw the pain on Shinji's face. She closed her eyes and said, "I'll be honest with you, I desperately want to forgive you, I want to forget that this ever happened, but for some reason I can't let it go right now. You hurt me Shinji, I don't know how I should handle this but I'm doing the best that I can" A warm feeling ran through her body as Shinji gently took hold of her hand. The look on his face showed that he was unsure of what her reaction would be. His uneasiness lessened as she placed her other hand on top of his.

"Rei, you've always seemed like you're a really open-minded person, always trying to view things from other people's eyes. Have you tried to do that for me? Have you tried to imagine what I've gone through? I know this sounds like an excuse, and maybe it is, but please try and understand"

He was right. Rei had an inability to use her logical side whenever it came to Shinji. Her emotions almost totally took over. She had never really considered Shinji's position in all this, never imagined how hard it must have been for him to try and be kind to both girls. Perhaps Asuka was a completely different person around him. Rei knew that for each person you interact with your personality changes, essentially making a unique character for everyone you know. Was it impossible to believe that Asuka could drastically change when she was alone with Shinji, making her someone worthy of his kindness and affection. "Shinji…I…"

"Rei regardless of how I felt, I still failed you. Now I that think about it, I probably could have saved Asuka a lot of pain if I would have just told her that I liked you. But I just couldn't say it. She's so fragile Rei, I know you think she acts tough, but when she's around me she's a different person"

Her heart fluttered as he put her hand up to his cheek and closed his eyes. "Shinji…" Rei whispered as she ran her free hand through his hair. His kindness cut like a knife through what was left of her anger. Rei couldn't decided whether or not it was a good thing that he had this much control of her emotions.

"Even though I know it's going to hurt her, I'll tell her how I feel the next time we meet. Then it'll be over" Shinji said as he looked into her eyes.

_You have no idea_, Rei thought. "Shinji if you tell her that you don't want to be with her, she will…have a mental breakdown, to put it lightly. I tell you with no exaggeration that her affection for you is the only thing keeping her alive right now"

Shinji paused for a moment, apparently unable to comprehend what she had just said. "What!" Shinji exclaimed. "There's no way she would do that!"

"On her own, probably not. But I've pushed her to the edge, changed her psyche so that she has nothing else to hold on to" Rei explained.

Shinji reacted with mixture of fear and anger, "Wha…why, why would you do something like that!"

"I wish I could say that it was an accident. But I will accept responsibility for what I've done. She was attacking me as usual, but she went too far and I…pushed back" Rei explained as she folded her hands into her lap.

"You pushed back? You said she might die! How could you do something like that to her?"

"Shinji, you never trade blows with the enemy. You try never to strike anyone, but when you must, you strike one blow, but such a harsh one that your enemy can never, never strike back. That is the idea behind the technique I used"

"Enemy? Asuka isn't the enemy! What do you mean technique? What are talking about? How could you do something like that Rei? I thought you were better than that!" Shinji exclaimed, his face red with anger.

"Careful" Rei said, her voice and expression turning cold. "You're the last person I will be lectured by. I have accepted what I have done. But you're trying to turn the anger you feel at your own inadequacy on me" Rei knew, as soon as she spoke, that she was being hypocritical, for her crime was fare more despicable than Shinji's. He had every right to be angry at her. "Shinji, believe me, I know what I've done is wrong. I'm positive I'll pay for it sooner or later" Rei said as she looked away from his eyes.

She watched as the anger disappeared from his face, "Why does it have to be like this? Is it impossible for everyone to be happy? Rei…I don't know how, but I will make this right" Shinji said.

"Shinji this is my fault, you…"

"Stop" Shinji said as he shook his head slowly. "I hurt both of you. In reality you two would probably have been better off if you would have never met me. I have a lot to atone for, I will make things right"

She had never seen him like this before. He had a determination in his eyes that was inspiring. Rei actually believed in him, not just that he meant what he had said but that he could really do it, that somehow he would make things better. She smiled to herself as she thought of how lucky she truly was to have him.

"I need to go, my parents are probably going to yell at me for skipping work today" Shinji said as he got up and began to head for the door.

Rei found that she was suddenly saddened at the thought of him leaving her without any type of affectionate good bye. She really couldn't blame him however, it was her own doing. She had rejected him almost every time he tried to touch her. "Shinji…"

Without turning around he answered, "I'll see you tomorrow"

Before Shinji could reach for the doorknob Rei came from behind and wrapped her arms around him in tight embrace. She closed her eyes and placed her head on his shoulder, doing her best to enjoy every second of this feeling that had been so suppressed under layers of pain and anger. She placed a single kiss on the back of his neck and said, "I…I'll miss you" She knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear but she hoped it would suffice.

Shinji turned around and smiled at her. He lightly caressed her face as he said, "Rei, I love you, we'll be alright"

Rei blushed brightly as Shinji walked out and closed the door behind him.

* * *

As usual, Rei woke an hour before her alarm sounded that it was time to get up. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and lazily stretched her arms and legs. After kicking the covers off her body she laid there and thought about the events that were bound to unfold during the day. "Asuka" Rei said to herself. Eventually Rei would have to see first hand, the repercussions of what she had done. Rei thought about all the possible scenarios that could have happened after their fight, from the benign to the most violent.

When she had waited to the last possible minute she quickly got dressed and made her way down stairs. Small tears formed in her eyes as she stepped into the offensive sunlight. She was effectively immobilized as she stood there by the door with her hand shielding her face waiting for her pupils to adjust.

"What are you doing?"

Though she couldn't see him she could tell by the voice that it was Shinji. She smiled to herself at how glad she was to have him near her again. She really did miss him when he was away. "I can't see right now, give me a minute to adjust to the light"

"It's not even that bright out here" Shinji said as he looked up into the sky. "We're gonna be late if you don't hurry"

"So we'll be late" Rei said slightly annoyed at his impatience. _This is what I get for dressing in the dark_, Rei thought. "Okay, I think I can manage now" Rei said as she squinted to get a better view of what Shinji was holding in his hands.

"Here, my mom made these and wanted me to give you one" Shinji said handing her a small deformed pastry. "She rarely bakes, but occasionally she gets in these moods where she makes a gigantic batch of…well whatever these things are. She forces my dad and I to eat them out of pity and guilt, but I've never seen her eat anything she's personally made, always saying she's on a diet. She even bullies the neighbors into trying her experiments"

Rei examined the quasi-muffin, then said with slight exasperation, "Your mother can't cook?"

Shinji smiled in embarrassment, "No, not really"

"Neither can I"

End Chapter 12


	13. Eros

**In the Mind of A Child Chapter 13**

Eros

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close. The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold. Even though you're next to me I still feel so alone, I just can't give you anything for you to call your own.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

"Come on Rei, there's no way it tastes that bad" Shinji said as he watched Rei crouch over and massage her jaw. 

Rei responded by swatting at him with her free hand. "You're right, it didn't taste bad at all. It had no taste" She explained as she spit out the horrid pastry Shinji's mother had made. "The problem is that it was solid in the middle. I think I chipped a tooth"

"It's not polite to talk about my mother's cooking like that" Shinji said doing his best to stay out of arms reach.

"It's also impolite to give your girlfriend a potentially lethal pastry"

"Girlfriend?" Shinji's eyes went wide in disbelief. "You…you're my girlfriend now?"

_Damn it,_ Rei thought to herself. She couldn't believe she had let that slip. There was no way she could play it off, knowing Shinji, he would aggravate her until he got a response. Instead of replying she simply acted as if her tooth were causing her incredible pain. "Mmm" She mumbled making a pained face.

"Rei! What do you mean girlfriend?" Shinji exclaimed. "Were you serious? Aren't you still mad at me?" He begged gently pulling on her arm.

"Mmm!" Rei said as she easily broke Shinji's hold on her wrist and began to walk toward school.

Shinji stood there watching Rei walk away with a gigantic grin on his face, "Rei wait up!" Shinji exclaimed as he hurried to walk beside her. "Hey, since we're dating; does that mean that I can hold your hand and hug you in public now?"

Rei stopped and turned to directly face him, "If you continuously pester me, I will retract everything I said" With that she continued walking, but not before interlocking her fingers in his.

With Shinji contentedly swinging their conjoined hands playfully back and forth Rei took out her small notebook and began scanning through its contents. Being taller than her, Shinji could easily see what was written on its tattered pages. "Rei, why does my name appear so much on this page?"

"Like I said before Shinji, you're my first case study. This particular section contains evidence that you have an Oedipus complex. What's especially disturbing is that you should have grown out of that when you were about eleven"

Shinji rolled his eyes and said, "I'm almost scared to ask but…"

"The Oedipus complex normally occurs during the phallic stage of psychosexual development, it's when a boy wishes to sexually possess his mother. My theory is that since you can't have your mother you've sought out the next best thing, namely me"

It took Shinji an abnormally long amount of time for what he had just heard to sink in. His over exaggerated response more than made up for the delayed reaction however. "Oh my God, that's disgusting Rei!"

"I agree, it is quite disconcerting" Rei said without taking her eyes away from her book.

"What else have you written about me?" Shinji said making an unsuccessful grab at Rei's notebook.

"It's confidential and so intelligently written you'd probably hurt yourself just trying to read it" Rei giggled.

After trying again in vain to snatch Rei's book Shinji lightly poked Rei in the ribs making her jump and squeak. She eyed him angrily and clutched her book tightly to her chest. Shinji, refusing to be beaten, poked her in both ribs at the same time forcing her to squeal and drop her journal to the ground. Before she had a chance to react he had already retrieved the book and began scanning though its pages.

"Shinji, that was uncalled for" Rei muttered as she wrapped her arm around his.

"Don't you need the patient's permission to do a study, this…extensive?" Shinji asked.

"Of course you do. I'm not licensed though so I really don't have to follow those type of rules. That's one of the benefits of being a cocktail psychologist"

"It says here, that I have sleep apnea. What is that?"

"It means you snore" Rei said as she blushed slightly, remembering when she had stayed the night at his house.

"I…I may snore, but you grind your teeth" Shinji responded with a mischievous grin.

Rei's face turned an even deeper shade of red as she quickly disagreed. "How would you know that anyway?"

"Honestly I was really nervous and didn't sleep that well. So I just sat there and kind of watched you. I guess that's kind of weird, huh?" Shinji said as he rubbed the back of his neck and flashed her an embarrassed smile.

It wasn't weird at all. Now that she thought about it, it was actually reassuring to know that someone was looking after her while she slept. Rei had a habit of reviewing previous memories in her mind and could recall with clarity everything about that night. Everything from the way he looked to the conversations they had. Rei was so deep in thought she didn't notice how uncomfortable Shinji was getting. She had, after all completely stopped talking and was now looking at the ground smiling as she milled that night over in her mind.

"Um, so what do you plan to do with all the knowledge in psychology?" Shinji asked trying to loosen the collared shirt of his school uniform.

"Huh? Oh, I plan on getting a doctorate and then after that I'm not really sure. I don't think I'm empathic enough to become a therapist. I don't really have an overwhelming urge to help people. Perhaps a more aggressive use of the skills I have would suit me better. My English isn't all that bad, maybe I could even find employment in America or the UK" Rei noticed that Shinji suddenly seemed a bit distraught, she couldn't figure out why though. "How about you, with you're amazing knowledge of computers?" She had to lightly squeeze his hand to snap him out of whatever it was that he was pondering.

"I'm really not that good" Shinji humbly replied.

"Shinji how many different companies did you have to hack into in order to get that information on me"

"A couple"

"So I ask again, what are you going to do with this amazing talent you have?" Rei repeated.

"I dunno, I'll probably get a degree in network security or something. So are you really thinking of leaving Japan?"

"I…is that what's bothering you?" Rei asked, finding that she was also saddened at the thought of leaving him.

"No, not at all" Shinji laughed uneasily.

_He really is a sweet guy_, Rei thought to herself as she put her head on his shoulder.

They continued walking in silence for a while before Shinji spoke up again, "Rei, have you ever tried to analyze yourself? I just figured that would be the hardest thing to do since you wouldn't really want to find out about you own demons"

"Of course; I believe that it would be hypocritical of me to try and point out other people's flaws if I can't even handle learning about my own. Turn to the first couple of pages if you want to read about me" Rei replied indifferently.

"No, it's really none of my business" Shinji said handing the journal back to Rei.

"I'll tell you, just the same" Rei said with a small smile. "I suppose you should know that I diagnosed myself with schizoid personality disorder a couple of years ago. I haven't really gotten over that yet, I'm still inappropriately unemotional, I have a serious lack of social relationships, and what's worse is, I don't personally see a problem in the way I behave. I have a tendency to intellectualize situations where I'm not comfortable. I also have night terrors from time to time. Back when I lived with Misato she said that I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming. She always thought it was because of what I had been through when I was homeless" Rei explained monotonously. "The last bit of information should be about my fears; I only have two predominate fears in this world. The first is that someday I'll realize I am not as smart as I make myself out to be. The second is that it was a mistake to trust you as much as I do" Rei noted an almost imperceptible change in Shinji's body language in response to her last comment.

"Why is it when you analyze someone you never point out anything positive about their personality? I think it would be just as important to mention a person's strengths as it would be to cite their weaknesses"

Rei responded more out of devil's advocacy than pure disagreement, "It doesn't help to hear about all the things a person's good at because then they will just take that as an excuse to settle back into their old ways"

"Well _you're_ the one with the experience so I won't argue, but I still think you're wrong" Shinji nonchalantly replied.

Rei could tell Shinji had been put off from the comment about her trusting him. He was now blatantly patronizing her. She really couldn't blame him for being upset, but she didn't exactly feel the need to apologize either. "Shinji, you're upset" _He's going to deny it_.

"I'm perfectly fine" Shinji spat.

"Perfectly fine" Rei echoed.

"Yes"

"So if you're not angry then there's some other reason that you stopped holding my hand?" Rei cutely asked while pointing at Shinji's folded arms.

"Yes…I mean…" Shinji stuttered before uncrossing his limbs.

Rei figured she had poked at him enough and tentatively took his hand. "I wasn't trying to attack you with what I said. I didn't mean for you to get upset" She explained, flashing him a small smile.

Shinji nodded in response and added, "One day I'll be able to beat you at these mind games. One day, you won't be able to psychologize everything into being my fault"

Rei giggled at Shinji's invented word and said, "So I suppose you plan on being with me for a while then?"

* * *

"Stand, bow, sit!" Hikari ordered as Misato walked in the classroom. 

"Sorry I'm late everyone!" Misato said cheerfully as she removed her heavy overcoat to reveal a risqué spaghetti strap top.

The collective attention of the male population in the class quickly shifted to Misato's chest, which seemed to bound flamboyantly at her slightest movement.

"Hey Shinji…" Toji whispered from his desk across the room. "If you look really close you can see her nipples!"

"Huh? Really?" Shinji said as he squinted his eyes.

_He's actually leaning forward in his desk to get a better look_, Rei thought as she stared at him and then at her own chest; after deciding she was no match she rolled her eyes and set her gaze to the window.

"Okay everyone, I have a surprise for all of you! We have another transfer student in today! Come on in!" Misato called to someone waiting just outside the door. When the new girl walked in she grabbed her by the shoulders and proudly announced, "She's quite the little celebrity, she's even been offered deals from some major record companies!"

"Hey Shinji!" Toji whispered. "Wasn't she in that swimsuit magazine you were looking at?"

Rei again rolled her eyes while Shinji hurriedly explained that Toji was lying. Rei was about to inform Shinji that she had seen the magazine on his bed the last time she was at his house but the new girl began to speak.

"What's up, my name is Maho Minami" The girl said in almost perfect English. "Where do I sit?" Maho asked looking up at Misato.

Misato winked and said, "Sit beside the boy you think is cutest"

"Fine" Maho replied without hesitation and walked next to Shinji desk. "May I sit next to you?" She asked, switching to Japanese. Shinji apparently forgot how to speak and simply stared at her in wide-eyed wonder.

"Bastard!" Toji yelled from across the room.

"His name is Shinji Ikari and yes, you may sit next to him" Rei answered, showing off her bilingual capabilities.

"Oh you speak English too? Is he your boyfriend?" Maho asked

"It's possible, but he seems rather disinterested in me at the moment. I'm Rei Ayanami." She waved off Shinji as he tried to inquire what they were going on about.

"I didn't mean to be rude, but he is _kawaii_" Maho said as she winked at Shinji.

"Rei, what is she saying?" Shinji begged.

"She just said that Toji was cute" Rei lied. Maho nodded in agreement.

"Yo…you…play Beck?" Shinji asked testing his English.

Maho giggled and explained in Japanese, "Yes, my boyfriend is the singer for the band Beck. They just got back from their American tour.

Rei breathed a sigh of relief at hearing that this new girl had a boyfriend.

"You mean Koyuki Tanaka? That's awesome! I love their music!" Shinji exclaimed.

"Yeah, he might even go to school here! I can't wait!"

"That would be great! Hey Rei did you hear that, we're gonna have two celebrities going to our school!"

"Great" Rei flatly said, not looking up from her journal. She was busy starting a new chapter on the analysis of Maho. After writing nothing but negative comments she gave up and decided she wasn't exactly in the most objective frame of mind.

"Shinji you really shouldn't talk to strange new girls while your girlfriend is sitting right there watching you" She then winked at him and half-whispered "You should wait until we're alone"

At that comment Rei reopened her book and was about to write more negativity when Misato joined the conversation.

"Wow, Shinji you're quite the playboy aren't you! Not only do you have Rei wrapped around your little finger but the new girl as well, and she's famous! I bet poor Rei is as jealous as can be! How _do_ you manage? I bet all the guys in class are going to be really upset at you!" Toji yelled his agreement from across the classroom.

"Rei, I was only kidding. What is she going on about?" Maho asked in English, the annoyance apparent on her face.

"How are you gonna compete with fame and beauty Rei? I bet you're gonna have to start _putting out_ huh?" Misato asked playfully nudging the blushing girl.

"Misato, what do you think Principal Akagi would say if she found out about your special brew of coffee…especially since it raises your blood-alcohol level" Rei asked without looking up from her book.

Defeated, Misato slumped away to begin the days lesson.

* * *

At lunch Shinji and Rei were joined by Maho at their usual table. Rei was slightly disappointed because she thought that with the new girl there Shinji would be totally engrossed in whatever she had to say. To his credit though, his infatuation seemed to have ended and he sat quietly eating his meal. Before Rei could start a conversation Toji interrupted, "Oy Shinji, ya don't mind if we sit here" Without waiting for a response Toji, Clous, and Sousuke had all seated themselves on Maho's side of the table. 

"Aren't your girlfriends going to be angry that you're over here ogling the new girl?" Rei asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"Unquestionably" Sousuke replied and resumed staring blankly at Maho.

Not long after Shinji's friends had sat down, more people began streaming toward the group. Eventually a second table had to be added to accommodate the onlookers. It seemed like the entire cafeteria was packed in their area.

After lunch Shinji spent the entire day apologizing for the way he had acted around Maho. Being slightly vindictive she enjoyed ignoring him and pretending to be angry and hurt. She supposed it was just something girls were supposed to do. She didn't expect it to come so naturally however.

* * *

When class ended Rei and Maho, were waiting for Shinji in front of the school for no longer than five minutes before the crowd from the cafeteria swarmed around them like buzzards would road kill. By the time Shinji appeared he had to fight his way through the flock just to stand next to Rei. Shinji's friends had taken to being the celebrity's bodyguards and were forming a line to hold off the crowd. 

"Shinji is she really this popular?" Rei asked, having to raise her voice considerably to be heard over the ever-growing mob.

"I…I guess so" Shinji replied. "This is getting out of hand, I think the entire school is out here"

Maho didn't seem to mind at all and was all smiles as she happily answered everyone's repetitive questions. Rei on the other hand was beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic and started looking for an escape route.

"**Get out of my way**!" A familiar voice demanded.

Rei recognized the accent immediately, and she could also see a patch of scarlet hair swimming it's way through the crowd like shark. _It's time_, Rei thought to herself as she left Shinji's side and made her way to Toji. "I need you to do me a favor"

"Oy stop pushin!" He screamed at the horde. "What do you want Ayanami?"

"No matter what happens, keep Shinji out of this" Rei commanded.

"What the hell?" Toji asked bewildered.

"Just promise me!" Rei exclaimed.

"Promise you wha…" Toji couldn't finish his sentence because Rei had been knocked to the ground by the irate Red Head.

The mass of people were shocked to silence as they saw Rei on her back, rubbing her jaw. The stillness was lifted as people recovered and began to cheer on the fighters.

"Rei!" Shinji yelled as he ran for the injured girl.

"Toji!" Rei exclaimed as she watched Shinji push his way past him. Before he could make it any further Toji reacted and swung him around, forcing him to the concrete.

"Get up Ayanami!" Asuka shouted. "I don't know what you did to me, but you're going to pay"

Asuka looked as if she had been to hell and back, her hair was messed, and her clothes were tattered and dirty. She had a dark purple ring under her left eye where someone had obviously hit her. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired looking but they were full of life. _She's recovering_, Rei thought to herself as she slowly began to get to her feet.

"I said get up!" Asuka demanded as she violently grabbed Rei by the collar. "Do you have any idea what you've done to me?"

Rei's arms hung limply by her side as she made no attempt to fight back in any way. "I…I'm sorry" Rei said looking Asuka directly in her eyes.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Asuka said as she slapped Rei and then shoved her to the ground again.

"Let me up! Get off me!" Shinji screamed as he saw Rei go down again.

"Hey boys I need some help over here, he's stronger than he looks!" Toji exclaimed and was soon joined by Sousuke and Clous.

"Fight me damn it!" Asuka commanded and kicked at Rei's feet.

_I deserve this and worse_, Rei thought to herself as she tried in vain to get back up. "Asuka, I'm sorry" She said hanging her head.

"I said don't apologize to me!" Asuka screamed and kicked Rei in the stomach. "I'm wasting my time, you're not even worth it!" She said as she picked up Rei's book bag, emptied it's contents and threw it back at her. She began to walk away kicking Rei's books across the courtyard but stopped and returned to say one last thing, "Stay away from Shinji, freak"

"No" Rei replied.

"What did you say?" Asuka asked as she neared Rei.

"I said no" Rei repeated.

"Bitch!" Asuka yelled as she kicked at Rei's ribs again, however before it connected, Rei caught her ankle and shoved it backward. Asuka was so caught off guard by Rei's defense she lost her balance and stumbled. "Whatever!" Asuka said before shoving her way through the crowd.

Asuka had just gotten out of view of the mob before the bile began to burn in the back of her throat. She dropped to her knees and dry heaved until it became difficult for her to breath. After seeing the dried blood on her hands she started to sob uncontrollably.

* * *

Back at the school the crowd had dissipated enough so Rei could see that Shinji was still on his back fighting all three of his friends. "You can let him up now" Rei coughed. Within moments he was by her side cradling her fragile body. 

"Rei, are…are you okay?" Shinji asked wiping the hair away from her eyes.

"I'm perfectly fine" Rei replied with a smile as a tear rolled down her bruised cheek. "We saved her"

End Chapter 13


	14. Inquisition

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 14**

Inquisition 

The meeting of two people is like a contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed.

-Ayanami, Rei

* * *

_Well I've never been to the Principal's office for something like this before. _Rei thought to herself as she stared past the window and out into the quad. Small tornadoes of golden colored leaves played among the loitering students, knocking over beverages and lifting illicitly short skirts. Several of the more animated students were reenacting the "fight" that the entire school had just witnessed, pretending to punch and kick each other into submission. The bell that signaled the end of the day's studies had already rung over half an hour ago, yet there was still a sizable group of onlookers patiently awaiting the verdict of the teenage combat. 

After Rei's initial defeat at the hands of Asuka the administration arrived just in time to have no impact on the violence whatsoever. Instead of offering her a helping hand or at least a tissue, to wipe the now congealed blood off of her lip the Principal and her lackeys had Rei immediately escorted to the office. Asuka on the other had proved to be a different matter entirely and could be seen at the center of the quad yelling at the top of her lungs. Not to be outdone by the loudmouthed red head, Doctor Akagi reciprocated with equal ferocity, while the somewhat embarrassed staff stood idle and watched their superior bellow insults that could cost her severe reprimands, if not worse. Only when she rolled the sleeves on her jacket, undid her earrings and marched towards Asuka like she was about to throw blows did her staff finally step in and cease the engagement. Rei chuckled to herself as the prestigious principal was hauled away against her will.

Refocusing herself on more important matters, Rei began to run through the different scenarios the principal would inflict on her once she arrived. Rei knew she had done nothing wrong but with the way she was thrown into this office it was evident that the principal was going to try and pin something on her. She also had no wish to impose administrative punishment on Asuka since it was Rei's vault she was thrown to such levels of barbarism in the first place. For a brief moment Rei thought about riffling through the principal's desk for anything incriminating, there was also her cell phone, which lay just within her reach. Rei decided against this method due to the fact that in this instant, the principal was an innocent and was simply enforcing the discipline of the school. Whatever Doctor Akagi was going to throw at her she would just have to handle using only her wits.

Rei lost her train of thought as she heard a familiar voice just outside the office door, it was Shinji and he was pleading desperately for Rei's expedient release and relocation to the school infirmary.

"Sit down!" Snarled Doctor Akagi as she stepped through her Maplewood office door and slammed it behind her. Rei wasn't sure who she was talking to, and almost involuntarily took a seat. "Not you, Ayanami, I want you standing for this" She said as she took off her calf length medical coat revealing a conservative but very feminine white blouse. After tossing her coat over the back of her chair Ms. Akagi walked to the window and peeked out of the blinds. "It's cold outside, no?"

"Um…yes ma'am" Rei responded less forcefully than she wanted to. To be completely honest she idolized Dr. Akagi. Out of everyone in the entire school she was the only one that Rei actually respected. In her early thirties she was the classic, textbook version of a beautiful woman through and through. Not only was she physically attractive but also she was amazingly intelligent, receiving her doctorate in advanced biophysics at the precociously young age of only twenty-five. Why she became the principal of an inner-city school Rei would never comprehend. It was rumored that at the beginning of her career she was the head of advanced artificial life research but was fired after a series of failed experiments and overall mismanagement. Due to the fact that Dr. Akagi was something of an icon to Rei she refused to believe any of the ridiculous, if well founded gossip.

"Do not call me ma'am, I'm not you mother. You will refer to me as Doctor" She said without looking away from the window.

"I never knew my mother" Rei said hoping the self pitying comment would throw her off and force her to take a lighter approach on the interrogation.

"I couldn't care less Ayanami, but nice try," Dr. Akagi said with a halfhearted chuckle in her voice as if Rei had just made a joke.

_Well there goes the passive approach_, Rei thought as she watched the insensitive principal open the shutters on both windows allowing so much daylight in the poorly lit room that it forced Rei to squint. When her eyes adjusted she found that the doctor had taken a seat in her black executive chair and was now heavily silhouetted. "Dr. Akagi, am I being interrogated?" Rei asked, now feeling highly uncomfortable with the change in environment.

"Well you're certainly not here to receive an award for exemplary conduct." She said as she reached for the cat shaped ashtray on her desk and lit a half smoked cigarette.

"Doctor, I am completely innocent, there is absolutely…"

"There is no such thing as innocence Ayanami, only degrees of guilt."

Rei's mouth hung agape at the comment but she recovered quickly and began her counter attack on this so-called examination. "Doctor, I don't even know why I'm in your office, perhaps you haven't noticed but I'm the only person that received injuries in that little conflict outside. Injuries which might I add, remain untreated." Rei said with more confidence than she felt. The fact that she couldn't look the doctor in the face was severely damaging her ability to control the conversation, still she continued unabated. "Since I've evidently assumed the responsibility of informing you of you're ignorance; perhaps I should ask you this, are you aware of the legal implications of disabling a federally mandated smoke dictator?" Rei smiled to herself as she saw the doctor shift uncomfortably in her seat but was dismayed when she realized it was only to fetch another cigarette out of her desk.

"Hmm, perhaps I credited you with more intelligence than you rate." Said Doctor Akagi after taking a long drag off her newly lit cigarette. "I assume you threw those accusations against me in hopes of stifling any allegations I may have against you. Realize this child, you are not the only one in this school that understands a thing or two about psychology. I can tell by your body language alone that you've already played the only cards you have, and so early in the game too. Perhaps I should ask you a question now since you obviously like to play the blackmail game. Are _you_ aware that I control your graduation from this school? I assume you plan on going to college one day, plan on doing something with all that intelligence you claim to have?"

Rei had never felt so over matched in her entire life. To say that Doctor Akagi was a formidable opponent in mind warfare would have been a gross understatement. The most perturbing fact was that Rei honestly had done nothing wrong, that didn't stop her however from feeling more guilty than she ever had in her entire life. "You're…you're bluffing", Rei stammered.

"Am I? I suppose we'll find out in a couple of years will we not?"

"I have done nothing wrong!" Rei exclaimed, completely losing her composer.

After irritably throwing her still smoking cigarette in a cup of coffee Doctor Akagi rose to her feet and exclaimed, "Silence child, I will determine your innocence in this matter! I am not so easily deterred as your alcoholic teacher! You continue to test my patience; you will soon find it has its limits…unlike my authority."

"I…"

"I'll ask you this once, Ayanami, only once, and before you answer understand that I know more about you than you can possibly comprehend. What do you know about the drugs that have been recently found at this school?"

Rei almost laughed at the preposterous question. _So that's what this is all about_, Rei thought to herself gleefully. No wonder the questioning had been so intimidating and the doctor so vicious. "Doctor Akagi, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I have never experimented with any kind of controlled substance." Rei said as her confidence and mental ability returned in full force. "And if I can quote what you said earlier, you should be able see that, by body language alone. I understand the tactics of questioning you use, this technique in particular. You have no proof whatsoever and simply wished a confession based on fear and terrorization."

The doctor returned calmly to her seat, her usual demeanor returning as quickly as if a switch had flipped it. "Perhaps…you are worthy of the intellect you're credited with. Anyways I believe you. Your friend, Sohryu is she involved in anything illegal?"

"Absolutely not"

"That's good to hear, a bit surprising, but good to hear. Still I find that I'm still a bit angry from her outrageous behavior outside." Doctor Akagi said after taking a sip from her coffee cup.

Rei winced and said, "If I remember correctly weren't you about to fight her right there infront of the entire student body?"

"Regardless, I feel a small reciprocation is in order. Send her in, I'll show you the true power of my inquisitorial abilities." Doctor Akagi said with a vindictive grin.

Rei did as she was told and Asuka entered the room and stood in front of the doctor's desk, hands on her hips, defiant as ever. Her self-discipline was about to change dramatically however.

"Asuka Langley Sohryu, you are thrice damned by action, association and belief!" Growled Doctor Akagi as she slammed her fist against her desk so hard the poor red head jumped in surprise. "Ayanami has confessed to your transgressions in exchange for immunity of any charges raised against her. I know that you've been trafficking drugs in my school and you will be purged!"

Rei has known Asuka for a fairly long time, seen her confident, obnoxious, and happy. More recently Rei had seen Asuka in possibly the worst state she had ever been in, but nothing could compare to the look she had on her face at this particular moment.

"Confess and go cleanly!" Roared Doctor Akagi.

"I…I…I have no idea…"

"Come now Sohryu everyone has dabbled a bit in the illegal. Even I once had a small meth-lab in my college dorm room. How do you think I paid for my doctorate?"

"Oh my God, Doctor is that true?" Rei asked, perhaps more dumbfounded than Asuka.

"Not in the slightest, but it was worth a try." Doctor Akagi said with a slight grin. "Asuka evidently disliked my joke. Well too bad, I'd like to think I'm letting you off easy, considering that I should expel you on vulgarity alone."

Asuka simply waved a hand in acknowledgment. Rei couldn't really blame her considering what the doctor had just accused her of.

"Now down to the more trivial matter at hand. You two were fighting, yes?" She paused, presumably for dramatic effect. "Who started it?" She asked casting her gaze in Asuka's direction.

Asuka shifted uncomfortably and was about to speak but Rei cut her off, "I started it, it was my fault"

"Would the rest of the student body agree with that confession? Would Asuka?"

"Since when has the student body's opinion ever mattered here?" Rei asked.

"Never" Doctor Akagi answered, slightly shrugging her shoulders. "Well, with Ayanami's confession I have no choice but to suspend her for no less than seven days."

"You've gotta be kidding me" Asuka finally chimed in. "I'm just as guilty as her, if not more so. If she's getting suspended then I'll accept no less punishment."

"But Ms. Sohryu, according to Ayanami here, your as innocent as can be."

"Ayanami's a lying bitch but I still won't let her get punished for something that I've done."

Rei was, to say the least, astonished. Never in any scenario she could have predicted would Asuka have stood up for her like that. There was absolutely no reason she should, they both knew what Rei had done and it was ruining her attempt at some sort of twisted karma where by punishing herself she could somehow make up for what so had done to Asuka.

"You know girls, if I didn't know any better I'd say you two were friends. Actually better than friends, sisters even, if I could be so bold"

Rei and Asuka looked to each other speechless at such an insult to both of their family lines before laughing spitefully. Even Doctor Akagi stopped writing and joined in the laughter.

Still chuckling she said, "Imagine that, you two…sisters!" Her laughing continued to become more mocking and as Rei thought more menacing. "That's why I've decided to overturn my original decision about Rei in favor of a more beneficial approach to the little problem you two seem to have. So, in a monumental display of mercy I have decided instead to assign each of you a month of after school clean up duty…together…every day…for a month."

"Mother of God…", mouthed Rei and Asuka simultaneously.

"I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't enjoy the faces you two are making right now" The good doctor said with a malicious grin as she took another sip of her coffee, still oblivious that there was a used cigarette floating around in there somewhere. "Oh and since I'm feeling especially generous" She said with such an obnoxious smile it made Rei want to kill her. "…you will both write a 'positive' report about each other once the month is up. You two girls _will_ become friends or I swear on everything you hold holy that I will banish you both back to junior high and retard the scores on any exam you take for years to come. Believe me, I'm just corrupt enough to do it. Now be gone, before I get really nasty."

"You're psychotic, you know that right?" Asuka asked, through gritted teeth.

"Eh, its been suggested"

With that the two girls left the office, walked past Shinji and the assorted group of students and practically shoved each other into an unlocked janitorial closet, slamming the door behind them.

"What the hell were you thinking?!?" Asuka yelled and then gagged at the overwhelming smell of disinfectants and industrial cleaners. "Look at what you've done to us now!" Asuka said fanning her hand in front of her face in a futile attempt to ward off the pungent odor.

Rei's first response was garbled because she had placed her shirt over her nose, "What I've done?" Rei exclaimed wiping at her tearing eyes. "The whole reason we're in this ridiculous mess is because _you _just had to go and pretend you have a moral code. If you would have just let them suspend me then we could have avoided this!" Rei began to feel dizzy, and placed her hand on a shelf but instantly regretted as she pulled her hand back to reveal a mysterious sticky material that looked as if it had actually evolved into sentience.

"I beat the hell out of you, and you didn't even fight back, who the hell does that? You honestly believe I could let you get in trouble after doing what I did? I may not like you Ayanami, as a matter of fact I hate you, but there's wrong, then there's wrong and then there's that"

"Asuka, you don't understand, what I did to you was so much worse. It could have killed you, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest."

"I know you're not" Asuka replied, her eyes cast towards the floor. "Believe me, you almost succeeded. But I could have done the same when I attacked you. Rei I kicked you while you were on the ground, I kicked you hard, I _wanted_ to hurt you. For a while there I thought I had actually killed you. I want none of your sympathy"

"So what do we do now?" Rei asked, the back of her throat now sore from the fumes.

"Now we leave this room before we're asphyxiated" Asuka replied as she began to open the door.

"Asuka, wait"

"What?" She replied hastily. "Ayanami I'm never gonna get this smell out of my hair as it is, what do you want?"

"Jesus if you'd just let me say it then we would have been out of here already!" Rei exclaimed.

"Oh so I'm the one wasting time now! You could have said your peace minutes ago, instead you're still here bickering like a child!" Asuka fired back.

"Fine! What about Shinji?" Rei asked, her tone immediately softening.

"What about him?" Asuka asked evenly.

"Asuka, he loves me, we're a couple now" Rei explained finding it excruciatingly hard to say to Asuka's face.

"I know he does." She said looking at the floor. "I've always know, it's evident, anyone with half a teaspoon of gray matter can tell."

"Asuka I'm sorry, I know you have feelings for him to I just…"

"I'll say this much though Ayanami, look him in the eyes, and ask him if he loves me too. With all the mind tricks you have you'll be able to tell instantly that the answer he gives you is a lie."

* * *

Neither one of them had said a word to the other the entire walk home. There was no animosity there but also no great necessity for idle conversation. He held her hand tightly and that was good enough for the both of them. The temperature had dropped dramatically and in the gray sky, dark and misty signs of a heavy rain hung low and ominous. Various sidewalk vendors had already begun prepping for the downpour yet to come, removing advertisements, and placing perishable produce inside whatever business they belonged to. An invisibly fine haze had already dampened the pavement. 

"I like your hair like that." Shinji said as he put his arm around her shoulder in response to her slight shivering.

"You only say that when I have nothing to do with the way it looks." Rei responded playfully, welcoming the warm embrace. She ran a free hand through her hair which was by now moist from the fog that had settled over the city.

"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night at my house tonight? I mean, I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind and my dad would just make us sleep in different rooms this time." Shinji said expectedly.

"I'm sure, thank you for the offer though, I just want to be alone for the night to kind of lick my wounds so to speak." Rei explained as she left Shinji's arms and walked up the first step towards her apartment complex.

"I can understand that, some other time then?" Shinji said trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. "I just…I mean you're hurt and it's gonna rain and everything. I would just like it if you weren't alone tonight, that's all."

Rei smiled at him and put her arms around his neck placing a light kiss on his cheek. "That's sweet, but I'll be fine I promise. Besides I'm sure there'll be many times when I sneak into your room in the middle of the night. That's what teenagers do after all, right?"

"Well if you tried to sneak into our house the security system would electrify you into unconsciousness and have the cops on the premises in less than five minutes. I suppose I'll have to try and tinker with the alarm terminal."

"It would probably be a good idea to have your tinkering done by tomorrow night." Rei said with a wink as she began walking the steps to the entrance of her building.

"You got it" Shinji said, wearing a devilish grin on his face. He waved his last good byes and started the long trek back to house.

"Shinji…" Rei called before he had taken more than a couple of steps. "Can I ask a question? It might be a bit personal though."

"I've got nothing to hide anymore, ask anything you want" Shinji replied.

"I know you love me, and I know you're with me, don't get me wrong I believe you. I was just wondering…do you love Asuka as well?" A small pause followed and Rei could see the answer to her question before Shinji spoke a word.

End Chapter 14


	15. Opposition

**In the Mind of a Child Chapter 15**

Opposition 

With nothing better to do, no one to come home to, I woefully conclude, to take it out on you. I'm bored to the extreme, this world of foolish dreams, disillusion. But I'm not who I seem to be. Yeah sure I might do harm and bear my right to arm, retribution. If only someone would listen to me.

-A poem by Asuka Langley Sohryu

* * *

"I hate cats." Rei said to herself as she slowly walked down the damp cement steps leading to her apartment's entrance way. Small puddles were still visible in the street and water dripped slowly from the overhang above her head. All was quiet, save for the rustling of small decorative bushes lining the stairwell. It was almost serene, tranquil even, no one was out this early, there were no cars crowding the streets, no noisy children bullying their mothers into buying them toys. To add to the aesthetic quality of the scene displayed before her, a faint rainbow streaked its way across the cloudless sky. Rei could care less for the beauty of Tokyo after a fall rain; it was too early in the morning for rainbows. 

"Morning" Shinji said sleepily after placing a cute, if somewhat juvenile kiss on Rei's forehead. "Um, nice shirt." He commented, as he eyed the oversized long sleeve that flamboyantly advertised Yebisu beer.

"Clever" Rei responded less than enthusiastically. "I was trying to do laundry last night but that cat somehow found a way to spill my entire bottle of laundry detergent on itself. To make matters worse, it sulked around my apartment leaving a trail of slime on everything it touched."

"So is the cat alright?" Shinji asked with concern evident in his voice. "Rei, you didn't just leave him like that did you?"

"Of course I didn't leave him like that." Rei retorted, aggravated by his anxiety over the animal's condition. "I chased it around my apartment for an hour before I cornered it in the bathroom and forced it in the shower. By the time I was done with the little mongrel his hair was all puffed out and smelled like fresh linen. He has no doubts as to who the master is now." Rei explained triumphantly.

"I'm glad you take pride in animal cruelty Rei." Shinji said with disdain.

She simply snorted a reply. Hers was a victory hard fought and well won and she refused to let him steal her thunder. As she reached down to take his hand she noticed his palm had been badly wrapped in a white medical bandage and secured with a safety pin. Obviously Shinji had done the treatment himself. "What happened?" Rei asked, genuinely concerned. As she unwrapped the cloth and inspected the wound she saw that it was a burn of some kind, a rather small burn compared to the amount of bandage Shinji had used to treat himself

"Well…" Shinji started but paused, most likely in order to change his story so as to not be as embarrassing. He stared at his flexing palm for a moment before finding a version he found acceptable. "Remember how you told me yesterday to try and disable the security system to the window of my room? Well it didn't go as well as expected."

"Shinji!" Rei exclaimed. "I can't believe you got hurt over something I jokingly told you to do!" She said half scolding him and half apologizing for placing the idea in his head to begin with.

"Well, I really wanted you to be able to sneak into my room tonight." Shinji explained still flexing his injured hand.

Rei couldn't help but laugh; Shinji was proving to be more of an average guy than even he knew. Stereotypical or not, she still thought it was cute, and decided to pamper him a bit. Taking his hand, she gently rewrapped the injury and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Oh Shinji, you're so sweet." Rei cooed. Noticing the smile on his face, she continued to feed his ego a bit more. "So you hacked into the security system and disabled the electricity to your window and tested it on yourself to save me from any injury I might sustain. That's very admirable."

Shinji nodded his agreement and said, "Well the security is off now so there is absolutely no danger in climbing to my window now."

Smiling the best smile she could muster this early in the morning she said, "I assure you that your efforts won't be wasted."

Rei would later find out that Shinji had in fact failed to hack into the security system. Undeterred by this fault, he decided to try his hand at electrically rewiring the cabling box outside of his house. When he tested his changes, he found that he had indeed grounded out the window. Satisfied that he had completed his mission he marched up to his room only to be electrified and knocked to the floor by his own doorknob. Shinji's father, who had seen the entire event, thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. After recovering from his fit of laughter Mr. Ikari then proceeded to scold Shinji, complaining in length about how high the utility bill was going to be now that Shinji had wasted all that electricity.

* * *

_Finally_, Rei thought as she gathered her belongings. She even allowed herself a moment of joy at being done with school before remembering she had a whole hour of after school cleanup left. 

"I guess I'll be walking to work alone for a while." Shinji said with an apologetic grin as he zipped up his book bag.

"It appears so." Rei responded before she wrapped her arms around him and placed a kiss on his cheek. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Asuka staring at them angrily.

"Are you still planning on coming over tonight?" Shinji asked expectedly.

"Yes, for the sixth time," Rei exasperatedly answered. "Just make sure you have the security disabled and I'll be over after I change out of this ridiculous shirt." Rei added as she tugged on the garment.

"Classy Ayanami, real classy," Asuka chided as she approached from across the classroom. "Yebisu beer huh? I knew you had fashion problems but this is just sad. I wouldn't put that shirt on even if you paid me."

"Of course you wouldn't, you're more accustomed to removing your clothing for money."

"Funny." Asuka replied unperturbed by Rei's insult. "Shinji, I don't understand why you're with such a vulgar girl." She said as she wrapped her arms around him lovingly.

Rei clenched her fists and said through gritted teeth, "Vulgar or not, he's still with me and you're still alone." Rei couldn't tell what was more infuriating, that Asuka was sexually harassing Shinji or that he was sitting there like an idiot and letting her. _He'll pay later_.

Asuka sighed dramatically before putting her head on Shinji's shoulder. "You know Shinji, she's right. I'm alone, all alone, and I can tell you're unhappy because regardless of how smart Ayanami is, there are just certain things a book can't teach a girl how to do." Asuka said before nibbling lightly on Shinji's ear.

"Bitch!" Rei exclaimed as she reared back to deliver a haymaker to Asuka's jaw.

"Bring it!" Asuka roared as she shoved Shinji out of the way so violently he toppled over his own feet and fell to the floor.

"Perhaps I should have made it a semester of clean up."

Both girls stopped in mid swing and turned to see Doctor Akagi standing in the doorway of the classroom. She was clad in her trademark white lab coat and thin-framed black eye glasses, which she pushed up the bridge of her nose with her index finger.

"Girls, girls, girls" Doctor Akagi smiled threateningly as she picked up a metallic meter stick and practiced a series of sword-like chopping motions. "Do you remember the drugs I asked you two about yesterday? I'm sure you do, anyway, that turned out to be a rumor. Evidently there are no drugs at this school." She explained still displaying a grin that promised nothing but the foulest intentions. "There are no drugs here, but I assure you, if I catch you two fighting again, there _will _be something illegal found in your lockers the next time I do a random inspection. Understand?"

"You can't do that!" Shinji exclaimed after he had gotten to his feet.

"I'm the principal, there's nothing I can't do. Now be gone worm."

Suitably defeated Shinji waved his goodbyes and left the room without another word.

"Now, are we quite clear as to the repercussions of more squabbling?"

"Ye…yes ma'am." Rei and Asuka answered in unison.

"Good. Hikari, they will now be mopping the main hallway as well as raking the front lawn." Doctor Akagi said as she stalked out of the classroom still carrying the meter stick like a lethal weapon.

"Ayanami, Sohryu, will you come up here please?" Hikari the class representative called from the front of the classroom. She had wrapped a green waitress's apron around herself and was in the process of changing shoes. Rei and Asuka did as they were told and approached her with a defeated look on their faces. This would be the first time either one of them had ever participated in the cleanup, each for their respective reasons. Rei never helped with cleanup because normally she would have left class already, having deemed it unnecessary to stay until the droning lecture was over. Asuka on the other hand had her status as captain of the cheerleading squad to keep her from the more menial aspects of high school. "Okay guys, its really not that bad of a job, I've been doing the cleanup ever since I became class rep. Aside from the hallway and the front lawn all that's required is that you move all the desks out of the classroom, sweep, then mop, then move the desks back in. After that you have to clean the chalkboard, dust off the erasers, water the plants, and finally make sure you have the coffee maker ready for Ms. Misato in the morning. Normally three other students and I are assigned with these tasks but for some reason, Doctor Akagi has instructed me to make sure that you two are the only ones helping."

"Outstanding." Rei grunted.

"You guys getting in trouble like this really helps me out a lot." Hikari absentmindedly noted as she swiped at a loose strand of hair. "Now I can work an extra hour or so and have enough money to buy that calculator I wanted," she giggled to herself.

"I am so glad that we could help you out." Asuka explained in an overly obvious display of mock beneficence.

"Really? Wow you guys are so sweet!" Hikari exclaimed as she placed a hand over her heart and assumed an absolutely dopey expression.

"You're an idiot." Asuka said monotonously before she walked away.

Hikari's jaw dropped and looked as if she had never been so surprised in her entire life. She glanced at Rei, supposedly in hopes of finding some explanation for Asuka's outlandish behavior. Hikari was even more astonished when Rei shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

"That was a bit harsh." Rei commented as she helped Asuka lift a desk into the main hallway.

"Harsh? I'm still deciding whether to steal her calculator or break it right in front of her." Asuka replied. "Besides, I don't know why you're defending her, I heard you laugh."

The pair continued in silence while they hefted the desks out of the room and dusted off the erasers. As they walked to the janitorial closet at the end of the hallway to fetch the broom and mop bucket Asuka stopped short and said, "Ayanami, are you bored?"

"Not at all, I'm having the time of my life. What kind of idiotic question is that? Of course I'm bored." Rei responded as she began filling the yellow bucket with warm water from the rusted sink.

"I have an idea." Asuka teasingly said.

"An idea? Well congratulations on your ascension from the ranks of the completely retarded." Rei was in absolutely no mood to be conversational. She was still fuming from Asuka's earlier sexual harassment of Shinji.

"Yes an idea, you flat-chested little boy. I want to play a game." Asuka placed her hands on her hips and smirked idiotically

"Asuka would you quit pretending you have intellect to be dramatic and just tell me what you're trying to say."

"Fine! I think we should race. We could divide the hallway, the front lawn, and even the classroom and see who gets finished first. The winner is the first one to clean the chalkboard on her side of the room after everything else is done. The loser has to bring all the desks back inside by themselves. Well what do you think?"

Rei could only stare at her for the longest time. "That has got to be the single most stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Ha! I knew you'd say that. How about if we raise the stakes?"

"No, this is stupid just get back to wo…" Rei began.

"If you win I'll do all your chores for the entire month. You won't even have to show up."

Asuka was obviously baiting her, but Rei had to admit it was a tempting offer. Still it was childish. Rei figured she could make Asuka back down by considerably increasing the penalty for losing. "Interesting, how about we increase the stakes a bit more though? If you lose you have to do all my chores and wear nothing but sweats for the whole month."

"Done." Asuka said without hesitation.

"And if I lose?" Rei tentatively asked.

"Hmm" Asuka rubbed her chin and grinned nastily, "If you lose you have to permanently join the cheerleading squad."

"You can't be serious. Why out of all things you could make me do would you want me to join the cheerleading squad?" Rei asked, noticeably disgusted.

"Well one of the girls just quit the squad so a position has opened up. That and the fact that it'll embarrass you beyond belief of course."

"I'm horribly uncoordinated and I have nev…"

"Yes or no?" Asuka asked offering hand in order to seal the deal.

"Fine." Rei answered as she shook Asuka's offered hand.

"One more thing."

"What now?" Rei asked angrily.

"You have to tell me what Shinji's answer was. You have to tell me whether or not he said he loved me." Asuka said biting her lower lip.

Rei paused for a moment and finally nodded her head in agreement.

"We'll start the race from here, ready?" Asuka asked taking the pose of a trained runner.

"As I'll ever be."

"3…2…oh yeah, one last thing" Asuka said standing erect again. "No rules!" She yelled as she pushed Rei to the ground.

Rei let out a cry of surprise and tumbled clumsily to the ground but not before she grabbed a handful of Asuka's auburn hair and pulling her to the floor as well. Both girls lay prostrate on the ground tangled in each other's limbs, each refusing to let the other up. Finally Asuka gained the upper hand and squirmed her way out of the huddle, before she could take a step out of the closet Rei grabbed her ankle and tripped her. Rei laughed to herself victoriously as she jumped up and made a dash for the classroom dragging the half filled mop bucket behind her. Once she arrived in the room she immediately started to wash the floor, and spilled large amounts of water on herself.

Only after Rei had finished her side of the room did she notice that Asuka still hadn't followed her in. She nervously took a step outside into the main hallway just in time to see a flash of red hair outside the windowed door leading to the main courtyard. "Damn" Rei said aloud as she realized that Asuka's side of the hallway had already been finished. Fearing that she had fallen behind, Rei hoisted the mop bucket in her hands and emptied the water onto the floor. The soapy liquid splashed on the walls and ran under the doors of closed classrooms, but Rei didn't care and figured it would be dry by the time she was finished raking the lawn. Leaving the pooling water and the mop bucket behind Rei ran to the nearest exit and found that it had been locked from the outside. Upon closer inspection it could be seen that someone had connected a garden hose from the push-handle of the door to a large cylinder shaped support beam. _Asuka_. It appeared the red head was playing dirty.

Instead of wasting time trying to open the door, Rei ran back into her classroom and clambered out of the back window. She landed in a batch of thorny shrubbery and after struggling desperately to free herself from its entangling grasp, sprinted across the lawn to the tool shed. She was dismayed to find that the only remaining rake had been broken in half. Rei cursed and grabbed the half-rake and set off toward the front lawn.

Asuka was still laughing to herself, giddy with the certainty of her triumph when Rei pelted her in the back of the head with a pinecone. Before Asuka had a chance to see what had hit her, Rei had already thrown herself into Asuka's neatly raked pile of leaves.

"No!" The irate red head screamed as she swiped at her tormentor with the rake. Rei easily dodged the attack and scampered over to her side of the lawn leaving Asuka to her mess.

After finally finishing with the lawn Asuka decided a little revenge was in order and ran to Rei's pile of leaves but stopped short when the normally submissive looking girl assumed the stance of a warrior and spun the broken haft of her rake above her head like a trained martial artist. "You're gonna lose Ayanami!" Asuka yelled from her side of the lawn, making all sorts of obscene gestures before Rei shrieked like a crazed lunatic and chased her all the way around to the back of the school before she gave up and returned to her work.

* * *

_That's the last of _it, Rei thought as she stood up and stretched out her throbbing back. She had been working hunched over, compensating for the shortened size of her rake and it had inflicted its toll on her body. Rei had no time to spare, it had taken her much longer to finish the lawn and Asuka had already been back inside the school for quite a while. 

Rei ditched her tools and made a mad dash for the entrance she had seen Asuka previously enter, but not before stomping in every mud hole along the way. As she entered the door on Asuka's side of the hall she made sure to forcefully stomp her feet. She looked behind her and saw a horrid tail of dirt and grass in her wake.

"I'm almost finished Ayanami!" Asuka yelled from inside the classroom.

"I don't think so." Rei said smugly as she walked casually in the room holding her shoes out in front of her for Asuka to see. "Go take a look at your floor."

"You didn't."

"Of course I did." Rei responded and snickered to herself as Asuka groaned in disgust. Her happiness was short lived when she remembered that her side of the hallway was still soaking wet. She desperately began to search for the second mop, her victory would be guaranteed if she could only soak up the standing water.

"You wont find that mop Ayanami, I guarantee you that much. No one will." Asuka said with a crazed look in her eye as she toiled over her ruined floor.

"The second floor closet!" Rei announced and bounded the steps two at a time. When she arrived at her destination she found that the door was wedged shut. After trying several times to open the door in a civilized manner, Rei gave up and charged the door at full speed. She crashed into the janitor's room and stopped only long enough to grab one of the several mops that had been hung on drying nails. When she descended to the second floor she noted with an acute sense of dread that Asuka was no longer there, and neither was the dirt she had so maliciously placed on her floor. "No." Rei said aloud as she ran in the classroom to find that Asuka had just finished washing the blackboard.

"I win." She said through gasping breaths.

"Ah…I…" Rei stammered, unable to believe that she had lost.

"You…you will finish putting the desks back and meet me at the gym for practice in one hour."

* * *

Rei walked slowly into the gymnasium and immediately cringed at the sight of Asuka and her groupies flailing themselves around like idiots. There were girls there that Rei didn't recognize. Twelve all together, dressed in their scarlet and blue outfits. Some of the girls even wore multicolored streamers in their hair and had painted designs on their faces that looked like an epileptic with clubbed hands had drawn them. When the girls noticed Rei they eyed her like she was a walking communicable disease. The fact that the girls were displeased with her presence in their domain granted her a small comfort. 

"Asuka this is stupid." Kaname, the girl with her hair in a billowing ponytail exclaimed. "I don't care about your personal vendetta with Ayanami, you're jeopardizing the whole team."

"I have to agree with Kaname, she's completely untrained." Shinobu, the youngest girl in the group added.

"Look, I don't care if you all hate me, you have good reason to. However when we're here training you will do as I say or you can leave." Asuka paused, after there were no more objections she turned to Rei and said, "Go change"

"Change, change into what?" Rei asked, fearful of the answer she would receive.

"Into your uniform." Asuka said with a smile as she produced one of the revealing garments from a box at her feet.

"You can't be serious. I can feel my IQ slipping by just being in that things presence, it's like its tainted or something." Rei said as she accepted the box and held it at arms length.

"You have five minutes to change over."

* * *

After Rei had slipped into the uniform she was almost scared to look at herself in the mirror for fear of what it would do to her already diminishing self-esteem. She looked down at her exposed legs and sighed, trying in vain to tug the skirt down to a more respectable level. When she finally worked up the courage to gaze at her own reflection she realized that her fears had been well founded. She looked like a complete and total moron. The top was sleeveless and sectioned diagonally in to two colors with the word 'Raptors' written in red print across the chest. The skirt was vertically striped and was barely long enough to cover her upper thighs. The outfit even came with a pair of socks that had tiny fluffy balls attached to them. 

As Rei walked out, the girls all stopped and again stared at her. She instinctively wanted to cover herself up but couldn't decide whether to wrap her arms around her chest or tug at the skirt some more.

"Well at least she's pretty." Kaname offered. "Look, her hair even matches the school colors, just like mine!"

"Well since you're so impressed with her you help her stretch." Asuka spat as she practiced jumping in the air for apparently no reason whatsoever.

The 'stretching' as Asuka called it was the most painful thing Rei had ever experienced in her life. She had no idea she could be bent in so many awful and unnatural directions. Rei swore to herself that she would rather be tortured to death rather than spend another ten minutes stretching with Kaname.

After the warm up exercises were completed, Asuka had everyone form into a human pyramid. Predictably Rei had been assigned the bottom row in the pyramid and was now on her hands and knees supporting three other girls' weight. Asuka stood at the front of the pyramid with her arms crossed occasionally glancing at her watch.

"Three more minutes." Asuka called out and began inspecting the girls' hand and feet placement, making certain everyone was evenly balanced. Eventually she made her way over to where Rei had been positioned and noted with considerable humor how much she was perspiring. "Not quite as easy as it looks huh?"

"I never said it was easy." Rei exhaled. "Simply that it required no intelligence."

Asuka chuckled to herself and then kneeled down right next to Rei's head and whispered, "Tell me what Shinji said"

Rei dropped her head and whispered the words Shinji had never said, but she knew he felt nonetheless, "He loves you"

Asuka smiled to herself and placed her hand under Rei's chin lifting her head so the two were eye to eye. "He loves me. I didn't need you to tell me that, I already knew, Ayanami. How does it feel? Tell me, how does it feel to know the person you love is thinking about another girl when he kisses you?"

_Its not true_, Rei mentally reinforced herself. The last thing she could do was show Asuka that she was weak. _Shinji may love her but he's with you, he chose you and that's enough._

"Look at you Ayanami, you're pathetic, I told you Shinji would be mine and you've delivered him, calmly…coolly…entirely without incident."

Rei began to quiver, began to shake with a mixture of rage and sorrow, and the vibration was felt throughout the entire pyramid. Shinobu, who was at the top felt it the most and gasped, "Oh…shi"

"No…not without incident." Rei said as she used all her strength to thrust herself at Asuka, allowing the entire mountain of cheerleaders to topple to the ground on top of them.

End Chapter


End file.
